January 13, 2016

brag

I’ve been helping a friend to hook up some jobs when I learned about the news of him getting laid off.
I managed to score him a couple of opportunities for interviews, one which he turned down (salary mismatch) and the other he chickened out.

Then came another, it was an invitation for a walk-in interview from Jobstreet, opening at my previous workplace Company Y, not a very promising prospect but was an opportunity nevertheless. So, naturally, the first thing that came into my mind was to share the info with this friend of mine…

And that was when I learned that he had already found a job… and so I congratulated him… and then something happened… Here’s the msg exchange screenshot:

Did you see that? Switzerland. It felt really weird that he made the effort to mention about his business travel. How was that relevant to anything we were discussing? I didn’t know what to respond so, I left the conversation as it was. And then 10 mins later, in came another msg:

I didn’t see that coming. Has got to be the most desperate attention seeking attempt I’ve seen in a while. What are we, 6 year olds? Things that people do to get some attention. Pffft.

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January 11, 2016

at your age??

I was in a pharmacy to quick grab something the other day, and was stuck in a queue at the cashier behind this middle aged woman (in her early or mid 50’s) in an office attire. She could have passed to most of us as the ‘lady boss look’, you know… bunned-up hair, light makeup, drab looking handbag. A typical finance manager kind of look, if you would like to imagine that.

Nothing off about her, except the stuff she was buying. She was holding a few packs of condoms, and a large bottle of Durex gel based lube (well, judging from her age, she must be as dry as a bucket of sand…). She nonchalantly dropped the merchandise on the counter, and asked the cashier if there are further discounts for bigger bulk purchase. The first thing that came to my mind was “What the hell?? At her age??”. No I wasn’t being judgmental or anything, but that’s just a thought that came out of reflex.

Anyway, fast forward a few weeks later, I went back to this same pharmacy again and this time, with my wife. My wife wanted to buy an ovulation kit for one of her colleagues, and I was there to accompany her. An ovulation kit is basically like the pregnancy checking stick, only that it checks for ovulation instead of pregnancy. Main purpose is to determine when’s the best time to have sex to conceive a baby (whereas a pregnancy kit serves no purpose except to deliver the good/bad news).

Naturally, like all other times when we were purchasing stuff, I had to be the one to queue up to pay for the merchandise. Holding on a box of ovulation kit, with disheveled hair and flip flops, it was there and then I realized that someone in the queue (it was a younger lady) could be looking at me and think the very same thought I had about the middle aged lady finance manager that few weeks ago – “What the hell?? At his age??”.

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January 5, 2016

moronic drivers

Know how I spent my first Sunday in 2016? In the aftermath of this mess:

[source]
Two injured in eight-vehicle pile-up on NSE
IPOH: A 47-year-old woman and a 21-year-old man were injured in an eight-vehicle pile-up, which included an express bus, at the 263km mark of the North-South Expressway (NSE) on Sunday.

The woman suffered minor injuries on her hands, while the man had light injuries on his legs and face during the pile-up, which took place at 5.30pm on the southbound lane.

Six others escaped unscathed.

The vehicles involved were a Proton Exora, a Perodua Viva, a Suzuki Swift, a Proton Preve, a Naza Forte, two Perodua MyVis and a Scania bus.

Ipoh OCPD Asst Comm Sum Chang Keong said the Exora was headed from Grik to Kuala Lumpur when the driver slowed down due to traffic congestion in the area.

“The injured woman, who was travelling in her Perodua Viva behind the Exora, could not brake in time and hit the car in front of her.

“Following that, the Swift, Preve, Forte, one MyVi and the express bus collided into each other in sequence because they could not stop in time too,” he said.

ACP Sum also said the injured man in his MyVi had tried to swerve into the left lane to avoid hitting into the car in front of him.

“But he ended up ramming another MyVi on that lane,” he said.

No arrests were made, and the weather was good at the time of the incident, added ACP Sum.

2 hours’s worth of jam from the bend before the Menora tunnel all the way to almost Jelapang. That’s close 7 – 8 km of jam.

I was supposed to be on my way to Ipoh (from Penang), as my father in law was having an emergency at the hospital. He was eventually discharged with observation when I reached Ipoh. What a fucking bummer.

When I read that the accident involved cars like Exora, Viva or MyVi, I wasn’t really surprised because I saw fuckloads of those morons (in those model of cars) speeding like they’re mad near the hills around that tunnel.

Now, that area in the whole stretch of NSE, is infamous as the traffic ‘death zone’ (yeah, pretty much like the death zone past 8000 meters at Everest. Only that this is at much lower altitude and kills more people). Negotiating turns around the sharp bends there at high speed, especially when it’s downhill, is a recipe for disaster. Couple that with shitty cars like a Viva or Myvi (or even Exora), it’s like these people are begging to meet their makers sooner when they speed. (how do I know they sped? I saw the wreck, you numbnuts. They look like the Decepticons had them totaled. Low speed crash won’t total a car like that).

I have to say I am impressed that no one got killed in the accident. I reckoned that there would have been fatalities from the way the whole thing looked. Hope those morons take this new lease of life as an opportunity to be less of a nuisance to the community…

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December 17, 2015

2015 roll up

At the end of 2014, I made a vow for to do all kinds of things. I hate to break this out but, I must be drunk at that time. I don’t even remember what I wrote until today (I was writing in 3rd person, wtf). None of those shit happened. No I didn’t fork out anything to renovate the fucking house. No I didn’t enroll myself in an MBA program. No I didn’t get a bike, or got my shit together either. I didn’t do jack shit in 2015.

2015 is not entirely fucked up but, it sure hell is boring. The pace of life at Company T has been slow as fuck as well. In my ex-Company Y, I was THE SHIT, running 8 – 9 portfolios, had 50 over reports in a week, had round the clock meetings, 10-minute lunches (with on-off food poisoning), multiple concurrent projects and I had to deal with terrorists. Time passed in warp speed. In Company T? It’s like a 900% regression of what I did at Company Y. That’s like switching from a illegal V8 street drifting race to a college USB-powered drone cum science fair. My time management skill is hardly needed and I had to deal with a lot of whiny pussies instead. Life literally is moving in slow motion for me in 2015 and I fucking hated every second of it.

That is probably the reason why I recently have gone back to gaming. It is the only way I could get my mind off on how shitty the year has been. That and tonnes of TV series I’ve been watching. I’d probably go back to more writing, but I have to see on that. I’d been planning on a long vacation somewhere in June 2016, might make it a yearly ritual. But for now, I’m going to just waste the remnants of 2015 away with more gaming and hope for a better 2016.

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December 11, 2015

feminine

Company T installed some fancy ass toilet seats in the loo recently…

On the right side of the seat, rests this plastic bar with 2 knobs labeled “family” and “feminine”.

Here’s the picture of the knobs:

Looks like the control for a goddamn massage chair…

I’ve seen these from the internet before. Very popular in Japan. What those knobs essentially do is shoot a jet of water to clean your ass or something (to save the loo user the energy-sapping chore of having to use a bidet). This is a non-electronic version, but those in Japan are mostly electronic, which has better capability I guess… like maybe dispense some warm air to dry your nuts or pneumatic tampon removal…

For the clueless blokes in Company T, this novelty of a gadget seemed to have piqued their interest enough to make them inadvertently wet themselves and the floor (evidenced by the wet booths – you can actually see the water beads all in the pic above). That’s a mistake. The idea is, your ass needs to be on the seat, otherwise the water will simply shoot out of the bowl unobstructed thus wetting everything in its path.

Anyway, the curiosity got to me too. But I was smarter than them rats, I sat my bare ass down on that bowl and tested the damn knobs. So what was the difference between “family” and “feminine”? It is just the angle, boys… just the angle. The “family” rubs the rim, the “feminine” shoots higher pressure at it. I don’t know why but, I guess it must be a sexual thing. (girls like anal).

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