April 1, 2019

Penang lingo

Say, you walk along a stretch of eateries in Penang, and you see this sign in front of a beverage stall.

It says “hot(s)”… which means hot drinks, small size. Alright, very straight forward. Then there’s of course, “hot(b)”… hot drinks, large. Ok.
There’s also “cold”, no size option though, just iced… hmmm… Then there’s this odd thing called “park” (see pic above). What the fuck is “park”? They charge your drinks with your parking fee??

Ahaa… adik-adik sekalian… that’s a Penang lingo. It literally means, ‘tied’ in Hokkien. Doesn’t mean shit in that context but it is understandable that when you buy something from a beverage stall, or any stall that sells drinks in Penang, “park” means ‘take-away’ here. You see, the way we ‘take-away’ our drinks in Penang (or Malaysia), is to tie a raffia string to the side of a plastic bag containing the drink, and you can guess why it is called “park”. No styrofoam or cardboard cup bullshit, just plain old plastic bag. Full phrase is called “park piya” (tied at the side, straw on the other side), or “park ka liao” (tied completely, straw packed separately). If it’s just “park”, the default should be tied to the side, straw sticking out.

I don’t have a picture of it here, but you can head over to this page, item #6 – https://www.theodysseyonline.com/10-fun-facts-malaysia

So why the hell is it more expensive then? Because of the volume, my friend. A “parked” drink has about 20 – 30% more content, inclusive of the ice of course… But this is of minuscule in scale if compared to say, a grande sized Starbucks coffee… which could buy you around 5 – 6 packs of “parked” (and more superior) iced coffee…

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March 11, 2019

Regine’s happy song

I remembered one particular day in life, when my daughter Regine was about 5, she came home from her nursery in a jovial mood, sang to us a silly tune with the following gibberish:

“Chick ker Chick ker chong…. Chai ker chai ker chai ker…”

We could not figure out what was she singing about, but it was funny. She’d sing the tune repeatedly through the day, always with a smile. For some reason, the tune lifted up everyone’s mood in the house, and she just won’t stop singing.

Puzzled, my wife asked Regine, “What was that song you’re singing?”

With her high pitched voice (as always), she proudly said “It was from Miss Leong’s phone.” What she meant was, she heard it from her teacher’s ringtone at the nursery.

On the next day, my wife checked with the teacher – out of curiosity – on what was the ringtone that she had on her phone. When the teacher played the tune on her phone to my wife, it turned out to be some Japanese anime song from a cartoon show, but it was nothing like how my Regine sang it. Anyway, the silly “chick ker” song that Regine created herself, burned into our minds permanently like Intel’s semiconductor fuse bits, and it reminded us of the great times of bringing up this little human being we created. Whenever I am down, I’d think of that day she sang this song to us and it makes everything ok again.

At 13 years old now, my Regine spends most of her time buried in her homework and Youtube, if not texting with her friends. I’d occasionally hum the tune of this song to her, but she’d look at me like I am out of my mind. Oh, how I missed those days when she was just the size of a huggable soft toy. Now, she’s about the size of a river crocodile.

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March 7, 2019

“A Prayer Before Dawn” (2017)

I stumbled into this gem of a flick by chance. Normally, with a title like that (which is boring and corny as fuck), unimpressive rating (it hasn’t got a good rating in IMDB or tomatoes), and the list of unknown cast like that (although some of the Thai actors apparently are famous in their own right), I’d normally take a pass at such suspiciously B-grade low budget indie movie. But for some reason, something has drawn me to it. Maybe because it was because it has got the words ‘muay thai’ and ‘prison’ in its description.

It was a surprisingly good watch. Not for the faint hearted but, you’d know what I mean if you’ve watched it (irony). This is the kind of movie that will make you squirm and gasp and freak out. The environment makes you feel and smell things, and would continue to haunt you even way after it is over. Little of it has to do with brutal fighting or action though, unlike how I originally anticipated, but more on psychologically haunting – quite contrary from its description as ‘drama’.

Story’s about a British guy who got hauled to prison in Thailand for drug possession, and got caged in a small overcrowded communal prison space with a bunch of other Thai prisoners. Being a white guy, he attracted a lot of attention and the story details about his daily struggle in the prison. There’s this super fucked up disturbing scene where some of the dominant prison inmates dragged a skinny ass guy and gang raped him at night, much to the horror of the protagonist in this story. I fucking squirmed like a roly poly, and this prison rape scene haunted me for days. The even more fucked up thing was, the guy who got raped sounded a lot like a counterpart of mine at work, and whenever I am in the meeting hearing that counterpart’s voice, I’d think of this prison rape scene (FML). There’s also the romance between this British farang and a transgender guy in the prison, and they actually made out. Fucking disturbing to the max!

Anyway, I can’t help but admire the work of whoever that cinematographed the whole flick. It was gritty, real and very immersive. Plot’s a bit weak, but it was the projected environment that made the watch enjoyable. The director did a good job conveying the experience to the viewer through a masterful use of the camera and set. I read around that the movie is based on a true story, but the events in the movie were spiced up for ‘creativity and dramatic purposes’. *shudders* I’d rate it 8 out of 10.

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February 22, 2019

work rant #xxx

Been mentoring a new guy at work lately. Young guy in his 20’s, guy’s a total fucking wreck. I do not know if this is a young generation thing but, he possesses every trait that I hate about the young gen of engineers. Delinquent, lackadaisical, clumsy and fucking stupid.

When my boss first pitched him to me to be inducted into my team, he came with a caveat that he didn’t get good grades at school. But I did not mind that because, I believed that underdogs are the blackhorses of the society. According to me, they tend to have to work twice harder than those snobs with fancy grades/qualification, and are usually street smart. I am one of them blackhorses. For what I lack in professional qualification, I make it up with sheer dedication and commitment to work. I might sound ribald here, but I am a force to be reckoned with when I am wearing a badge at work. I get respects and I fucking solve problems like Winston Wolf.

Anyway, like what the internet nowadays like to say – “the risk that I took was calculated, but man… was I bad at math.” Couldn’t be more true. I thought he could be like me, but what was I thinking? Fuck me. That new guy is a flop. He talks to himself, and when I explain things that get a wee bit complex to him (but not something too complex that a newbie couldn’t handle), his eyes would roll around like he was being tasered in his nuts. Occasionally, he’d nod off halfway during a discussion. He’d watch Youtube at work, and play one of those China Diablo clones on his fucking cellphone most of the time. He’s disrespectful to the female colleagues and he talks very loudly like he ate too much mercury from a broken thermometer when he was a kid. He doesn’t take notes when being mentored, only to later ask back the same thing that I have explained before.

So what do these kind of sods hope to get out of life/career being such a handful like that? Escapes me. In the old days, I was respectful, street smart and hardworking. I was aggressive and had high aspirations. I am always thirsty for knowledge and I take on challenges after another head on. That’s how I ended up as a project lead in a prominent silicon development company. It wasn’t given to me because I have a masters in something. It’s because of my ability to handle shit. I came a long way from where I was in a household that has only one expectation – to stay out of jail.

Now I see people like this guy, I can’t help but wonder how is it like in his brain. Things must’ve been simpler, and full of fancy creatures that talks. I don’t know if this is an intelligence thing. Fuck you people for being so stupid.

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February 13, 2019

what have i learned – Company T

I have worked in Company T as a project lead for 7 years now.

I’m not saying this proudly but rather, out loud to myself in disbelief. It’s a fuck of a company, and I hate everything in it. Reason why I stayed so long in this place, is because I am rather well paid there (it was double of what I earned from my last employment when joined, now tripled). So, it’s all for the money here now. There’s no heart in it… like a prostitute.

“I just can’t stand Company T employees, they are such whores”, I used to tell everyone that. Now, I can’t believe I’m employed here (I still refuse to call myself a ‘Company T employee’…)

So what have I learned there over the years at Company T? Not all the good things, I’m afraid. I learned how to fake shit there. That’s right… faking shit up.

I learned how to fucking fake a smile. I used to give people the flip-bird hard face when I wasn’t happy about something, but over here, I have to give a fake smile to every asshole I encounter because everyone is backstabbing each other over the simplest of things (if you know where to find the horror stories I encountered in Company T in this blog, you’d know why).

I learned how to fucking fake a courtesy. Like when one of the delinquent engineers refuses to reply my urgent email for the fifth time with a deadline in tow, I have to sound like I’m all dandy with him/her and keep resending the request with sweet frosting on top like “Hi IgnorantFatFuck, sorry for bothering you but, I would appreciate if you could provide the XML file for the voltage limit setting that has been due since last century. Thank you”…

I learned how to fucking fake my mental state. Like when a rookie does something moronic, instead of castigating him/her with something direct and fun like “you’re such a fucking dumbass that I’m surprised you made it this far in life. Did your mom drop you on the head when you were a kid? Or did your stepdad feed you kerosene when you’re a baby?”. Instead, I have to pretend that I care, and part fake words of wisdom to the imbecilic comrade to lift his/her spirits up and guide him/her back to the righteous path.

I learned how to fake a respect. Like when a high ranking oxygen waster wanted to discuss about something that’s retarded, I have to feign interest and pretend that I care enough to listen to his/her brain filth which they uncharacteristically refer to as ‘thoughts/ideas’… when all I think about is which tool to choose if I were to be given the free pass to clobber his/her head.

I learned how to pretend that I enjoy the company of idiots. Like someone whom I remotely know spontaneously joins me at the cafe to talk about something of little interest to me at the cafeteria and I have to fake it like I’m totally glad to have his/her company like I can’t do without, while I actually just want to enjoy my meal alone.

Whores.

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