oh my fucking god i just saw a name called “Teh Lee Ling”. Do you guys know what that fucking means?? It means - Squeeze your tits - in Hokkien! I was laughing so hard, that my sphincter violently puckered and I almost had a stroke!

FUCK! I mean, what was that poor girl’s parents thinking lah? Knowing that their surname’s “Teh”, they should have refrained from using “Lee” for the middle name because it would naturally means “squeeze your…” as the prefix for the given name (a Chinese name typically has 3 parts, the family name at the front, followed by a middle and the actual given name). Any given name added to that “Teh Lee” would have sounded as absurd. Eg. “Teh Lee Lan” would mean squeeze your dick. “Teh Lee Pong” would mean squeeze your cooter. “Teh Lee Pah” would mean squeeze your balls. Goddamn.

So, be savvy. Don’t make the same mistake like Lee Ling’s (your tits’) parents. [wipes tears]
If you ever run out of idea on what to name your newborn, just grab any name off the characters in Star Wars, it would definitely still sound better than ‘Squeeze Your Tits’.

what is it about?
A robbery goes wrong for 2 brothers, and everything else follow suit from thereon.

the plot?
2 brothers, in dire need of money, plotted a plan to rob their parents’ jewelery store. It was supposed to be perfect. The elder brother, who was the original mastermind, had to delegate the job to the junior (Ethan Hawke) due to some unforeseen circumstances. But the junior being a chicken shit he is, got a friend to help him out. Come robbery day, everything went wrong. The friend got himself killed and shot their mom instead. Plenty of dramas ensued, with one event leading to another, and the flick would pan back and forth the storyline revolving around the robbery event…

likes
- the staggered way of revealing the plot. It was like a story being told in point form. Kinda liked it that way.
- plenty of Marisa Tomei nude scenes. Her role’s redundant yes, but why should I complaint if she’s showing us her hot perky tits?
- the believable acting from each and every cast in the flick (well, except Marisa Tomei… I doubt anyone’s giving a shit about her acting…)

dislikes
- the scene of Phillip Seymour Hoffman porking Marisa Tomei doggy style burned a painful image in my brain. It’s like watching a bestiality porn, you know? Marisa Tomei having sex with an albino hippo? Fuck. It’s tragic. (I’m pretty sure this must be a request from Phillip Seymour Hoffman himself, the scene’s like totally unnecessary…)
- nobody did Marisa justice by grabbing her beautiful tits (what the fuckkkk!??)
- the ending’s a bit of a disappointment.

spoilers
- Marisa didn’t show us her beaver.
- Phillip Seymour Hoffman dies in the end.

rating
The flick’s worth a watch. I’d give it a 7/10 with Marisa’s bare naked ass thrown in…

Regine did something dumb today and I was sharing the story with Emily,

Me: “When you were taking your bath just now, Regine took a dinosaur and bit a part of its peel off…”

Emily: **she gave me this weird look, I didn’t suspect anything**

Me: “Her expression instantly changed, into something like this [shows idiotic face]… ha ha ha, it was so funny. You know how bitter these dinosaur peels can be, right? That was just so silly of her.. ahaa haa hakss”

Emily: **she gave me this even weirder look, that was when I realized why…**

Me: “Oh my god, did I just say ‘dinosaur’ peel??”

Emily: [nods...]

Me: “Shittt! What is wrong with me?? I actually wanted to say ‘orange peel’ goddamn it!”

I had ‘the moment’ there. You know ‘the moment’? ‘The moment’ is the moment you discover that you have been unconsciously acted like a retard, and to realize that there is nothing you can do to redeem that lost self esteem. (but I was nevertheless… felt thankful, that this didn’t actually happen on our first date or something like that…)

I made a phone call to Company X technical support hot line a few days ago, and was greeted by this douchebag who spoke super fucking fast in English…

“ThankyouforcallingCompanyXhowmayIhelpyou?”

That was the first line which I managed to grasp, but I was completely lost for the remaining of the conversation. I had to actually ask that douche some questions back to confirm what he said, and even that, I had to hard guess what he meant by spotting the ‘yes’ and ‘no’ along the torrent of high speed verbal machine gun.

And this wasn’t the first time I’ve encountered people like this douchebag here. I’ve met many fast food restaurant operators who spoke like that.

“GoodeveningsirhowmayIhelpyou?”
“Errr, one medium set of double cheese burger and a chocolate sundae please.”
“Havingheretakeawaychillyketchuppepsiorangestrawberry?”
“I beg your pardon?”
“Havingheretakeawaychillyketchuppepsiorangestrawberry?”
“Errrmmm, having here, whatever”
“sirwehavefreecondomspromotionsifyouorderextrafriesblablablabla?”
[grabs operator and toss her head first into the kitchen]

Most of the time, I find these fast-speaking people incoherent - probably because the speed of their speech supersedes the time needed for their brain to think. Or perhaps, they have a brain too small to even think at all, and hence, the need to speak super ultra fast to confuse up the listener (I can’t think of a better explanation…)

My Regine already started singing when she was about 18 months (she’s going to be 2 in June). But most of the time, we couldn’t get what she sang because they were mostly bits and parts from random songs that happened to come across her mind at that time. But things have changed about a few weeks back, when we started to hear her singing proper songs (though incomplete).

Last Sunday, I had the rare opportunity to record that down. When I heard her repeating the same song inside her room after taking her bath, I immediately whipped out my phone and said to her “Regine, daddy’s going to count to three… and once I finished counting, can you sing to daddy’s phone?”, and she did exactly just that.

Following is the recording in MP3 format — to download, right click on the link and select ‘Save Link As’ if you’re using FireFox, or ‘Save Target As…’ if you’re using IE.

File - Recording.mp3 (192 KB)

She was actually singing -
Tommy Thumb, Tommy Thumb,
Where Are you?
Here I am, Here I am,
How do you do.

And frankly speaking, she is already a better singer than some of my monotonous friends… and daddy is so frigging proud of her…