A few days ago, my sister paraded around the house showing off her new haircut…

“That’s a disgusting haircut. You looked like a typical witch version of ah lian” I remarked.

This of course aggravated her, which prompted her to respond,

“You and your poor eyesight. I am better looking than a lot of people. You ought to go for a checkup”.

“If you’re as good looking as you claim to be, then why would you need cosmetics or a fancy haircut to enhance your looks? Or are you trying to mask your ugliness? Just accept the fact already, you’re born ugly.”

My comment immediately sent her back into my mom’s room, in front of the mirror. She would look at herself to check for imperfections (it was everywhere, but she was too blind to spot one…) and attempted to fend for herself on my acerbic comment. But I think deep inside, she knows - that I have revealed an ultimate truth. It was her ego that was fucking with her.

Well… my sister indeed isn’t that bad looking compared to many living organism. Worms, houseflies, proboscis monkeys, to name a few. But revealing the truth and aggravate her at the same time is sure fun.

Anyway, back to the topic. Has anyone actually wondered, why do girls need to wear make up to feel more confident? Why do they need all the fancy hairdo’s to look good? Why do they like to make their face looks different with thick makeovers? Are these implications that they are ashamed of how they really looked like? And they’re masking their face up with makeovers and deception just to be confident? This is so wrong.

Imagine yourself seeing a pair of cool Timberland boots, which you liked very much. After saving enough money to buy it and bring it home, it turns out to be of different color, design and product altogether. In that case, would you feel cheated? You paid for a pair of boots you liked, but it somehow turned out to be something different! So if your girl were to look different without makeup, would you feel like you’ve been cheated? It’s very hard to think that you wouldn’t, dude.

Let’s face it. We are now all living in a world full of deception. Our ancestors used to say - do not believe anything unless you see it with your own pair of eyes. That belief is sure obsoleted now. With science and technology, nothing is impossible. Beautiful things are not natural anymore because the fake is so much better than the original. Fake face, fake teeth, fake tits, fake hairs… you name it.

For me, I will try to be honest here. I would like my girl to be attractive of course (hey,… who doesn’t?). But I would prefer for her to be like that ALL THE TIME. No makeovers to veil her face. No fake eyelashes. No fake titties for me to get excited. No fancy hairdo’s. I want her to be pleasant, just like that. All natural. And I’m glad that I found her.

So, to you guys out there. Good luck. Just a caution - be sure to check how “boots” really look like before bringing them home. Do not make critical decisions based on the first impression. You need to ‘test drive’. You need to clear the deception, and find out about the truth…

My house phone rang at 2.15am. It rang for quite sometime before waking me up. I gathered around 30% of my consciousness (which was just enough for me to figure out how to open the door, and walk to the phone in the dark) to pick up the goddamn phone. A very monotone female voice spoke something in the phone (like she was in a trance).

I asked “who the fuck is this?”. She began to murmur something unintelligible (that’s probably because I’m half awake that time). Then she said something about my mom… and something about my cousin too.

I kept asking her what is she talking about (I’m still very blur at that time) - she then mentioned something about my grandma (which had passed away on May) & something about possessing my cousin’s body. That was when I got really freaked out. As I tried to slap myself to sober up - I realized that the lady on the phone was actually my stupid sister - Beancurd. I asked “Is this Beancurd? What the fuck is wrong with you? Do you know what time it is??”

She kept uttering some garbage and her voice remained very monotonous. This kept going on for like 10 minutes, with the half awake me hurling cusses after cusses to her.

I forgot how the phone call ended but I know what had happened. She probably sleep walked and prank called on me. I told my mom in the morning and that was when my sister called in again.

This time, she sounded normal. Mom then told her about what she did last night - and as expected - she didn’t have a clue about the incident. She was sleep walking at that time. But my mom was trying to be superstitious about it - could it be my grandma who possessed Beancurd’s body and talked to me on the phone?

I told my mom - grandma had a hard time to even remember the last 4 digits of our house phone number, how could she have possibly made that phone call? It’s fucking ridiculous.

Actually, my cousin’s wife did get possessed last week. She went into a trance or hypnotic state and started to talk about things only my grandma knew. Weird, isn’t it? Are there really ghosts in this world? Or is my cousin’s wife trying to fuck with us?

Well, if it’s for the attention, she could have stripped herself naked and run around the neighborhood - she’ll get all the attention she ever needs. But no one knows if it’s really grandma doing all these out there. I mean, she is not suppose to come back because she’s already dead. It’s unnatural. Could it be that she still has some “business” left undone and was actually trying to hint us about it?

Well, grandma, if you are reading this, you can call me up in the afternoon to my mobile, but please, don’t do it in the wee hours of the morning. I needed the goddamn sleep.