Damn.

I just came back from a late dinner with Emily — and encountered a bitter experience that involves driving skills, housewife, mockery, derision and vandalism. Here are the details of what happened (quite a lengthy post):

I was strolling along Carrefour’s big ass car park for a place to park and found a perfect one. As usual, I checked if there was anyone waiting for the seemingly vacant lot, you know, to avoid any conflict of interest. When the course was certified clear, I got myself ready to take the place.

But I didn’t know that a silver car (a Waja) was waiting to reverse into that lot, from about a good 20 feet away. I saw the car moments ago when I was scoping for conflict but, the car was too far away to look like it was reversing into the lot. It looked more like it was waiting for someone than anything, that was because it didn’t turn on its indicator, no reverse light, nothing.

I only knew that the car was vying for that lot after I have :
a) parked my car,
b) alighted from my vehicle,
c) did a few banters with Emily,
d) and walked some distance towards the hypermart…

I walked for about 10 feet or so, when I saw a lady in that freaking Waja engages the reverse gear. She was with a small toddler. When she realized that the spot was gone (only after she reversed 3/4 of the way), she turned her attention to me with a hostile look and started honking like I’ve just stolen the spark plugs from her placenta.

Not knowing what happened, I stooped low to check her out - you know, I thought she was in trouble or something. Maybe her son was chocking or, he tits got stuck on the steering wheel. Anyway, I was in for a surprise when I saw her giving me that mad gesture that I had parked her place, all the while honking like a mad bitch. Though I couldn’t hear what she was yelling, but I could clearly make out that she included a lot of profanities in her language. I couldn’t imagine what kind of parent she was to do that in front of her kid. I was pissed of course, and I responded back by gesturing ‘you didn’t put on your indicator, to let everyone know that you wanted the lot, you were waiting 20 fucking feet away!’

The bitch did not seem to care whatever I was gesticulating and was obstinate that she was in the right. Not intending to provoke that mad woman any further, I decided to walk away. But I she wouldn’t move on, and cars were starting to pile up behind her (because she reverse-positioned her car in such slanting way that it blocked the entire lane) and she was getting honked left right center. Eventually, she had no choice but to look for another place to park and that happened right before I was entering into the hypermart premise. But that was not the last I heard of her…

After returning from my dinner, I discovered 2 long fresh scratches on the hood of my car. 1st one was about 6 inches long, and second one, was about the length of my middle finger. I was so incensed when I saw those scratches…

What I couldn’t understand is - what had she achieve by vandalizing my car? 3 things:
1) to prove herself that she’s a fucking idiot.
2) set a bad example to her kid - “Look, mommy just scratched somebody’s car… how cool is that?”
3) expose herself the risk of getting walloped if she ever get caught of committing vandalism in public.

I was literally pissed, and I could have waited for the bitch to show up from Carrefour - I just wasn’t mad enough. I was planning to give that car a paint job anyway, or even sell it off in a few months - besides, the scratches were just minor additions to the collection of scratches I already had on my hood (bad neighborhood). But the story could have caused a different outcome if she were to vandalize my new Michelin tires instead. I would have gone postal to wreck every single silver colored Waja in the entire parking lot. And was glad that didn’t have to happen.

So what can I do now? Nothing, but to curse that bitch. I wish for her anus to rot and get infested with flesh eating maggots (hopefully, the same size of the scratches she induced) that will her ass off.

Lesson learnt: If you ran into any sort of altercation with another motorist, remember to jot that asshole’s car registration number down. Might be useful later.

Ooh.. the kids finally gone home after messing my place up for the past 2 days. I can finally switch on my PC like I used to… without having to worry about them nosing here and there.

I used to love kids… you know… I loved to play with them. I would talk to them from day till night and I was always so happy to see them around. But that was when I was a kid myself ler…

Thinking about how my nieces and nephews behaved, I have to admit that they are actually waaayyy better than me when I was a kid. But like any other human beings, I have changed. Into a finicky perfectionist. I expect everything in my life to be as close to perfect as possible.

And I expect kids to behave. And since I designed the apartment myself, I kinda developed an indescribable love for my work. I set have strict ground rules to follow to keep the place clean - eg: no food within 5 meter radius from my sofa, permanent ban on kids who fail to comply the rules. Things like that.

I just do not know why it has to be like this. I don’t know how to take things easy when it comes to tolerating kids. I know I should have just cut them some slack and let them have their fun. But no. I couldn’t seem to be able to do that. I can imagine how the kids dread the very sight of me.

But then strange enough, none of the kids are actually scared of me. In fact, they love and admire me. Things would have been easier if they hate me because, they would have resented coming to visit me in the first place… and I’d get less chance of seeing them. But things doesn’t always seem to go the way I want it to be… so…

I woke up feeling like shit all over this morning. I felt so darn sleepy. Actually, I felt pretty much the same every morning except weekends, but today was exceptional. Why? It was because I knew I’m not going to have a good night sleep frin tomorrow onwards.

Emily’s sisters are coming to Penang tomorrow. Well, her sisters are actually ok for me, but it is their kids that are not ok. That’s right, 2 sisters, 2 nieces and 2 nephews. I will probably be thrilled to have so many kids around if I were Michael Jackson. But this is Michael Ooi here. This Michael, isn’t too fond of have little people running around.

Tonight will be for me to do some major housekeeping around. I will have to keep all my harddisks… cables… modems … and other computer gadgets. You can imagine myself like preparing for a war, everything will have to be stowed away for safety. Not those little bastards’ safety but, more for my stuff. My floor will also be littered with rice and pukes… and I’m also in for a risk of having my sofa wrecked again. Like what Charles did months ago.

And then, I also will be worrying about my car. Emily will be driving them around the town with my car. That’s because our family only owns one car. I already started to imagine the kids jumping up and down inside my car and stress my absorbers to the limit. And they will not hesitate to practice their footprinting art work on my cushions and screens. My car will be stressed to its mechanical limit and over, like there’s not going to be another tomorrow. And without the car, I will have to stay at home by myself… no clubbing, no movies and plenty of worries.

That’s why I am feeling like shit all over. It is because I know I am fucked for the weekend. [sigh]

Many of my friends have been asking me… who will be your boss after Rob left? Not wanting to keep my friends and readers itching in suspense, I now have 2 new bosses. 1st - work boss, 2nd - administrative boss.

Work boss - the guy who needs to know every fuck I do at work. This includes my job scope and project for quarter/year and also my career development as an engineer.

Administrative boss - the guy who approves my annual leave whenever I don’t feel like working… and the guy who gives a shit about my welfare during working hours.

So, who’s my new boss?
My new work boss is Pete. If you can still remember, he is the same guy who organized the calamitous karaoke farewell for my ex-colleague CK. Pete is an ok guy… although he lacked of the intelligence to even know what exactly am I doing everyday. One thing I like about him is — he actually LISTENS whenever someone speaks. Now, that’s a very rare trait to be found nowadays. Another beautiful thing about Pete is, he’d approve anything that I pass to him, no questions asked.

My administrative boss is - unexpectedly - my colleague Kermit. Kermit is in his late 30’s and is a senior engineer. His pay is a few times higher than mine, so, he can be my boss.

How’s life after Rob left?
I hate to admit this but, it’s getting really boring for me and my colleagues after Rob left. As if we’ve lost a purpose in life… by losing a common object to hate at. We used to be able to vent all our anger and frustration by talking behind his back or laugh at his ass. But now that we’ve lost our dummy, our stress have nowhere to go. Rob is like the Japs in WW II that surrendered and ended the war. When the war ended, we start to become complacent and put on weight. Eventually, we’ll all be too fat to trim our own toe nails.

Same thing here. Rob’s departure made our brain too free from worries and lack of exercise. And eventually, our brains will all turn slow, rusty and infested by fungus. Seriously, I think I need to look for a surrogate for Rob’s position… else we’d risk of bringing down the whole chain of ecosystem…

My department is planning to have a teambuilding at the end of December, and I was nominated as part of the committee member to organize the event.

The arrangements include planning of headcount, balancing the budget, duty segregation amongst the committee members, selection of venue, transport arrangements, etc. A whole long list of them. It wasn’t easy. I never knew that planning for a mindless event can be so much pain in the ass.

My duty in the committee was to work out something that would make people wanting to participate in the event. This pretty much includes activity planning and also the lucky draw event. And while doing that, I kinda realized a lot of things about people in general. Sort of like an eye opener for me.

You see, the purpose of a teambuilding program is to educate people about the importance of working together as a team. Or just simply, it’s a program to make assholes realize that he’s not John Rambo. It’s a good thing. So, why the fuck do we need to give them free stuff or organize lucky draws to get them to do something that’s already good for them in the first place? Are they too stupid to realize that this is suppose to be good for them?

I actually quoted this in the meeting : “We people are really screwed up. We need to bribe them to do something good for themselves? That’s really stupid”. My point is, teambuilding is useless if the participants are not committed in the first place. Bribing them with gifts to get them to attend the event — is one perfect example that those people lacked of the commitment to improve. They will not attend the teambuilding event if there aren’t any free lunch or cool looking caps for them to bring home. They only want those free gifts, not the teambuilding. If that’s the case, what’s the point then, to organize the fucking teambuilding? Why don’t we just give the money away to charity instead? It would have served a better purpose.

Before I was nominated to join this committee, I was well known to be a skipper myself. I have skipped basically almost every teambuilding there ever was. Everyone said that proves that I’m a misanthrope. Well… misanthrope my ass. I told my boss (not Rob, it’s Rob’s boss - SaltyFish) the reason I refused to join any of their teambuilding was because of their bullshits. Their programs suck and they are only suitable for retards like them. That was why I got elected as part of the committee - to organize one that doesn’t sucks and for normal people. Me and my big mouth.

And now, I have to figure this big problem - how to make a bunch of stupid working adults to learn about the importance of teamwork? I proposed to throw them in an isolated island without anything for a week… but my suggestion was rejected. It is too dangerous and not practical - they said. Well, I guess those bunch of sissies prefer to be Rambo after all. They want their teambuilding to be simple like a primary school sports day event with free lunch. Fuck them.

Kinda sad when you think of it doesn’t it? That I have to work with these people every fucking day.