The Penang Bridge became hell yesterday when a truck overturned and plowed into a score of smaller vehicles. It was reported that the authorities had to close down the bridge for which lead to a massive congestion that stalled thousands of commuters who travel across the strait daily. The congestion was soooo bad, that a lot of vehicles stalled from overheating engine… which in turn, aggravated the jam even further. Definitely one of the worst traffic jam ever.

Now, where was I during the entire catastrophic event? I was happily surfing the net inside my company, thanks to a mobile phone call from a friend who was trapped inside the massive jam. Then, I went to Carrefour to have a relaxing dinner with my wife Emily… and later did some shopping before going home at about 9pm. Thank God for the invention of mobile phone (sorry, I have no idea who invented the mobile phone)

Now imagine this, how is it like if there is no such thing as a mobile phone?
- I’d probably be cussing and smacking my steering like a lunatic inside my car on that day…
- I would not be able to receive those cute SMS text pictures during festive season
- I won’t be able to feign having an important phone call and excuse myself halfway through a boring meeting…
- And probably, no one would be able to divorce their wives through SMS anymore… which I think is a super sad thing to happen. (Kidding).
- many more.

Now, isn’t mobile phone a wonderful thing? It obsoleted a lot of conservative practices… and now it is saving us from driving straight to hell.

Who knows if the mobile phone could even wipe out the roaches & terrorism as well? We’ll never know. We just need to sit back and witness achievements after achievements being struck by this wonderful piece of invention. Kudos to God and whoever that invented it.

When I was inching my way through the heavy traffic home yesterday, I saw a car stalled by the side of the Penang Bridge. The car had a puncture on one of its tires and out came a pretty young thing. She looked kind of distressed and started to wave like mad for help. Although it looked weird to me the way she was waving, but it seemed to be effective. It just took only a few seconds before some guy stopped and came to her rescue.

The girl was sure lucky… thanks to her fair skin and well endowed body. Ever wonder what would happen if she looks like some dehydrated corpse from the Valley of the Kings in Egypt? Is she going to wave until the end of time? Or worse, what if she got the puncture in the middle of the night and there’s no one available to help her out? (and there was no network coverage to call someone from her cellphone?)

None of this would have been an issue if she knows how to change the wheel herself. It’s not really that hard. One just need to jack up the freaking car, turn a few nuts and fit in the spare-wheel. It’s much simpler than those cross-stitching shit that most girls are so good at.

Emily told me that most girls are reluctant to learn how to change the wheels because they are heavy (no… not the girls… the wheel). But I don’t think that’s an acceptable excuse for not wanting to change a wheel themselves. And it’s not logical either. You see, girls are known to be able to lift quite a load. Just look at them hauling back those cargo whenever there’s a sale at a shopping mall somewhere… They can weight up to a few kgs, that’s about the weight of a wheel, if not more. For the record, I’ve seen a petite lady who carried a few grocery bags and her 3-4 year old toddler at the same time (in a shopping mall).

I think the problem lies more in their mentality. Some girls are just too afraid to get in contact with grease. To them, grease are for guys, brutes and beefcakes, like us. Chores with black grimes are better left for somebody else rather than themselves. That’s not right. You can’t expect people to be there for you just because you think you’re too clean for a job like that. (well, unless you have a pair of big boobies and a chiseled physique - but even that, you do get old someday, right?)

Just don’t worry about the grease. Getting dirty is a small sacrifice when compared to the risks of waiting around vulnerably to wait for help from an unknown person.

*Grease is actually good for our skin. I might sound like I’m bullshitting but I am not. Try to wipe your greasy wheel rims with a cloth… you will see gleaming surface beneath as if it has just been polished. Well, it actually does the same thing to your skin too. That’s because they block UV rays, dirts, bacteria and even toxic chemicals, out of your skin. It’s like a layer of protection that locks your skin inside. There are some cases of grease that even cures schizophrenia… because its fume contains stimulating agent that makes you feel more alert and shit… Really.

Had a bad start this morning.
The Penang Bridge was all jammed up this morning. I was stuck in the same 500 meters for 45 minutes without knowing what actually happened. After much cussing and smacking on the steering, I finally saw an overturned car which blocked almost the entire 2 lane bridge. Windscreen was smashed .. its wheels were completely destroyed and the entire car was badly twisted like auntie anne’s pretzels. When I drove past the wreck, I instantly recognized the driver (victim) - he was one of our IT administrators. Poor guy.

Well, I just can’t understand how the car could get overturned on a perfectly straight road like this… Fuck, his overturned car should have plunged into the sea instead - so that we innocent people could be spared from the jam : P

By lunch time, I received news from Blackie that Doug’s mom had passed away. So, during lunch, we went to his late mom’s wake to pay the last respect. Doug was looking quite alright despite the sad event. I can tell that because once we arrived, he began to talk about his stories and adventures as usual - no signs of mourning. So, I reckoned that he must have gotten over the fact and had already moved on. May his mom rest in peace.

And during the visit to Doug’s place, I saw something very disturbing - an unshaved female armpit! Unplucked or unshaved, whatever it was, it sure looked was very revolting.
The subject was actually my colleague - which I would call her “AnnElle”. AnnElle is quite a nice lady and is in her early 30’s. She got big boobies and… nevermind… irrelevant topic.
So, this AnnElle came along with us to Doug’s place for his mom’s wake. Apparently, the place was quite hot and she had to take off her cardigan - and down to her sleeveless blouse. As she was fanning herself repeatedly due to the heat, I couldn’t help but noticed a dark patch of ’something’ under her armpit. Curious, I indirectly tried to look closer to check out what the fuck that was… and then I fucking saw it - a patch of armpit hairs! Girls with armpit hairs are always a major turn off for me. It was absofuckinglutely disgusting. Uweerrghh !

When I was in China, I almost got shocked into coma. Girls in China DON’T SHAVE OR PLUCK THEIR ARMPIT HAIRS. In fact, they treat it like a fashion or something like that. One would grow armpit hairs for a few inches and then parade around showing off their pit hairs by swinging on bus rails wearing sleeveless garments. Uwekkk… I couldn’t enjoy my meals any worst than having them in China.

So, girls out there. Please, shave or clear your armpit at least once a week. Bushy armpits don’t attract men/boys/guys… they attract ticks. (Different issue with men, because men sweat a lot… and we know ticks don’t thrive very well in salty environment… ). Ticks suck blood… and eventually, your armpit will turn purple due to lack of blood. And by then, you would have no choice but to AMPUTATE YOUR ARMPIT. I’m not making this up. So please, shave your armpit.

The sky was filled with haze today. It shrouded the entire Penang bridge. Couldn’t see anything at all. I guess the Indonesians are burning their forest again. It’s really sick to have a neighbors like them. Imagine your neighbor doing their barbecue party right next door and fanning all the smoke into your apartment. And they didn’t bother to offer you any of their chickens… and all the while, the other neighbor rents your pipe water… and sell them back to your maid at a much higher price. People do weird things that are difficult to explain.

Well …today, apart from the hazy weather, there are something else that was weird too.

You see, my company hires a lot of assholes. Speaking to them nicely will not yield you any expected results. But today, everything weren’t happening as they should.

For the past few days, I have been arguing with a manager about the emergency exit in my lab and he has been acting like a prick about it. But today, he suddenly barged into my lab… I was getting myself ready for another round of shouting match… but to my surprise, that motherfucker came to apologize & agreed to work out a solution to my problems with a targeted dateline. It was totally unbelievable.

And Rob was acting weird too. He was particularly nice to me today. I felt so quirky about all these. Are all these related to the recent close up of planet Mars to Earth? Could all these be due to the Indonesian ‘barbecue haze’? Or could these be due to the eeeevviiillll spirits of the hungry ghost month?

When abnormal things turn normal, it scares the shit out of me.

A bloody hectic morning. The entire Penang bridge was badly jammed - due to several accidents at the end of the way. The congestion was longer than 8 km on that narrow fucking bridge. Damn waste of everyone’s time … damn tired and frustrating.

I don’t know who was the fucking moron that designed the stupid bridge. It was so ridiculously narrow. Everytime when there is an ah beng or any speeding low life bastard gets into an accident, the whole fucking bridge will jam like a prostitute’s cunt. It is simply too impractical for a 2 laner to stretch 14km… goddamn. They should have built something wider …and a separate lane for those ignorant motorcyclists as well … FUCK…

Today Rob called me about my project. Asked this and that … covered a lot of details. Don’t fucking know what he’s up to. Asked him, that shitbag refused to reveal much - except that it was for some ‘justification’ purposes. What? Justification to get himself frigged in the ass?

Nevermind about him. I don’t give a shit if he decides to promote me or sack the shit out of me. I have had enough with that cheap skate skunk.