I saw it again. Today. While I’m having lunch. With the guys. At a restaurant.

I was upset. I couldn’t even concentrate to eat that piece of fish on my plate. Nope. I couldn’t.

Blackie witnessed my appetite change … and gave me a “Whuzzap ??” look.

I told him. Told him what I saw. Something very disturbing. It was exactly across where I sit.

I told Blackie about it. And BigSnake as well. And then both of them saw it.

What did we see? A lady.

No sleeve.

Bushy armpit.

Hands up.

Waving for something inside the restaurant.

It was the hairiest armpit I’ve ever seen in my life.

I did not go to work today. Had some business with EPF (Employees Provident Fund). I hate EPF. I mean, I don’t hate the money per se, but it’s the organization that handles our money that I’m talking about. But do I have a choice? Fuck no. Every time I go to the EPF office, I will cuss till my throat sores because they’re so fucking loathsome.

They are slow, stupid and seriously understaffed. Their systems are screwed up and their procedures are ridiculously tedious. Some of their staffs are rude and some stink like a belacan.

Yep, that’s right, belacan. If you do not know what’s a belacan, it’s a type of fermented shrimp cake. Very popular amongst the locals for cooking. One very distinguishing feature for belacans is that they have a very strong odor. You know, being a fermented food and all. It smelled something like an unwashed private part (that’s about as closest I can describe)

And that’s what I encountered today. It was my turn at the EPF office counter, and when I was there, I was suddenly hit by this stench of unwashed private part odor, just like a piece of fucking belacan. I have no fucking idea why would there be a belacan smell in the office. I was particularly uncomfortable with it and was looking around for the source. I had been suspecting the EPF lady at the counter - because she looked like someone who doesn’t wash her private part, but I was unable to ascertain.

Since I was stuck there, I just hoped that I would be finishing my business as soon as possible and get the fuck out of there - lest I get sick or something.

It was then, I encountered a double whammy. There was this Indian bloke, who was summoned to the counter next to where I was, launched a second wave of malodor attack. His was an armpit odor, like there was a giant cockroach sitting next to me. I was at the verge of keeling over. Unwashed private part plus the cockroach smell. It felt like I was at the foulest spot there could be on the planet… I was stuck in the middle of a belligerence of aromatherapy - a competition of stinking people.

Imagine this - if I were to have a dog’s nose… a few hundred times more sensitive than a human’s… I probably would have knocked out cold by the multi-odor attack.

I don’t understand what’s in these people’s mind. What the hell were they thinking (if they have been…). Don’t they realize that they have such a strong odor emanating from their body? Don’t they know about something that’s called a deodorant? God…

Till now, I still have no idea where did the belacan smell come from. It could be from the feet, or maybe the breath of that EPF lady. But the most likely part would be her hair, because it looked so fucking slicky like that. And I doubt that piece of shit smells good.

I have to hold my breath through the entire ordeal. Once I got everything done, I fled the place without pronto without looking back. And I’m glad to make it out alive… Fuck…

Had a bad start this morning.
The Penang Bridge was all jammed up this morning. I was stuck in the same 500 meters for 45 minutes without knowing what actually happened. After much cussing and smacking on the steering, I finally saw an overturned car which blocked almost the entire 2 lane bridge. Windscreen was smashed .. its wheels were completely destroyed and the entire car was badly twisted like auntie anne’s pretzels. When I drove past the wreck, I instantly recognized the driver (victim) - he was one of our IT administrators. Poor guy.

Well, I just can’t understand how the car could get overturned on a perfectly straight road like this… Fuck, his overturned car should have plunged into the sea instead - so that we innocent people could be spared from the jam : P

By lunch time, I received news from Blackie that Doug’s mom had passed away. So, during lunch, we went to his late mom’s wake to pay the last respect. Doug was looking quite alright despite the sad event. I can tell that because once we arrived, he began to talk about his stories and adventures as usual - no signs of mourning. So, I reckoned that he must have gotten over the fact and had already moved on. May his mom rest in peace.

And during the visit to Doug’s place, I saw something very disturbing - an unshaved female armpit! Unplucked or unshaved, whatever it was, it sure looked was very revolting.
The subject was actually my colleague - which I would call her “AnnElle”. AnnElle is quite a nice lady and is in her early 30’s. She got big boobies and… nevermind… irrelevant topic.
So, this AnnElle came along with us to Doug’s place for his mom’s wake. Apparently, the place was quite hot and she had to take off her cardigan - and down to her sleeveless blouse. As she was fanning herself repeatedly due to the heat, I couldn’t help but noticed a dark patch of ’something’ under her armpit. Curious, I indirectly tried to look closer to check out what the fuck that was… and then I fucking saw it - a patch of armpit hairs! Girls with armpit hairs are always a major turn off for me. It was absofuckinglutely disgusting. Uweerrghh !

When I was in China, I almost got shocked into coma. Girls in China DON’T SHAVE OR PLUCK THEIR ARMPIT HAIRS. In fact, they treat it like a fashion or something like that. One would grow armpit hairs for a few inches and then parade around showing off their pit hairs by swinging on bus rails wearing sleeveless garments. Uwekkk… I couldn’t enjoy my meals any worst than having them in China.

So, girls out there. Please, shave or clear your armpit at least once a week. Bushy armpits don’t attract men/boys/guys… they attract ticks. (Different issue with men, because men sweat a lot… and we know ticks don’t thrive very well in salty environment… ). Ticks suck blood… and eventually, your armpit will turn purple due to lack of blood. And by then, you would have no choice but to AMPUTATE YOUR ARMPIT. I’m not making this up. So please, shave your armpit.