Archive for the ‘work shit’ Category

August 15, 2003

going off

I have been struggling today – struggling to get all my work done as much as possible before I head for my holidays. That’s right. I won’t be coming to work for the entire next week. Been waiting for this time of the year – vacation !

My struggle was made worst when Dickhead (one of our managers) organized a lunch meeting to talk about our past quarter’s achievements. I could have used the meeting time to clear off my workload and make use of my extra time to blog or something.

The meeting was boring and the lunch was awful. I was expecting a pizza or something like that. But this guy actually ordered white rice with prawns! I mean … we’re attending a meeting here without proper a table, how the fuck in the world are we going to eat those prawns? Imagine, one hand holding the ceramic plate of rice and another holding a spoon. I usually eat prawns with my bare hands and due to his fucking brilliant plan, I had to swallow the whole prawn with its shells. I swear… this would be the final time I’m attending a meeting by Dickhead. At least I know that he has a bad taste for food.

I finished all my stuffs approximately 3.30 pm and managed to reserve enough time for me to clean up my table, prepare my out-of-office reply notes, and call up my colleagues to follow up my stuffs. I’m feeling real good today working my ass off, knowing that I won’t have to see Rob’s fucking face for the next 10 days or so.

I hope he gets into a lot of trouble during my absence. Like screwing up big time and got his ass fired or something. Oh, or maybe got himself in jail – that’ll be cool. When I return, I would be so happy to learn about his departure to hell. And probably get myself a new sexy female boss, I’ll be so goddamn motivated to work!
*cackles like a hyena

I’m leaving earlier today – got a few appointments tonight.

michaelooi  | work shit  | Comments Off
August 14, 2003

evidence from the past

I’m starting to receive the parts I have been waiting for. Defective computer parts returned from customers.

And I found something very wrong about today’s batch. Most of the parts, were badly damaged, mind me… not defective, but badly damaged. Pry marks, cracked surface, food residue, etc etc. I wonder what actually fueled their angst to abuse their own computers like that. If I’m not mistaken, we ship most of our computers to office users… or at least some literate human beings. But by looking at the parts, it seems more like we’re selling our products to some cro-magnons.

I mean, we humans had spent so much money digging up our wild ancestors just to study how they behave in the past & how they looked like. Well, I think that’s a sheer waste of time. We already have all the pointers around us. If they wanted to know how a cro-magnon behaves, just take a look at our abusive customers here. Do some simple investigations, why are they abusing our computers?
Or they could have studied those cases of domestic violence against housewives by alcoholic husbands. Or the way our local rambos debating who to blame in an automobile accident. You’re seeing a modern version of our caveman instincts here.

Want to know how a cro-magnon looked like? Look at my friend Doug. He had the same protruding eye socket and flat forehead. Sometimes, when he cusses at his boss 3K, you can see the beast behind that pair of vengeful eyes. Take out his clothes & replace them with animal hides, and I bet the scientists would be awe-struck to see an uncanny resemblance. They would save millions, and pay Doug a fortune to have him scanned, studied, probed. Or cheaper still, they could have given him free cendols for a lifetime – he would have consented without much persuasion. Friends included. We can have free cendols when hang out with him. Cool heheh.

I have to analyze these caveman leftovers and complete them before the weekend – as I will be vacationing at Hong Kong.

michaelooi  | work shit  | Comments Off
August 6, 2003

travel

I received a schedule from my senior today – my travel for the month of Sept & Oct. Scary. I’ll have to travel to Singapore 3 times every 2 weeks, a week’s duration for every travel. And since my company doesn’t pay our allowances upfront for our travel expenses, we’ll have to swipe our cards to be able to survive there… and then, to claim them expenses back 2 weeks later when we return.

What’s with all the Singapore trips? Well… there is this project that requires us engineers to make proactive visits to customers and educate them the necessary fundamentals of computers. Sometimes, to even fix their problems. Sort of like a car service guy… but the difference is… the products are different, and a car service guy doesn’t visit your miserable ass. I think I’m going to be very broke in the month of Sept & Oct, I guess no more clubbing for me…

Nothing special happened today – except for my amok incident in the office this morning. This time, a very unlucky Taiwanese supplier was the victim, got blasted with my breath of fire for delaying my reports. I will give that fucker another 3 days to come up with what I want, else, I’m gonna get his ass fried.

Right after that incident… my cube partner told me “You will have a very good prospect becoming a loan shark…” BLAAASSST… my breath of fire struck its second target. Perhaps he should know, a shark doesn’t breathe fire.

michaelooi  | work shit  | Comments Off
July 7, 2003

caught !

Was approached by the big boss (no no .. not Rob … this is Rob’s boss) caught on to me while I was about to do some presentation in a meeting,

BigBoss : “Hey mike! when are u going to attend the departmental team building? You’ve been working here for so many years but I haven’t seen you before in any of our teambuilding before… ”

Me : “Errm … ok … I’ll make it on February…”

BigBoss : “Which year? Trying to trick me again eh?”

Me : “Alright boss … the next one…”

BigBoss : “No… you are to organize one. This is your next assignment. I bet you don’t even know what the word ‘TEAM’ stands for…”

Me : “TEAM stands for Together Everyone Asks Money… from you… boss… heheh…”

The whole meeting room then laughed at BigBoss ….

BigBoss : “Hey!”

Me : “Calm down boss … I’m just kidding. I’ll do it. You have my word.”

I’m thinking of using the teambuilding budget to organize a kick ass buffet. I bet that’ll be way more fun than running around like overgrown dorks!

michaelooi  | work shit  | Comments Off