Today seemed like any normal day. Woke up bright and fresh, just like every other day.

But when I arrived at my office cube… the feelings changed. Somehow changed into a very gloomy feel when my eyes caught on something grotesque - Jude in her new hairstyle. The execrable sight then converted itself into a set of erratic impulses… which made my body twitch as if I’m suffering some kind of epilepsy fit. I had goosebumps popping up on every millimeters of my skin.

She was standing there right across giving me this “Hi, Michael” smile. I reckoned that she was expecting me to checkout her new hairstyle or something. I was giving her this emotionless stare as I was still stunned by her awkward hairstyle. It has this flat out snip on her frontal fringe… that goes together with 2 very ridiculous looking longer fringe by the side of her temple.

It was fucking hideous. It made her face look like some bipedal primate from the Borneo jungle. I bet if she were to loiter anywhere near the Amazonian jungle… one might even mistaken her as the infamous enigmatic big footed Sasquatch. (if you do not know what a Sasquatch is, go find a nearest toilet bowl, put your head into it and flush)

I pretended to be unperturbed by her appearance and smiled back. A smile as fake as Demi Moore’s tits. I had to maintain my composure not to get a stroke or something - because I’ve got a lot more things to live for in this life. When I was taking my seat, she was still standing there looking at me… still with that comatose inducing smile. I noticed there was a big bouquet of flowers on her desk… and she probably wanted me to ask her about it.

But of course I wouldn’t. I refused. She could have bought that for herself and wanted some attention around. That ridiculous haircut was an additional effort to ensure nobody got left out from her broadcast of attention seeking signals. And when any unsuspecting victim were to ask about her Valentines gift or haircut - she would then leap on that person and rape the daylights out of him. That’s how a psychotic rapist would do to randomly pick their victims. Jude looked exactly like one to me.

No way I’m gonna check anything out on her. No way. And I’ll be looking out for sneak attacks throughout the week (she’s on the day shift this week).

I received a memo yesterday - that I am required to move my desk across the office into another cubicle. Reason? The director wants my place for his new office.

Well, it’s a good thing, as my current place is quite crampy and hot. So without objection, I started to move my stuff over to the new cubicle since late yesterday. The new cube is nice, very spacious, and is located at a very nice corner with plenty of privacy.

But there is one thing about my new cube that bugs me — it is located right next to Jude. Now what about Jude? She’s scary, man. I can’t accurately describe much about her except that she’s got this fondness to come near and talk to me. The thing is, she makes me feel uncomfortable.

I’ve always averted from talking too much to her before this. I’d steer myself away whenever I see her in front. I’d go ‘oh-ok-yeah’ to shorten every conversation. But somehow, she has always been able to catch me up. Uggh.

Anyway, the idea of me moving next to her is a venison moving next to a colony of hyenas. It’s almost pronounced like a death sentence. When she saw me move my stuff in, she kinda excitedly stood up and exclaimed “You moved next to my cube! Hyuk hyuk hyuk hyuk!”. I swear that’s exactly how she laughs. Freakishly freakish.

I am imagining the worst now. Like when I am busy typing something important (like an entry for my blog)… I’d suddenly notice some acrid smelling transparent goo dripping from above… and then when I look up to check out what the fuck was that — I will see Jude salivating from above peeking at me - like that nasty alien in the movie ‘Alien’. And that’s when she would cue in her “hyuk hyuk hyuk hyuk” trademark giggle.

Fuck. I think I’ll need to apply for permission from the management to install some high voltage barb wire along the perimeter of my office cube. Then, probably keep a couple of pitbulls guarding the passageway, and hire a 24-7 security guard armed with some nasty hole punchers. Maybe lace a few bouncing betty’s underneath the carpet as well… just to keep her away…