Posts Tagged ‘Penang Hill’

July 10, 2012

Penang Hill

I have not been to the Penang Hill for such a long time, that I have totally forgotten how shitty it is. About a week after I have joined Company T, the department organized a teambuilding up there on Penang Hill for a treasure hunt event and yes, I have confirmed it again – that place is a shithole.

A lot of people out of state always ask me about Penang Hill, and I always tell them that Penang Hill is a shithole. There’s nothing to do there. Like literally. No theme park, no mall, no nothing. I really don’t understand why would anyone want to go up there. There are only a few ordinary buildings there which hold no entertainment value at all. Eg.
– an Indian temple (Ordinary at best. You’d pretty much get more awesome temples with more historical value around the town than this one)
– a mosque (Same thing – you can get more awesome mosques around town – check out Kapitan Keling)
– several eateries (Overpriced and bland. Any shit down the hill is better)
– a hotel (That looks like it’s a working place for cheap geriatric hookers)
– an owl museum (Tourist trap. It’s not even a fucking museum)
– a police station (That looks deserted and a bit dilapidated.)
– a posh looking restaurant overlooking the ‘view’ (that’s about as ordinary as seeing white hair on an old geezer’s head)

Some say it’s a great place to hang out because the air is cool there. But that’s a complete bollocks. It’s not any cooler than my car air con at its worst condition. Some people say that the view’s awesome (or something along that line). But it’s just a view of the city, which most of the time is blurred with smog from the pollution and haze. So, without (or lack of) the view, the coolness, and places of interest, Penang Hill is reduced to nothing but a massive shithole.

The most interesting thing is probably the train ride up and down the hill. The new train is pretty fast, which makes ascending/descending the slope a little bit of an exciting event. But what’s the point if its sole purpose is to transport you up a giant stinking shithole? It’s sad really. Penang the fucking Hill. The only way to redeem its sad existence is to probably to pimp up the train to become a roller coaster, that meanders up and down the hill for a fee. Maybe to spice things up, we make it go under a fake log, throw in a few areas with close proximity with wild local animals and perhaps a couple of fake paranormal effects (hill spirits) or something like that. It’ll be a bomb. Or at least better than a stupid train ride up into a shithole. But alas, I’m not the government so, it’s still a shithole. Don’t go there.

(I see it more as a fancy rest stop for hikers hiking from the Penang Botanical Gardens. But if you’re going there by the train and expecting it to be interesting, you’d be disappointed)

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