June 3, 2018

drama minggu ini

I was driving out of the apartment compound to fetch my daughter from school with my wife. I reached the apartment boom gate which I was required to scan an electronic card to lift the gate and exit. But right in front of the scanner, were these 2 old Indian farts with a small fallen palm tree from a neighbor’s compound. One of them was an holding a hooked saw, and the other was holding the fallen tree (they both looked alike, I think they’re twins or brothers or something).

Because they’re blocking the whole way and I could not pass (and they did not seem to know that I was there), I let out a short honk, to let them know that ‘I’m here’. You know, a short honk, like a friendly honk. But instead of acknowledging that positively, the guy holding the saw started to get agitated and reacted by waving the saw at me menacingly. I didn’t provoke him further so, I just waited in the car for them to finish whatever the fuck that they’re doing. Then they proceeded to talk to each other about something (still holding the tree/saw) – like there’s a family matter between them (bad alcohol debt perhaps?) and that was when my wife remarked,

“What the hell are those guys doing there talking in the middle of the road? Why can’t they just drag the tree to the side?”
“I don’t know what’s wrong with them. Typical Indians. They wanted to look important, I guess.”

(I’m not a racist, please. I’m a misanthrope. I hate every fucking one all the same. Not just one race. Believe me).

The guy holding the hooked saw, saw us talking about them (the gesture gave it away), and again, we waved his saw at us.. like it is forbidden for us to have an opinion about him. And finally, after a couple moment’s worth of delay (waiting for these 2 old farts talking to each other in the middle of the road), they finally dragged the tree to the side and let me pass. When I reached the scanner area, agitated saw guy was standing next to my passenger window and was mouthing something at us with a grim expression. I rolled down the window to hear him clearly, and he said

“Lu tak boleh tunggu ka??” (in an angry manner).
[translation: “Can’t you just wait??”]

I don’t know what the fuck was that guy’s problem so I waited for him to finish what he got to say.

“Kita potong pokok, kalau itu pokok jatuh kena kereta kamu, macam mana??” (in an angry manner)
[translation: “We’re cutting down a tree. How would you like the tree to land on your car??”]

Fucking Indian antics again, being dramatic and all. One, the tree was already cut down and on the ground. He was full of shit there. Two, I did wait in the car, didn’t I? So why was he so damn pissed off about me waiting? Three, it was a fucking small palm tree, no bigger than a motorcycle. The guy was dragging it with 1 of his puny hands, that’s how small it was. I had to yell back at him for being such a bitch:

“Apasal lu marah-marah?? Saya tak marah lu marah apa?? Ambik pokok ke tepi lah!”
[translation: “Why are you so pissed off?? I should be the one who is pissed off! Just drag the tree to the side!”]

And my wife yelled at him as well “You mia pokok sudah potong lah!”
[translation: “You’ve already cut the tree!”]

He was taken aback. He probably thought we’re the kind of couple who’d let him castigate willingly because we’re supposed to be afraid of him. He tried to yell back but I wasn’t listening. I was prepared for a confrontation if he uses the saw on my car but eventually, he took a step back and walked the fuck away.

I really do not know why people like to complicate matters. All these could have been avoided and unnecessary. I get agitated easily too, yes, but this is a whole new level of hot headedness. Maybe it was the short honk that triggered him. Maybe that was the last thing he heard in his past life as a dog when a vehicle mowed him down into pieces, I don’t know. But as a grown up old fart, the guy could’ve been handled this way more calmly (I don’t expect professionalism), and amicably.

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May 13, 2018

Malaysian politicians are morons – 3

So now we have the new government. As expected, some in-fighting already started before they even had time to clean up the streets of those banners and posters. That’s because, like it or not, most of these people who are forming this new Malaysian government… are amateurs. Most do not have the experience to run a country so, time is needed for them to break-in. Shit’s going to get much harder.

But even before it begins, this Rafizi Ramli guy (the PKR vice president) made a press statement yesterday to bitch about PKR not ‘being consulted’ to appoint the top 3 ministerial positions in the new cabinet. That was when shit hits the fan. People were pissed off because because it was deemed ungrateful (indeed) of him to do things like that to undermine the leadership. I was pissed too, like, can’t this idiot air his discontentment internally? Why go to the press? Imagine that if you do not like the dish your mom cooked for you, first thing you do is to go to the newspaper to castigate your own mom?? Doesn’t make a lot of sense I know.

And then there’s this idiot oxygen waster called Wong Chen, who is Rafizi’s BFF of some sorts, also a big winner of Subang Jaya’s parliament seat P104, came out with this idiotic post to defend Rafizi’s action in his Facebook – which made me even more pissed. Check out what that asswipe had to write:

[Source]
The matter is simple. PKR has 47 + 1 MPs. DAP has 42. Bersatu has 13. Amanah has 11. Note also that Sarawak BN MPs are now exploring to join Pakatan. Expectations and anxieties are high that many UMNO MPs will jump to Bersatu in the coming days.

The PM and Deputy PM positions were agreed earlier by Harapan before the elections. So the announcement of the next few senior ministers was to be made today by consensus of all parties. At 4 pm, Dr.Mahathir appointed the 3 new ministers in the presence Bersatu, DAP and Amanah. These 3 posts are the most powerful in the country. Finance went to DAP. Home ministry which controls the police goes to Bersatu. Defence which controls the army for Amanah.

Nothing yet for PKR, the single largest party in Pakatan? So what did Rafizi do that is so wrong in the eyes of the public? He is telling truth to power that these appointments were made without PKR consent. Then he tells us that Dr.Mahathir will see Anwar in hospital to consult Anwar and hopefully they can discuss and rectify the issue.

Rafizi does not want to see the new govt under Dr. Mahathir to start on the wrong footing and as such he dared to tegur Dr. Mahathir’s announcement. And for this he is villified by most of you.

It is precisely this unhealthy attitude of Malaysians never to question authority, that is the main reason why we allowed Rosmah and Najib to rule us for 9 years.

Rafizi worked tirelessly for 2 years with INVOKE to bring about meaningful change. I am proud to be his friend and will continue to support Rafizi in his quest to create a two party system for Malaysia.

The sentence that ticked me off was this : “It is precisely this unhealthy attitude of Malaysians never to question authority, that is the main reason why we allowed Rosmah and Najib to rule us for 9 years.”

The gall he had for saying we were ruled by assholes because of our ‘unhealthy attitude’! What the fuck! Does he even know how democracy works, that cibai!?

FUCK YOU WONG CHEN! FUCK YOU AND RAFIZI RAMLI AND YOUR DOG!

I have to say this, that when we voted, we voted for PH, not any specific person or his creed. The reason was simple, everyone wanted the tyrannical government out – because we weren’t exactly thrilled with their shitty policies, corruption and arrogance that had put our country in the backseat in terms of reputation for decades. Had anyone put a rabid dog in place of the (then) opposition party against BN, we’d have voted for that damn dog all the same and won the election. And now this guy suddenly is so full of shit and put himself on the high ground to condemn us! FUCK!

And now it’s disheartening to learn that PH still has a long way to make this right. They already disappoint big time before assuming office. GODDAMN!

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May 6, 2018

the teenage girl at the cinema

…is a bitch.

How so? I was watching The Avengers Infinity War at the cinema with my family, when I noticed flashing lights coming from my right. At first I thought someone was taking a goddamn selfie inside the fucking cinema when the movie was showing, but it didn’t seem so because I know a camera flash only flashes once, and it illuminates the person’s face. But this was outwards, and it gave a 3 – 4 quick flashes, just like a goddamn plane’s beacon. It was annoying as fuck.

I tried to peer over to the side to see who the fuck was doing that but, alas, I could not see shit because it was as dark as fuck. And this went on throughout the duration of the movie and I swear I was at the verge of charging over to that direction and be prepared to give the perpetrator a concussion with my knee or something (perhaps hoping at the same time that the person isn’t as big as Thanos). But almost at the 4th quarter of the movie (that was when Thanos was about to teleport to Earth and fuck things up real bad), I heard an irate guy voice bellowing “CAN YOU STOP PLAYING WITH YOUR PHONE!?”.

…It was only then I found out that it was a teenager bitch who had one of those stupid phone case that blinks like mad whenever there’s a notification or something, and the teenager bitch couldn’t stop looking at her goddamn phone and reply the messages from her retarded friends. Though that confrontation should have gone way earlier and more hostile (something like “IF YOU DON’T KEEP YOUR GODDAMN PHONE NOW I’M GOING TO SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS!”), but it did the job. The blinking stopped.

According to my wife (who sat next to the bitch’s parents), she was already told many times by her own parents to keep the phone because the blinking was too annoying. But she didn’t care until some dude yelled at her. Fucking parents couldn’t do jack shit about their daughter’s insolence. Goddamn cibai. If it’s my daughter, I’d have tossed her phone into the sea for being such a bitch.

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May 1, 2018

Japan – Kyoto / Kawaguchiko / Tokyo

I know this is a long overdue post, but I finally managed to get over my laziness and muster some effort to write about the Japan trip. So what do I think about Japan?

Hits (like):
Kyoto : All my best days in my Japan trip were spent at Kyoto. Mix of city and traditional Japanese landmarks, if you have to choose a week to spend at either Tokyo or Kyoto, go for Kyoto. All the listed places in my itinerary are awesome, but especially worth mentioning would be that Kiyomizu-dera Temple and Nijo-jo castle. Both places are fucking amazing and mind blowing. It is said that Kyoto has shit tonnes of temples so, what I experienced here might be just the tip of what’s more awesome. If I get to choose again, I’d cut out Tokyo to spend more time at Kyoto.

Kawaguchiko : Kawaguchiko (a lake side town) is a great place with killer views too. I was here for Mt Fuji, as it was my lifelong dream of witnessing Mt Fuji from the base with my own eyes (when I saw it from the plane back in year 2000 while en-route to USA). Most people opt for a day trip here, but don’t be like them hippies. Put 2 – 3 days here to roam around, it’s worth the time. There are plenty of places to hike in the vicinity of this town, and they’re mostly outdoor. But there’s also a roller coaster theme park here if that’s your kind of shit (those coasters look quite intense) but this is even more awesome because at every dip and scream, you get to see the majestic Mt Fuji laughing at your ass for being such a pussy. Mt Fuji is just so surreal. (our hotel was just right next to the theme park and full view of Mt Fuji)

Disney Resort at Tokyo : I’m not a fan of Disneyland but I had a blast this round at Tokyo Disney Resort (combination of 2 theme parks – Disneyland and DisneySea). With proper planning this time round and also the blessing for having a very organized crowd, we managed to hit 18 rides in Disneyland and 15 in DisneySea. We spent a total of 13 hours at each park, from dawn till dark. Sure the tickets were expensive but it was well worth spending than at a shittier Tokyo city (which you should give a miss).

Nakamise Dori 仲見世 and Senso-ji Temple 浅草寺 at Tokyo : Both located at the same area. Nakamise Dori is a shopping street teeming with souvenir stores, food stalls and art stands. Starts at Kaminari-Mon, which is a big ass gate, ends at the Senso-Ji Temple – all in 1 stretch of happening road. It reminded me very much of a night market in Taiwan, only that it is much smaller in size and is throughout the entire day. What’s most important is, it doesn’t cost a thing to enter the place and the temple.

Payment machines around Japan : I’m a big fan of its payment machines. You know, you enter the restaurant, instead of having a server waiting for you to check out the menu, you do that at the side before entering the restaurant, make up your damn mind, place the order at the vending machine and the machine spits out your order coupon, then you go get a seat. Server gets the coupon, and you get served. How about that? Very organized and there’s no need for communication (unless necessary at all). It resolves the problem of getting the wrong order and waiters songlap-ing the $$ from cash register.

Misses (dislike):
Tokyo in general : Tokyo in general is a shithole. It’s overcrowded as fuck and if you’re unfortunate enough to hit the public transportation at the peak hour, you’re in for a nightmare. If you’ve seen videos of platform workers stuffing commuters into a jam packed train like sardines, yes it’s all real and I’ve experienced it myself. It was a fucking insane experience. Transportation is also expensive in Tokyo (albeit well established), most of its day-passes are very limited and simply does not worth the value unless one goes to shitloads of places within the same day. I allocated 1 week for Tokyo. Bad call. Tokyo at most, only needs 4 days. 2 of them at Disney Resort (only if one has not been to a Disney theme park). I’d have cut out Tokyo if it wasn’t for Disney (for my daughter).

Entry fees for almost all the places of interests :A lot of the temples require entrance fees or cover charge, and if you’re planning to visit shitloads of them, they could add up. While I understand the need to maintain these places, I can’t fathom why these places can’t be funded through other means? Like sales of trinkets or through donations (oh they have that as well). It makes me feel that visiting Japan is all about money. In Penang, none of our temples inside the UNESCO area require entrance fees. Those POIs that require fees, are usually cheap and they give you a bang for the buck, not like a small parch of shitty rock garden or something like that.

Bus driver duties : Japanese bus driver was equipped with a microphone, and for some fucking strange reasons, he was required to talk to his bus commuters like he’s a DJ or something. Like when there’s an interesting area that he drives past, he’ll go “Hey guys that’s where my friend Tamaukasi lives, he’s still a virgin with a lot of doll pillows” in Japanese. Or maybe something like “This is the last stop guys, better get off the bus if you do not want a wasabi root shoved up your ass”. Gets fucking annoying after a couple of turns.

No hablo ingles : The general Japanese public do not speak English. This is especially inconvenient if you’re in a restaurant with no English menu. Online apps with the camera translation aren’t helping either. Their flawed engine would translate a dish to something like “chicken tits motorbike winter”, or something worse. So most of the time, we’re reduced to sign language. There’s a time when my wife had to sign to the Jap chick at a convenient store to buy ‘menstrual pills’, but somehow it got translated to cigars (for some reason, my wife didn’t think of using Google translate FROM English to Jap writings).

Neutral (meh…) :
The Japanese people : The Japanese people aren’t as polite/friendly as everyone says (overrated). Well, not the way I like it, I should say. They’re not generally rude, you have to give them that. The only rude encounter I had was at the immigration. The overall Japanese society is apathetic to everyone. They don’t give a fuck about anything, unless they have to… which then they’ll be polite about it. They’re obliged to sound/act polite and it’s very rote. It felt fake, and there’s no feel of sincerity to it. Most of the time, it made me feel uneasy. Fake smile, fake bow, fuck me. I prefer them to be rude but sincere than a fake courtesy. If you want genuine politeness and courtesy, you should check out the Taiwanese. My favorite people on Earth. However, I also have to say that the streets in and around Tokyo/Kyoto/Kawaguchiko look very secure and feels very safe. I haven’t seen any loiterers or vagabonds or people peeing on the streets like what I saw at USA/Germany/Indonesia/China/Malaysia.

Food : I have always liked Japanese food. I don’t know if this is just me but, with the exception of that fantastic Houtou noodles at Kawaguchiko, and some expensive sushi at Tsukiji, the general Japanese food at Japan isn’t any better than the Japanese food at Penang like many said it is. There are good ones in Malaysia that are even better than those at Japan, true story. So, that sort of failed to justify the pricey food there… My wife and daughter are of the same opinion.

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April 17, 2018

coincidence

If you’ve been following this blog, you’d know that my mom took her own life after battling a bout of depression a few years ago. She did a lot of planning to take her own life, right to the details on how she wanted her funeral to be handled and the location of the receipt for the niche to put her ash. I had to go through her suicide notes, and the most difficult thing that I had to contend, was to learn that she’d been planning for her death all the while being normal to us and I was unknowingly appointed to handle the aftermath of her death. (she did say sorry to me in her notes for that).

One of the things that I had to do (that wasn’t part of the note), was to dispose of the car she died in. It was parked at that very location for many days, way after her funeral. I was the one who bought the car for her, and drove it back from Perak from the used car dealer. Wasn’t a great car but, was practical. The morning that my mom disappeared, we were toiling in worry to search for this car, and none of us found it until the gardener noticed it hidden in a basement with the engine running and inside it, my mom’s body. The car was in a mess when we got back to it after the funeral. Its interior was filled with the odor of gas fumes and it had broken glass in its interior (rescuers had to break the window to get to my mom). Out of obligation, one of my mom’s brothers offered to sell off the car for us, so he drove it off to a used car dealer somewhere and was disposed of for an insignificant sum of money. Out of grief, I did not feel like taking the money so, I donated all of it to a charity organization. I never saw that car again after signing the documents at the used car dealer that day.

Fast forward 7 years later, about a few weeks ago… this car made an appearance right in front of our apartment’s guard house. My wife Emily was the first to notice it, and she alerted me. “Dear, I saw your mom’s car outside our apartment! How did it end up back here?”
“That’s just a sheer coincidence”

It made a few more appearances outside our apartment compound, and was no longer seen again… until a week ago, it was parked at a parking lot right across my car. Apparently, the person who had bought the car that my mom died in 7 years ago, moved to the apartment unit at our ground floor, which has a parking lot right across my parking space. What are the odds of that happening? So many people in Penang and so many apartments to move to, and it ended up right across where I can see it all the time. And now, I get a grim reminder of how my mom looked like when she was in her rigor mortis state whenever I get home from work every day… I just hope my mom won’t appear in it and flag me over to have a chat… Because that’s just wrong, that car is no longer hers, goddamn it.

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