April 8, 2015

Dr. M

Caught this in the news. Read the snippet first.


The struggling history of Dr Mahathir
BY TAY TIAN YAN – 6 APRIL 2015 @ 9:26 PM

Former Prime Minister Tun Dr Mahathir Mohamad has been attacking Prime Minister Datuk Seri Najib Razak in recent days, the sharpness of his criticism is even greater than criticisms from the opposition.

Some criticisms are justified while some are so unfounded to the extent of character assassination, showing his determination of destroying the target at all costs.

However, he does not seem to care at all!

The question is, why does Dr Mahathir keep doing this? Should we ask Machiavelli? Or Freud?

Machiavelli might say that it could be due to political power struggles and interest conflicts; Freud might tell you it could be a psychological problem of a political strongman.

It reminds me of Singapore’s founding father, the late Lee Kuan Yew.

Also a former Prime Minister, also a strongman who had named his successor, Lee, however, did not break relationship with his successor, he did not attack him with abusive words either. The leadership baton of Singapore was passed smoothly.

When Lee passed away, his successor Goh Chok Tong made some emotional words, “He made sure he arrived before me for all events.

“As I respected him as my elder and mentor, I told him to dispense with this practice at non-formal events.

“But he explained that it was important to observe this protocol.

“Otherwise, people might draw the wrong conclusion that he did not respect me and take their cue from there.”

Lee had considered even such details. No wonder he was so respected and loved by his team and the whole government was so united.

In contrast, even when he was still a freshman, Dr Mahathir had already contradicted the then Umno President and Prime Minister Tunku Abdul Rahman.

When he became Prime Minister, two giants in the party and government, Tun Musa Hitam and Tengku Razaleigh Hamzah, had broken relationship with him, become his political opponents and were eventually defeated by him.

His hand-picked successor, Datuk Seri Anwar Ibrahim was stopped when he was about to step into the Prime Minister’s Department and imprisoned, smashing his dream of taking over the office into pieces.

Another successor Tun Abdullah Badawi, a nice guy who tries not to offend anyone, had to step down under Dr Mahathir’s severe condemnation.

Today, it’s Najib’s turn.

Lee said in one of his books, “If the new PM fails, I have failed… Mahathir never thought that way. He undermined his successors.”

Lee said that as a former Prime Minister, his role was to advise the next generation of leaders in the republic.

As for Dr Mahathir, more than half of his “role” was to defeat his opponents, including the opposition parties, his leaders, colleagues and successors over the more than half a century from the 1960s to 2015.

It is indeed weird as Malaysia has been played in his hands over all these years.

If he spent the energy on fighting against corruption, improve government efficiency and unite the people, he could have won more respect and gratitude from the people.

It makes people wonder whether his actions are for the good of the country? Or himself?

In China, you can hardly imagine Hu Jintao hindering Xi Jinping. In the US, it is quite impossible for Bill Clinton to criticise Barack Obama.

It is a question of the system, as well as part of political ethics. Otherwise, how can a country be governed?

Under a sound system, the opposition and the media are responsible to monitor the government while the Parliament and jurisdiction will restrict the government. Ethically, veteran or former leaders can give advice and criticise policies, but it should not be made based on personal preference. They should never get involved into an endless struggle because of personal and family interests.

What Najib can do is to positively respond to Dr Mahathir’s accusations and put everything under the sun to let the people make their judgements, instead of confronting endlessly with the old man.

This Opinion article was first published by Sin Chew Daily on April 5, 2015

I wonder why people like to compare Dr.M with other leaders? That’s like comparing you with your cousins. It’s like expecting everyone’s success or failure to be rooted from the same few plot of stories. I can tell you, it’s always unwarranted – because everyone has their own way of getting up there. (if you don’t get me, nevermind)

Dr. M, I think, employs a different style than LKY in the south (not that I know him personally but, even blind guys can actually fucking tell already). You know that crazy-ass bald guy in that ‘Whiplash’ movie last year who won an Oscar by being a dick, and the excuse he gave in the movie for being like that? That’s pretty much like Dr. M’s style. He uses pressure and hardship to eke out the best of leaders to take over the country (albeit with a much calmer and composed way, not as Oscar winning as JK Simmons). The fact that he is able to criticize anyone/everyone (and none of them could do jackshit about him) – goes on to show how weak as leaders these people Dr. M criticized are (and they probably deserved it). So, why lah can’t you people just shut the fuck up and let the leaders step up to their war of words like real men?

We need people with balls and brains to run the country. Dr. M – I believe – is trying to find a guy like that. So far, not much luck I guess. Now we watch who steps up for himself.

michaelooi  | snippets  | Comments Off
March 31, 2015

online delivery

Spotted this poster in Facebook. Noticed anything wrong?


Still couldn’t see it? (you suck)

It’s the phrase ‘online delivery’.

Just how the fuck do they do that, actually? Online delivery. They send fried chickens to their customers as a fucking email attachment??
That must be hell of a technological breakthrough! I can order myself some tits! (I mean, why chickens if you can really send something physical through the world wide web?)

I bet they meant ‘online ordering’. You order your food online, and they deliver your order to you physically.

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March 16, 2015

the middle states

I’ve heard from around that Penang drivers are the worst in Peninsular Malaysia. While I agree that the general population of Penang aren’t exactly good drivers, but I think they are still far from the ‘worst’, if one wants to start this stereotype shit.

In my arrogant opinion, the worst has to be those from the ‘middle states’, you know, ‘W’ or ‘B’ plates (KL, Selangor). Why? Everyone knows the fuck why. Middle state drivers consistently suck ass. You randomly grab any Penang driver, the guy’s just a loser who does random acts of annoyance like drive too slow, late indicators, pfffft, just being annoying. But if you were to grab a driver from a ‘W’ or ‘B’ plates, you’d see a disturbing pattern of dangerous habits that endangers the public – like :

Overtaking in emergency lanes.
Favorite past-time in traffic jam for these middle-state degenerates. If you’re in a traffic congestion, you’re bound to see a constant stream of ‘W’ or ‘B’ plated drivers overtaking in high speed on the emergency lane like they’re paid to do so. They’d then shove into the main traffic at the end of the lane – rendering the congestion even worse. It’s inconsiderate, and downright fucking dangerous. On and off you’ll read in the papers about these morons plow into a stationary truck and die, but that happens almost not often enough to deter these motherfuckers from getting themselves bagged and inconvenience others.

Illegal U-turn.
For some strange reasons, the ‘W’ and ‘B’ plated drivers aren’t very good with their memory, as they can’t seem to be able to remember routes and shit. I’d credit that to the evolution at KL – the city council of KL changes the traffic routes so often, that the dwellers there developed what I would call a ‘memory atrophy’, you know, the special part in your brain that memorizes traffic routes and stuff? It got 86-ed from gross under utilization. Because of that, they get lost all the time and always have the compelling need to perform illegal u-turns. Any empty space to the opposite traffic can become their illegal u-turn spot. God knows how many strays or people have been killed from the spontaneous illegal u-turns by a ‘W’ or ‘B’ plated fuckwad.

Speeding in a parking lot, residential area.
They’d speed like it’s a sin to slow down in these areas. I credit to the same biological mutation that made them forgetful, the constant need to find a parking space pronto also made them paranoid about not managing to get a parking spot just because they’re a few seconds too late. Ergo, the compelling need to speed through speedbumps and shit to get from A to B. If they encounter a slower driver in the way, they’d go to the opposite traffic and overtake (in the parking lot or residential area). There’s little room to be considerate because a parking lot to them means life or death (or the 3rd option, double park – see below).

Double parking (more of an annoyance than being dangerous).
They do it all the fucking time. Reason? No reasons needed. But my best guess is years of practice on being a too of a sore miser from paying a parking fee skewed their mental capacity (in a biological, unfixable way) to think rationally. Or simply the reason above – biological mutation. So, when they want to go somewhere, they’d double park the shit out of everyone like they’re entitled to leave their car anywhere they like in their own bubble of reasoning. I’ve once seen a ‘W’ plate that even double parked in front of an empty spot! Can you fucking believe that? People would usually respond to that with constant honkings to the double-parking asshole that would never come, me, I’d simply key his shit and go for a cup of tea (Oh yeah I key people’s shit all the time).


Few of the many habits of the middle state drivers. Can’t possibly list them all. They’re probably the ones that made up stories like how Penang drivers are the suckiest of the bunch, perhaps to make up the they time they lost in traffic everyday in the middle states, and salvage what is left of their self esteem.

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March 3, 2015

computing power for retarded cause

Everyone must have read the trivia about how smartphones today have a few x’s computing power than those they used to send some rockets to the goddamn moon, or some shit like that.

Aaaaaand… with so much computing power on our hands (literally), we could have invented teleportation or discovered a cure for bigfoot… but, no. What do we do with them? Fucking selfies. Just like that girl I saw in Sushi King.

She must be about 15 years young, was there with a mom and a little turd whom I presumed must be her brother. I started to notice her by accident, because I thought she was smiling at me through my peripheral vision and thought she wanted the D (a twisted assumption, but it was unintentional). But it turned out that she was actually looking at her phone and doing some retarded selfies.

Her mom and bro were whacking away the food, but she’d continue to camwhore with several hundreds of angles of different impressions of brain damage effects through her whorish facial expression. She’d tilt her head, grimace with different surface area of teeth / no teeth showing, there was once she even flopped her hair down ala The Ring ghost, totally oblivious to anyone who’d gawk at her. When she was done with all that she had to do, she toggled back to the real world with her mom/bro, with an expression of a typically teenage annoyed-somebody-has-fucked-my-shit-sulky-look – and that was her real face. I was peeking at her bizarre shit antics and was secretly hoping that her hair would get caught on the moving Sushi King conveyor belt and scalped her bald or something. I’d have then sailed across the aisle to lend a helping kick by administering a few stomps to her face.

I couldn’t help but felt bad for her mom or bro, but I could see that they were too indifferent to give any crap about her, and they chose mind the food instead, as if there’s nothing wrong with her or she’s not fucking there. Come think of it, they’re probably inured to everything there is about her, just like how people chose to turn a blind eye to the fact that their pet dogs eat their own excrement and pretend that they’re clean animals, out of sheer love.

And I then looked at my young daughter… what’d I do if she turns to be like that? I’d still love her unconditionally, no shit. I’d definitely be embarrassed, and there’s not a single shit I can do about to prevent that, but to only hope that this senseless fad will die soon, just like those thick shoulder pads of the 80’s and green faded tattoo eyebrows of the 90’s… (and the society will move on to something less fucked up).

michaelooi  | what I saw  | Comments Off
February 6, 2015


It is a known fact that Penang bears this reputation as a ‘food paradise’, known for its vast variety of unique food options sold at economic price. That’s why we have so many people from all over the country (and foreigners as well) hunting for food here. Over the years, these stall business owners (or commonly known as ‘hawkers’) prospered in Penang, especially with the advent of social networking sites like Facebook which give them free publicity over the click of a button. These hawkers, spoiled by the windfall and all the fame/attention, started to get cocky, and that’s what I wanna talk about today.

You see, when we wage earners work, we are all fucking bound by this tacit code of conduct – to be professional in your line of work. Doesn’t matter what you are. Chances are, if you have a sloppy attitude, you’re more likely to get reprimanded by your boss and lose that much out in your bid to survive. In modern times like this, where everything in the market is so goddamn saturated, having a good / professional attitude goes a long way in any line of career. You know what I’m talking about. It’s a cruel world, only the bests win.

But not these fucked up hawkers, because of you people. You see, shit used to be good here. But not anymore. You know why? Because they’re not bound by these rules of survival anymore because of all the unfair attention. Hell, they’d get business all around the year anyway, why should they be courteous to every customer they see? I’ve encountered shitloads of such hawkers in Penang. Rude and cocky to the very bone. One of the most popular treatment they give, is to ignore the patron when an order is made. Then the patron will have to repeat again and again to ensure the order gets acknowledged (which literally looks like one is begging for food from that hawker), and more often than not, the patron ends up getting yelled at for being such an annoyance for repeating too many times. One of the many things they’d do, I’m sure there are worse.

Ask yourself, why would you patronize such an outlet/hawker stall? My plead to you guys is, please, walk away if you see such a hawker. There is no food good enough in this world that makes it worth to get a shitty treatment like this. Have some self esteem, don’t stoop to their level and feed their ass off this bullshit. Remember that. For me, when I encounter such a shitbag hawker, I’ll just tell them to “Forget it, I’ll fucking go to another stall”, and I’ll write something nasty about it in Foursquare. When enough of you people do something like this, I’m sure it’ll make a difference, and these cocky, rude, son of a bitch hawkers will learn the lesson of humility and shit will literally get better. Give the business to those who deserve it (there are some great hawkers out there with less famous but better food/treatment – you just have to look). And this – of course – applies not only to Penang. Can be any-fucking-where.

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