I don’t understand why some people like to put up stuffs beside their car windscreen. Soft toys, discarded CDs, flowers, pillows, tissue boxes ..etc. I saw a female Kancil driver the other day, who had such a massive collection of soft toys by her car windscreen, that it must have blocked about 50% of her view… It was like, a zoo full of stuffed animals inside that fucking car.

I mean, come on, isn’t that deliberately jeopardizing her own safety? What good would the menagerie of soft toys do? Give her an orgasm? Or did she do that to make everyone think that she’s cute and therefore, that much fuckable than other females?

Well… the truth is, but NOBODY GIVES A CRAP if your car looked good or bad on the inside. All that we care is, you don’t drive like an inconsiderate dickwad and stay free from accidents. With that mob of animals blocking your view, you’re putting yourself and others in danger, and for that, you rightfully claim the title as ‘a cunt’. Windscreens… or any other glass screens inside your car — are meant for you to have visual contact with the outside world, so that you know where to steer your vehicle carefully to. They are not meant as a window for you to show off your stupid stuffed animals (or whatever) to the public.

I seriously think that our country should have a constituted law against stuffed toys (or anything) inside a moving vehicle. Whoever that violates this law, will have to shove all of the stuffed animals from that offending car up into the driver’s ass… and banned from driving for life.

Recently, my family has been pestered by a group of religious individuals who wanted us to join their religion. I used the word ‘pester’ because we weren’t exactly thrilled with them breathing down our necks and invading our privacy for their stupid shit religious cause.

These fuckers first impersonated as our family friends (through an uncle of mine) to gain access to our attention, and then slowly, they would start to preach about their God and stuff. Sometimes, they would even indirectly condemn other religions. And when we decided to ignore them, they started to make annoying phone calls like loan sharks to our homes, asking us to join their religion… That was when it really got down to my nerve. I had to scream at those bunch of fuckers for a few times to get them off the hook.

To me, religion is a very personal thing. Each individual has his/her own preference and thought about it. For me, it is like a tool to keep people in control, civilized and shit. It’s pretty much like the modern operating systems in our computers. They keep shits together. And we get to choose Mac, Linux or Windows. Same with religion. We choose what to believe and what we want.

But the bunch of religious freak here… they’re like Microsoft trying to monopoly the trade. They’re making their religion a cult - to brainwash everyone to believe what they believe? Isn’t that some kind of violation to our basic rights? How would you feel if people were to shove his dick into your mouth?

I remember there was once I met a girl who would quote about God every time we speak. She claimed that she has the capability to speak to her angel, and it was fucking awesome bla bla bla. I didn’t plan to fuck with her until she remarked that I was a ‘lost’ person for not believing in God like she does. That was when I decided to ask her God out for a talk and I said this to her -

“Look girl. I’m gonna be at Starbucks Gurney tonight. Why don’t you come with your angel and meet me there at 11pm. We’ll talk about everything there.”

She responded with a bunch of lame excuses that was rather sad. Sad because she had to actually lie to desperately make me believe some bullshit about her and her fucking angel (probably a dildo). I thought religion is all about doing good things and not to be such a crook, but look at this girl here… my God… (pun intended)

I always shudder at the thought of being religious. Call me a devil, evil, a heretic or whatever… - but that’s the way it goes. It’s my prerogative to choose what I want to believe. And I believe, I don’t really need religion to tell me what I should or shouldn’t do. With enough common sense and education, I believe I can do better in life if not the same as any religious person can. If anyone thinks that it’s really that bad for me to not have faith in something, then fine. It’s my problem. Let me worry about that. Just don’t come harassing me and my family…

I just checked out that William Hung video. Well… I… have no comments about his ‘performance’. He does look like a nice guy though, a typical guy next door look. It amazes me the level of fame that he has achieved that none would have imagined he could.

But then, I feel kind of sad for him. Sure enough, he has balls, guts and bladders to pull that in front of the American national TV (and world) - but it is rather over-the-top to say that he’s good. Admiring his courage is one thing, stoking that poor fellow to believe something that isn’t true, is another.

I hate to see people start fawning all over him by flippantly telling him that he’s a great singer, dancer, etc. We all knew it… that he can’t fucking sing. He is NOT TALENTED at all. It’s like telling a retard how smart he is, while you shake your head behind him. I mean, come on, guys… do you actually find thrill in doing that?

I even learn that chicks are now starting to flock over to him, and saying shits like how sexy and awesome he is. But why only they do it after his audition? Why wouldn’t these girls go crazy over him BEFORE the audition? It’s because these people wanted to ride on his fame. Attention seeking whores.

It’s cruel to do that to him. [gosh what is wrong with you people *sigh*]

Saw the aftermath of an accident when I was on my way home today. A Proton Iswara Aeroback ran into the rear of a Hyundai Sonata. The scene was quite bizarre, really, because from my point of observation, it didn’t look like an accident at all. It looked more like a blooper. Know why? That’s because only the Proton sustained damage - half of its hood was folded back, while the Hyundai was basically unscathed.

Magic of Proton, people would usually say. It has been quite a common sight for most Malaysians, to see a Proton get wrecked beyond recognition even from a small bumper collision. This is not because it is overly efficient at absorbing impact or something like that, but because it sucks. People have been saying that all Protons are made from recycled Milo cans, but I think even that is an overstatement. I think they’re made from recycled condom foil. *shrugs*

I wonder why would our government bother to control speed limit at our national highways? Safety my ass. Just look at our Proton. No airbags. Poor quality. Looks like shit. Just take a look at that ‘Tiara’, for instance. That thing basically looks like a portable toilet with wheels. And then look at that ‘Juwara’… my god… I don’t know if it should even be called a ‘vehicle’. Even my washing machine looks better than it…

So, what the fuck is wrong with these Proton engineers? Have they got no eyes and brain? Look at the pieces of junk they’ve manufactured. They’re a disgrace, and yet they dare to claim that they are the leading automobile company in Asia. It’s like a big joke we make to ridicule ourselves. A bad experiment gone awry.

I believe a lot of Malaysians have no choice but to buy Proton cars as they are the cheapest around in the market. I have no objection about the pricing but, just one thing — someone has got to make sure that we get the acceptable quality for what we pay for… But sadly, this isn’t happening. Yet.

My friends and I had a rather unpleasant lunch at Nando’s yesterday, thanks to the screwed up crew who mixed up our orders. They mixed up the orders for a few times (what are the odds, hell), and had us wait for more than 15 mins. I was beginning to feel pissed of the multiple errs in a short period of time.

While we were waiting halfway through, the crew sent one of their hot waitress to come over to offer an apology. I wanted no troubles at all so, I accepted it with an assuring smile and told her that it was alright. The cuteness of that tall / sexy waitress actually played a significant role in calming me down, but most of it was because I quite a mellow guy in the inside. So, with a renewed experience, I continued to wait, until my order came… and for the 3rd time, they got my order wrong. Again. This time, I was really mad (the order was delivered to me by another waitress, who resembled some bug I saw on my apartment staircase which I do not know its actual scientific name). This time, it was the wrong sidedish. The following conversation then takes place :

Me : “Look… you first mixed up my order. Then, you mixed it up somemore. And then, you gave me the wrong sidedish. What exactly is your problem??”

Insect waitress : “Oh… I’m really sorry sir. We have a new cashier who took your orders wrongly and…”

I didn’t let her finish,

Me : “That’s not my problem, ok?”

Insect waitress : “I’m terribly sorry sir. Do you want me to change your sidedish?”

Me : “No thanks. I’ve had enough. I’ll just settle with this one. Just let me be and speed up the rest of the orders for my friends… ok?”

10 minutes passed, a couple of my friends’ orders were still nowhere in sight. We’ve waited for a total of more than 30 minutes. I then hollered for the insect waitress to come over and berated her for another round. This time, I was louder and meaner than before, and in the matter of seconds, our orders were fully served.

It was then, Emily commented

Emily : “Pity her. It was not really her fault… and was the one who got all the scoldings…”

I then retorted,

Me : “Dear… I’m not against her as an individual. I’m scolding her as a representative of Nando’s. I do not care if it was due to the new cashier or not. If one of them fails, they all fail as a team. She should take it as a Nando’s staff, not to get personal.”

Emily : “Well, why didn’t you pick someone else the second time? Why did you scold only her? Why not other waitresses or the guys?”

*danger alert*

Me : “Alright… maybe I was a bit biased. I could have picked to yell at the pretty waitress just now instead of that ugly waitress.”

Emily : “You’re a terrible person… do you know that?”

Me : “Well, I’m just another human being. Let’s say, if you were asked to hate someone… would you choose to hate a good looking person or a detestable ugly looking person? Which one of them is easier for you to hate? The answer’s obvious, right? That’s the advantage of good looks. Good looking people makes us harder to hate. So, instead of putting myself in such a dilemma, I chose the worst looking one to scold… so that I can do the scolding in a more efficient way. They all still fail as a team, it’s all the same.”

*not only I saved myself again .. but managed to prove a point in such a short period of time*

Emily : “Hmmm … I guess you’re right in some sense. Just look at her… sheesh, she’s getting scolded again by the other customers… This world is so unfair…”

Well, that’s the truth, like it or not. The world is not just unfair - it’s FUCKING unfair. The insect waitress could have easily set a record of ‘the most hated waitress in that Nando’s outlet’… just because she looks so damn ugly like that. The Nando’s management should have put her to work inside the kitchen… away from the public for the benefit of all, and let all those good looking chicks handle the customers. It’s a strategy that has already written in the books.