July 10, 2003

green happenings…

Had more cendol today… ahh… it was marvelous. You know, I had so much cendol nowadays, that I think my internal organs are turning green. Arrrrhhh… goddamn it… they’re green… and i’m fucking pissed… arrrhhh…. fuck Rob… I hate Rob… arrrhhh me wanna whack Rob…

*shirt starts tearing apart into pieces ….but strangely, my Dockers would remain intact*

Arrrggg… I am so green and strong … look at my body… I have six packs now… arrhhhh…

*walks to carpark … pick up Rob’s Cefiro and flung it to the other side of the island…*

Hiyaaaggghhh ….. where is that maggot infested Rob!? Rob!!! Where the fuck are you!? Come out you mongoloid bastard !!

*jumps to office … smashes the fluorescent lights… picks up Rob.. & tears each of his limbs, giving him a slow and agonizing death…

Alright alright I’m getting carried away again. Too much vitamins & minerals from cendol makes my brain hyperactive.

michaelooi  | imaginations  | Comments Off
July 9, 2003

eric the disturbed

Eric is a middle aged sr manager in my company. He has been our lunch member for some time.

A few days ago, we went to this nice hangout place for an economic lunch and there was this small aquarium of flowerhorn fish (4 of them). After we ordered our lunch, while waiting for our food, something unusual happened. Eric pointed at one of the fish and said :

Eric : “Cmon ..flower horn bebeh … show me some numbers on your body… Give daddy some fortune… I need 4 numbers … cmon cmon … don’t be shy… ”

This continued for about 5 minutes when suddenly, he exclaimed :

Eric : “Hey! I saw something on that fish’s body!”

Me : “And what’s that?”

Eric : *very loud* “I saw 2 words!! Filthy Slut!!! hahahah hahahah…”

Coincidentally, this happened at the same time when the waitress was delivering the food to our table and I believe she didn’t have a clue that Eric was actually talking about the fish (we’re an all-guys group) and only heard the last 2 words ‘filthy slut’. We all saw the change of expression on her face and it was so freaking funny.

I bet that waitress will remember this incident for the rest of her life.

michaelooi  | happenings  | Comments Off
July 8, 2003

cendol mania

I finally get to slurp my favorite cendol after missing it for a few days. Ahh… so refreshing. So good…

Cendols are good for health. They contain a lot of anti-oxidants, with lots of fibres, plenty of protein and fortified with calcium. They have pottasium too, rich with vitamins and irons …. and they help our body to absorb more minerals than anything else.

Long term consumption are known to prevent diabetes, lowers the risk of cancer & builds up your body resistance against viral infections — such as VDs, SARs, Hep A/B’s …etc. Makes your eyes look fresh… develop new brain cells and improve the memories, especially for older people. They are also known to be able to cure high blood pressure … appendicitis … tooth plaques … diarrheas …mental disorders … impotence … and in some cases even prevent death

So, people, what are you fucking waiting for?

michaelooi  | nonsense  | Comments Off
July 7, 2003

caught !

Was approached by the big boss (no no .. not Rob … this is Rob’s boss) caught on to me while I was about to do some presentation in a meeting,

BigBoss : “Hey mike! when are u going to attend the departmental team building? You’ve been working here for so many years but I haven’t seen you before in any of our teambuilding before… ”

Me : “Errm … ok … I’ll make it on February…”

BigBoss : “Which year? Trying to trick me again eh?”

Me : “Alright boss … the next one…”

BigBoss : “No… you are to organize one. This is your next assignment. I bet you don’t even know what the word ‘TEAM’ stands for…”

Me : “TEAM stands for Together Everyone Asks Money… from you… boss… heheh…”

The whole meeting room then laughed at BigBoss ….

BigBoss : “Hey!”

Me : “Calm down boss … I’m just kidding. I’ll do it. You have my word.”

I’m thinking of using the teambuilding budget to organize a kick ass buffet. I bet that’ll be way more fun than running around like overgrown dorks!

michaelooi  | work shit  | Comments Off
July 6, 2003

almost forever…

Had an early day & brought my dad to the hospital for his medical checkup. Again… had to endure the long queue – waited from 9am – 3pm.

No serious alerts from the doctor this time – except the heads up about dad’s liver. Basically, his liver isn’t any more useful than a piece of rock now.

Well… what can I complain. My dad partied too much during his macho days & it’s time for his liver to quit. He’s paying the hefty price now. All I can do now is to get him to the doc as and when necessary…

His medication + fees cost me another 300 over bucks this time. I’m beginning to feel the pain. The doctors really make a lot of money … 2nd highest in my list of top wage suckers:
1) pub owners (yeah … parties…)
2) doctors (pub owners corrupt the livers, docs fix livers)
3) banks (my credit card debts from parties …)
4) lawyers (the fucking mortgage)

Got home at 4 & just hung around the couch pondering about money… Money is definitely mankind’s worst invention …

michaelooi  | personal  | Comments Off