August 15, 2003

going off

I have been struggling today – struggling to get all my work done as much as possible before I head for my holidays. That’s right. I won’t be coming to work for the entire next week. Been waiting for this time of the year – vacation !

My struggle was made worst when Dickhead (one of our managers) organized a lunch meeting to talk about our past quarter’s achievements. I could have used the meeting time to clear off my workload and make use of my extra time to blog or something.

The meeting was boring and the lunch was awful. I was expecting a pizza or something like that. But this guy actually ordered white rice with prawns! I mean … we’re attending a meeting here without proper a table, how the fuck in the world are we going to eat those prawns? Imagine, one hand holding the ceramic plate of rice and another holding a spoon. I usually eat prawns with my bare hands and due to his fucking brilliant plan, I had to swallow the whole prawn with its shells. I swear… this would be the final time I’m attending a meeting by Dickhead. At least I know that he has a bad taste for food.

I finished all my stuffs approximately 3.30 pm and managed to reserve enough time for me to clean up my table, prepare my out-of-office reply notes, and call up my colleagues to follow up my stuffs. I’m feeling real good today working my ass off, knowing that I won’t have to see Rob’s fucking face for the next 10 days or so.

I hope he gets into a lot of trouble during my absence. Like screwing up big time and got his ass fired or something. Oh, or maybe got himself in jail – that’ll be cool. When I return, I would be so happy to learn about his departure to hell. And probably get myself a new sexy female boss, I’ll be so goddamn motivated to work!
*cackles like a hyena

I’m leaving earlier today – got a few appointments tonight.

michaelooi  | work shit  | Comments Off
August 14, 2003

evidence from the past

I’m starting to receive the parts I have been waiting for. Defective computer parts returned from customers.

And I found something very wrong about today’s batch. Most of the parts, were badly damaged, mind me… not defective, but badly damaged. Pry marks, cracked surface, food residue, etc etc. I wonder what actually fueled their angst to abuse their own computers like that. If I’m not mistaken, we ship most of our computers to office users… or at least some literate human beings. But by looking at the parts, it seems more like we’re selling our products to some cro-magnons.

I mean, we humans had spent so much money digging up our wild ancestors just to study how they behave in the past & how they looked like. Well, I think that’s a sheer waste of time. We already have all the pointers around us. If they wanted to know how a cro-magnon behaves, just take a look at our abusive customers here. Do some simple investigations, why are they abusing our computers?
Or they could have studied those cases of domestic violence against housewives by alcoholic husbands. Or the way our local rambos debating who to blame in an automobile accident. You’re seeing a modern version of our caveman instincts here.

Want to know how a cro-magnon looked like? Look at my friend Doug. He had the same protruding eye socket and flat forehead. Sometimes, when he cusses at his boss 3K, you can see the beast behind that pair of vengeful eyes. Take out his clothes & replace them with animal hides, and I bet the scientists would be awe-struck to see an uncanny resemblance. They would save millions, and pay Doug a fortune to have him scanned, studied, probed. Or cheaper still, they could have given him free cendols for a lifetime – he would have consented without much persuasion. Friends included. We can have free cendols when hang out with him. Cool heheh.

I have to analyze these caveman leftovers and complete them before the weekend – as I will be vacationing at Hong Kong.

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August 13, 2003

boss rage

I’m still very free today. Got nothing to do. Spent most of my time surfing and answering phone calls. One of them was made by BigSnake, asking me what the hell is Centrino. I told him it’s a brand of vacuum cleaner. Things like that.

Lunch with the usual bunch. Went to “the place under the bridge” to eat. The 3 old guys (Doug, LeRoy & Eric) were talking about their boss today. Apparently, their boss 3K (short for kiasu, kiasi & kiabo), is also a jerk. Rumored to be worse than Rob, 3K is the kind who would put his nose in anything you do. Micromanage – as they call it in our corporate world. And he’s a an asshole too. Anything bad you can imagine. He is the typical evil boss that all assholes in my company would worship like their religion.

Usually, the 3 old guys would just curse him around during lunch and I was already used to that. Heck, they even named my soft-toy dog (it’s a grimm) in my car as 3K… and occasionally, Eric would grab my dog and punch him in the face and yell – “motherfucker!”. My dog is like a physical dummy for him to vent out his frustrations …*I usually call my dog ‘crazyguy’ *

But today was different. Their rantings has advanced to a whole new level. Today, they talked about torture & some twisted plots to murder him. Doug started with something like cutting off his dick, sealing his sex life shut forever. And Eric continued, to peel his skins and rub plenty of salt on him… then coat him up in honey and let the ants devour him.

And they continued to add more ideas, each time with more grotesque imagination. I thought I was bad. But I felt really thankful today, for I wasn’t the one driving. Else, I couldn’t imagine what would happen to Crazyguy when their imaginations turn into action.

I think I’m gonna hide my dog up the next time I drive these 3 old guys out for lunch.

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August 8, 2003

a queer experience

The sky was filled with haze today. It shrouded the entire Penang bridge. Couldn’t see anything at all. I guess the Indonesians are burning their forest again. It’s really sick to have a neighbors like them. Imagine your neighbor doing their barbecue party right next door and fanning all the smoke into your apartment. And they didn’t bother to offer you any of their chickens… and all the while, the other neighbor rents your pipe water… and sell them back to your maid at a much higher price. People do weird things that are difficult to explain.

Well …today, apart from the hazy weather, there are something else that was weird too.

You see, my company hires a lot of assholes. Speaking to them nicely will not yield you any expected results. But today, everything weren’t happening as they should.

For the past few days, I have been arguing with a manager about the emergency exit in my lab and he has been acting like a prick about it. But today, he suddenly barged into my lab… I was getting myself ready for another round of shouting match… but to my surprise, that motherfucker came to apologize & agreed to work out a solution to my problems with a targeted dateline. It was totally unbelievable.

And Rob was acting weird too. He was particularly nice to me today. I felt so quirky about all these. Are all these related to the recent close up of planet Mars to Earth? Could all these be due to the Indonesian ‘barbecue haze’? Or could these be due to the eeeevviiillll spirits of the hungry ghost month?

When abnormal things turn normal, it scares the shit out of me.

michaelooi  | ramblings  | Comments Off
August 6, 2003


I received a schedule from my senior today – my travel for the month of Sept & Oct. Scary. I’ll have to travel to Singapore 3 times every 2 weeks, a week’s duration for every travel. And since my company doesn’t pay our allowances upfront for our travel expenses, we’ll have to swipe our cards to be able to survive there… and then, to claim them expenses back 2 weeks later when we return.

What’s with all the Singapore trips? Well… there is this project that requires us engineers to make proactive visits to customers and educate them the necessary fundamentals of computers. Sometimes, to even fix their problems. Sort of like a car service guy… but the difference is… the products are different, and a car service guy doesn’t visit your miserable ass. I think I’m going to be very broke in the month of Sept & Oct, I guess no more clubbing for me…

Nothing special happened today – except for my amok incident in the office this morning. This time, a very unlucky Taiwanese supplier was the victim, got blasted with my breath of fire for delaying my reports. I will give that fucker another 3 days to come up with what I want, else, I’m gonna get his ass fried.

Right after that incident… my cube partner told me “You will have a very good prospect becoming a loan shark…” BLAAASSST… my breath of fire struck its second target. Perhaps he should know, a shark doesn’t breathe fire.

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