Archive for the ‘what I saw’ Category

January 12, 2019

douchebag fashion nowadays

You know, Company T employs a lot of fresh graduates almost every month. That’s why, I get to see the latest fashion senses (…like… in a super regular basis) when these young aspiring engineers show up for work at the beginning of the month. I don’t have to go to a college or a mall, I can see it all happening in my workplace, Company T. It’s like watching a slasher plot unfolding perpetually, one serial serial killer after another.

One of the most revolting sense of fashion I’ve noticed lately, is ‘short pants’. Not like the shortpants short pants but, a pair of long pants that are deliberately cut short (or made short? undersized?), just like the picture you see on the left. And I can see like, almost 50% of these douchebags wear these kind of stupid pants. No socks (socks sales must have fucking gone down lately, I bet). One of my old schoolmate once called this ‘The Michael Jackson pants’ – which if you noticed, was the kind of pants that Mike would wear when he danced. But he did that with white socks, reason being was, he wanted people to focus on his feet when he was dancing. But these young douchebags? They wear it without socks. Maybe this is one of the androgynous K-pop fashion thing that I might not know…

OK, a few problems with this Michael Jackson pants with no socks at work. First of all, they sure as hell aren’t dancing at work, so I have no idea why would they want anyone to notice their feet. Secondly, the ‘no socks’ policy is fucking disgusting. People wear socks to absorb the feet sweat to keep their feet dry. When your feet are dry, you don’t get as much bacteria breeding under your feet, therefore, reducing the stink (that’s why you need to keep your socks dry too, and change them regularly). This is like trying to regress from being civilized. You guys fucking heard of ‘Athlete’s feet’? Well, contrary from what the name suggested, it’s not a desired state where you have muscular lean feet like an athlete’s, but a kind of fungal infection when you do not wear socks and your feet would literally turn into zombies (go Google it already, you imbeciles!).

I asked my wife Emily about it, just in case if this is me being old and shit,
“Hey you noticed that young guys nowadays like to wear those Michael Jackson pants with no socks? You find that revolting?”
“Yeah I know. I have someone in my workplace wearing like that. Young guy. It’s weird”

For the record, we’re in our early 40’s so, I don’t know if you young chicks find that attractive but, we definitely don’t. I swear on my feet that if I ever get a young guy wearing like that in my team at work, I’mma fucking help to accelerate his goal of getting ‘Athlete’s feet’ by loading him with more labor intensive work and sweat it out through his feet. Mark my words.

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October 12, 2016

I saw this fugly car today

I saw this fugly car today…

fugly car

I wonder what the fuck are those 2 holes for, a mobile mammogram machine to check fake titties for impure silicone?

My guess it’s a fake jet thruster to fool kids to believe that this rectangular piece of shit is quicker than it looks.

What a goddamn ugly car. Why would anyone make an already ugly enough car into an uglier car. Beats me.

I’m going to fucking key this shit if I see it parked anywhere near me.

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April 22, 2015

dilated pupils

I was at Nando’s the other day for lunch with my colleagues. That particular outlet, has this one weird shit layout where tables are conjoined and partitioned with a really small divider. So you’re practically seating at the same table with some strangers.

That day, I happened to be the guy seated next to that divider, and I could see that the company next to our table was a bunch of schoolgirls no older than 17 years old. The one closest to me I noticed, was this seemingly fair girl with a short hair. She kinda gave me a good vibe, because she was wearing something decent, and her hair was not dyed shit brown or something. That, in my book of decency, enough to be ranked as an OK level. But that was until I saw her eyes. Her pupils were dilated like she’s fucked up, and it was really disturbing.

Then I looked at the rest of her friends, they all had these similar dilated pupils that made them look like the bunch of vampires from ’30 days of night’. Just what the fuck’s going on!? Well, the answer (I later found out) is ‘contact lenses’. Apparently, it is a fad nowadays to wear ‘dilated pupils contact lenses’. One of my niece had those too (as I later noticed), and I have stopped making eye contact with her ever since.

I don’t understand, why would anyone regard dilated pupils as attractive? Dilated pupils are often associated with people having disease or high on drugs. And how is that going to help them gain a mating partner? Oh that’s right, they’re trying to attract equally fucked up hairless pussies that look like Justin Bieber nowadays. Maybe that’ll work if that’s the kind they wanted to attract. Maybe those scrawny Bieber wannabes like girls with dilated pupils (a sign that they’re drugged and therefore an easy score? Makes sense…) and that’s their mating ritual which we normal folks won’t understand.

I had the most uneasy lunch at Nando’s that day.

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March 3, 2015

computing power for retarded cause

Everyone must have read the trivia about how smartphones today have a few x’s computing power than those they used to send some rockets to the goddamn moon, or some shit like that.

Aaaaaand… with so much computing power on our hands (literally), we could have invented teleportation or discovered a cure for bigfoot… but, no. What do we do with them? Fucking selfies. Just like that girl I saw in Sushi King.

She must be about 15 years young, was there with a mom and a little turd whom I presumed must be her brother. I started to notice her by accident, because I thought she was smiling at me through my peripheral vision and thought she wanted the D (a twisted assumption, but it was unintentional). But it turned out that she was actually looking at her phone and doing some retarded selfies.

Her mom and bro were whacking away the food, but she’d continue to camwhore with several hundreds of angles of different impressions of brain damage effects through her whorish facial expression. She’d tilt her head, grimace with different surface area of teeth / no teeth showing, there was once she even flopped her hair down ala The Ring ghost, totally oblivious to anyone who’d gawk at her. When she was done with all that she had to do, she toggled back to the real world with her mom/bro, with an expression of a typically teenage annoyed-somebody-has-fucked-my-shit-sulky-look – and that was her real face. I was peeking at her bizarre shit antics and was secretly hoping that her hair would get caught on the moving Sushi King conveyor belt and scalped her bald or something. I’d have then sailed across the aisle to lend a helping kick by administering a few stomps to her face.

I couldn’t help but felt bad for her mom or bro, but I could see that they were too indifferent to give any crap about her, and they chose mind the food instead, as if there’s nothing wrong with her or she’s not fucking there. Come think of it, they’re probably inured to everything there is about her, just like how people chose to turn a blind eye to the fact that their pet dogs eat their own excrement and pretend that they’re clean animals, out of sheer love.

And I then looked at my young daughter… what’d I do if she turns to be like that? I’d still love her unconditionally, no shit. I’d definitely be embarrassed, and there’s not a single shit I can do about to prevent that, but to only hope that this senseless fad will die soon, just like those thick shoulder pads of the 80’s and green faded tattoo eyebrows of the 90’s… (and the society will move on to something less fucked up).

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December 22, 2014

to the last privileged generation

We were visiting the aquarium at Ocean Park Hong Kong, and in the building, was this big area with a large glass screen overseeing an underwater view of the grand aquarium. In the grand aquarium, were shitloads of fishes of various sizes… and in the viewing area, shitloads of tourists of different nationalities (and sizes).

Amongst the crowd, one petite old Chinese lady stood out and was as excited as a 6 year old child in a toy store. What prompted me to notice her, was when she was standing right next to me and pointing at a seemingly ugly crustacean semi-hiding behind a fake rock, and she exclaimed excitedly in her heavily accented Mandarin “Hey! That’s the bugger we ate last time during the trip to XXXX!” (XXXX because I didn’t get the place). From what I reckoned, the lady must be in her 80’s, with a visible slouch and a walking cane – one can tell that she has seen everything and nothing surprises her anymore. But yet on that day, she was as happy as a lark because she had finally seen her ‘food alive’.

She then went around the area pointing at each and every of the sea creatures (excitedly) and exclaimed almost the same repetitive sentence every time she did that – “Hey! I ate this before! And that before!” To my amusement, I estimated that excited old lady must have eaten about half of the creatures in the aquarium, including some of the endangered sharks and giant manta rays. And for those that she had not eaten before, she’d go something like “I bet this bugger here tastes great by steaming it with some ginger…”

But sadly that day, no one would go near this old lady, especially the group of younger housewives who were with her (her daughters? relatives?). They’d ignore/avoid her like a plague. Not sure if they’re just not interested (they’re more into elbowing people and take selfies perhaps), or were they just plain embarrassed about the old lady’s behavior. Anyway, the old lady would have none of those setbacks dampen her spirit, for she’d continue to rock on calling dibs to them fishes she’d eaten before (sung to the tune of “To All The Girls I’ve Loved Before”). My hats off to the old lady… maybe to the last of the generation that would eat everything till they’re endangered. We’d never get that privilege again…

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