What do you do when you wanted to go somewhere to unwind, but you’re too broke to go overseas? You fucking go somewhere local. That’s what I did about 2 months back, I went to Melaka – the historical Unesco city which can only be rivaled by Penang. The land where Parameswara rested under a Melaka tree and saw some mousedeers humping or something like that.
It has been years since I last went to Melaka. The last time I went there, it didn’t give me a good impression, albeit we had quite a romp at one of its clubs there. I wrote about seeing some odd bimbo wearing an extremely revealing attire exposing some taped nipples – check it out here. That was 9 years ago. This time, I went there again not with my crazy ass friends, but with my wife Emily and kid Regine for a short 1 day trip. The trip was meant for us to seek respite from our banal working life, and armed with some half assed googled information about the place, I drove all the way there in 1 sitting (it was damn exhausting but, well worth it).
The first thing that I felt when I entered Melaka, was how quaint the place is. Sure, there were traffic all around and shit… yes, but for some weird fucking reasons, it didn’t feel as hectic and rushed as what we would experience in KL or even Penang. The drive through the town was just so damn relaxing (maybe it was quite early in the morning, I don’t know). The place was exceptionally clean too. Throughout my trip there, I did not see a street littered with garbage and craps all around like Penang. It somewhat felt – for the first time ever in Malaysia – nice… Gotta give it to the guy who runs the city. Penang has so much to learn from Melaka on this aspect…
Well, we got ourselves a hotel smack dab in the heritage area, and had a blast by just walking around taking pictures of some really old and nice buildings, and because it was quite cool / windy back in January, I didn’t even realize I had a sunburn from all the walking and under the sun. The foods there were great too, although not really comparable to Penang. Penang is full of spoilt for shit choices of junk and guilt laden hawker food, whereas Melaka’s greatness rests more on only a handful of specialties like durian cendol (which tasted like mediocre at best), chicken rice (which in my opinion, beats the crap out of the best stall in Penang) and the famous artery clogging ‘satay celup’ (didn’t get to try it due to the overwhelming crowd). Nice place, good food, fair amount of crowd, Melaka really stands out in this peninsula of nothingness. (for those of you really gay people out there, yes, Melaka has shitloads of murals and graffiti too, not my kind of shit though).
It was a pleasant 1 day trip for all of us AT THE CITY, and would’ve been a memorable one for the whole trip if not for that regrettable decision to go to ‘A-Famosa Animal Safari’ (or something like that). I thought it would be great for Regine, you know, after all… looking at old buildings wasn’t really fair to her. It was a big mistake. That place turned out to be a major shithole, everyone should fucking stay away from it like a plague. Sick animals, unbearable stench, filthy establishment, while charging exorbitant price for an entry… it’s a sad sad place. If you’re going to Melaka, just stay within the city and away from crappy places like this, and you’ll be alright.