Archive for the ‘thoughts’ Category

May 3, 2016

the world according to… me

The world according to… me

1) If my wife eats my food, I am entitled to order another one of it. And if my wife eats my second or subsequent serving, I am entitled to order another, and so forth.

2) If I ever ogled another girl in my wife’s presence, and I remarked some negative observations/comments about that girl to my wife, I’m automatically absolved of any sins committed there & then.

3) The dad is not obliged to attend birthday parties organized by the daughter’s stupid friends.

4) Sliced bread is not considered a full meal and can be eaten any time of the day.

5) If a person starts the answer to your question with “That’s a good question…”, it means he doesn’t know shit and is telling you he is attempting to convince you otherwise.

6) The Theory of Relativity applies to relationships as well – world gets smaller between me and the people I hate, and too damn big between me and the people I like.

7) A person who has the compelling need to brag about a friend or a relative who is rich/famous to boost his/her self esteem, is pathetic and deserves to be discriminated.

8) An ugly girl with a good personality is better than a pretty girl (with big tits) with fucked up attitude. Personality goes a long way.

9) Everyone’s an asshole behind a steering wheel on the road, unless proven otherwise by walking.

10) The number of relatives you have are directly proportional to the sins you’ve committed in your past life.

michaelooi  | thoughts  | Comments Off
March 25, 2016


I’m not sure if I have written this before, but this idea has lingered in my mind for a long time – why are headscarves adorning our Muslim ladies’ heads are so plain? I mean, are they prohibited to add some ‘corak-corak yang menarik’ (translated as ‘interesting patterns’) like some Spiderman covers or Pokemon or something like that? Or perhaps simply just some abstract shit?

I had a conversation with a Muslim colleague of mine the other day and confirmed that this is not common. Headscarves usually come in plain single colors and are supposed to be decent. Then I somehow told her that I’ve seen some fancy headscarves with Pikachu on it, which kinda surprised her shitless. I later gave it a thought and realized that I might have not seen those before, and it was probably all in my head… ingrained for so damn long that I couldn’t differentiate if it was a memory or just an innovative idea in my head.

So, why is that? If it’s about decency, how can Spiderman be not decent? If the ladies are allowed to wear makeup, what aren’t they allowed to have ‘corak-corak yang menarik’ on their headscarves?

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January 18, 2016

starving uni kids

Recently, there have been news about many Malaysian students starving at local universities, because they’re too poor to afford food. You can find shitloads of articles and sharings around the social medias, I’m sure you guys have come across those info.

To me, it is ridiculous to say one is ‘too poor to afford food’, especially when you’ve gone to the level of attempting to attain a tertiary education. If that’s really happening (starvation because of money problems), then it could only mean one thing – you’re too fucking lazy to live. (also being a whiny bitch)

You see, you get educated at the tertiary level to enhance your knowledge. And that’s suppose to increase your chances to land a job or a career of your choosing… so that you can, hopefully, making money while enjoying doing something you like and continue to live/buy food to survive (success is secondary, believe me). But it’s not a guarantee that completing your tertiary education means you’d even get a job. Most people end up doing things they didn’t study for and earn not enough for that. Bad news here is, if your expectations have been wrong, your degree is not a guarantee for you to get a job. It’s just a paper proof that you have studied for something – that’s where you draw the line (you use that knowledge to market yourself for a job).

So, in that attempt to gain that knowledge, you starve. It means, you have forgone the fundamental key of survival – that is, to source for food to survive – in your quest to get knowledge. In that case, what’s the point of gaining that knowledge or get that paper proof? What’s the use if you can’t even find food to survive? In the caveman days, you’d be long dead if you’re lazy. Why bother to study if you’re lazy or useless like this? Like I said, it’s ridiculous.

Back in my days, when I can’t afford to not work and study, I had to work full time and did my engineering part time. It was a time without internet, and I didn’t know there’s such thing as a study loan – because none of my parents completed tertiary education or knew shit. I didn’t go to uni because I didn’t get a credit for BeeEm because of an accident (long story), so I had to go for a part time study at private college, which was expensive and it had to be out from the pocket (silly me, could have taken a loan and skipped paying like my frieds $%^&*#). By doing a full time job and a part time study, I could afford enough money to pay for my semester fees (my parents paid partial, I paid the other half) to do my engineering.

And I never starved. I ate curry rice (white rice with shitloads of curry) with some okra beans for the first 2 years everyday when my wage was barely enough (400 bucks per month, no overtime), and my meals gradually improved when I changed to a higher paying job with shitloads of overtime halfway through the engineering (that was Company X). That was when I had to work from 7am to 7pm (with overtime in), and attended engineering classes from 7pm – 10pm every Mon, Wed, Fri. And I had to attend full day classes during the weekends. I did it with no loan, no starving and no bitching.

To top off with that, I scored 2 promotions and was already an associate engineer before I got my diploma. And I could afford to went on dates too. Went for a couple of vacations from my excessive overtime money as well. My life was tough but I still managed to pay rents with a little less sleep + hardwork (less sleep because I was addicted to gaming at the same time). It was taxing and tiring, no doubt, but hey… if you’re not prepared to work hard for it, then you already lost. Just like this bunch of starving whiny uni kids.

Go get a job and re-evaluate your priorities, you cheebyes…

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September 2, 2015


Many common things that we see every day, remind me of how moronic the world has become. Amongst them, diet soda. That’s carbonated soft drink with less or synthetic sugar that’s supposed to be healthier or something. We also have vege-burger – burgers made of soy or some shit like that. And then there’s decaffeinated coffee. Coffee without caffeine. Let’s not even talk about those indie stuff like alcohol-free beer… and many more.

Lately, there’s this thing called e-cigarette (or better known as, vape) that takes the whole moronic cake, all by itself. People now, so to say, have a healthier option of puffing a ‘cigarette’ – by vaping (puffing e-cigarette). Just like those stupid diet coke or decaf coffee or alcohol free beer. They have a healthier option of a bad thing. Can you fucking believe that? That’s dumber than an animal spa and all those diet shit combined. The main argument I’d always throw is – if health’s your main concern, why don’t you just fucking quit smoking altogether?? Oh that’s right, smoking makes one look cool. My bad.

I don’t entirely know how that fucking vape works, but it does have smoke… though not from an actual fire. It produces this fake synthetic smoke that smells like the kind of enigmatic techno-smog emitted from the smoke machine in discotheques back in the 90’s. It’s powered by a rechargeable battery, and it looks like a cross between a Tektronix oscilloscope active probe and a vibrator. Some look small/plain, some has LEDs on them (depending on models/makes) and some even have colored 7 segment display to pimp up the look (numbers indicating the douchebaggery level perhaps? LOL). The puffer just need to add a canister of ‘flavor’, like fruits… flowers… seafood… it’s pretty gay really (with added variable % of chemical nicotine, the addictive ingredient inside a typical cigarette) and puff away the fake smoke. People claim that it has like, 99% less harmful elements that a fucking cigarette has – hence the ‘healthier choice’. Depending on models, a vaping device can be expensive from a few hundred bucks to the price of a third world child’s kidney.

The thing is, this vape device doesn’t even look cool. I mean, come on, LEDs and shit? That’s stupid. Part of the charm of smoking, has always being able to flick the ash and litter the butts. The glowing hot ember of its burning tip, can be used to torch a house, or torture-burn a prisoner (depending on your cool angle). The lighter to light a cigarette can be an art as well (see Zippo, etc). Ask yourself, how many movies have featured the hero with an awesome flip lighter and an explosion afterwards? The form of the cigarette smoke wafting in the air is tranquil and almost poetic (not as thick and coarse as a vape smoke – which looks more like steam than smoke). Film noir wouldn’t look as fabulous without cigarettes. It has been sung in songs by modern bards, and drawn in masterpieces by skillful artists. It’s the tobacco, tar, nicotine and carcinogen that gives it the distinct character of badassery. You get banned from public places, you get cancer in your blackened lungs and your goddamn throat / halitosis mouth. But that’s part of the package and that’s what make it so special. (I’m a non-smoker and never was, but I totally get it).

Now why would anyone think that puffing on an electronically produced smoke would be any better, or for that matter, healthier, than a fucking cigarette? Escapes me. Either you’re a smoker (courting danger/risk, badass reputation, cancerous) or you’re not (dan lain-lain). If you’re a vaper, you’re just a poser. Fake. Wannabe. Hippy. Pussy. And you’re nothing.

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August 10, 2015

Bersih 4.0

When I read about those cro-magnons wanting to organize another round of Bersih (dubbed as Bersih 4.0), I immediately went “OH NOT THIS FUCKING SHIT AGAIN!!”. (If you do not know what is ‘Bersih’, it’s a coalition of non-governmental groups that is infamous of organizing rallies to seek for cleaner election in Malaysia, or something like that).

No I’m not a BN supporter. I’m just as neutral as fuck. I just opined that this whole bullshit is just a goddamn waste of time/resources. Not only it does not work, it’s outright bad for everything – the economy, the environment and it breeds hooliganism. Each time a Bersih ‘rally’ (it’s more like a demonstration without a solid cause) is organized, you get mounts of garbage, destruction of properties and injured people along its path. Tonnes of greenhouse gases will be released to the atmosphere from the crippling traffic and other directly/indirectly linked causes, reversing the shit you treehuggers tried to achieve by switching off your lights during Earth Hour by millions of folds. So in an ironic sense, Bersih does what it thinks by reforming the electoral system for a ‘cleaner election’ (which is still unproven), but it pollutes basically everything else there is in the country.

Sure enough, one can argue that this is an individual’s right to express him/herself. But Bersih is not it because it is illegal. If it were to be done inside a stadium or a large piece of field, it would have been given a green light for a conditional permit and everyone would go home an accomplished citizen by having given the opportunity to express him/herself to the gnats and ants on the open field. And depending on how morally inclined they are, they’d pick up the garbage after the event and garner a praise or two for being so ‘steady’. But fuck no, these people wanted to take to the streets for more attention. How is that alright by a civilized standard? To march and demonstrate on the streets without permit is dangerous and opens up possibilities for things to get out of control (and let’s not even talk about those imbeciles who bring their children to the rally). And when that happens, you get water cannon-ed, tear gassed and truncheoned like a bunch of animals by the FRU riot police (and I root for the FRU, because they’re there to upkeep the peace). Then you’d see these attention seeking Bersih 4.0 whores posting selfies about police brutality seeking for empathy when they shouldn’t have gone against the law to illegally partake in the Bersih rally in the first place (so much for the attention). Know this, when you deliberately break the law, you’re no different and is as despicable as those Mat Rempits wreaking havoc in the society. If you feel that you’ve missed your prerogative as a concerned citizen to do something you’re not happy about the current ruling government, you can choose to post a goddamn black picture as your profile photo on your Facebook page – it’ll have the same effect as Bersih – NOTHING BUT A HOKUM.

It is not a solution to the problem. The current government, as corrupted as many claim it is, has deep roots down to the bedrock. A Bersih rally or a few, won’t undo everything in a fortnight. It takes much more than Bersih rallies to cure the chronic problem. If the decadence has taken so long to evolve to what it is today, my bet is it’ll take an even longer time to evolve back to the positive direction. If a much shorter route is preferred, then a revolution is the only way – but that is a route filled with death and destruction like what we’ve read in the history of the human world. And I don’t think I’m ready to go that route. I’d prefer the longer way. I’d start by voting the people I think is good for the job (for now) and I’d educate my child well. I’d teach her about responsibilities, how to be a considerate person, how to uphold her moral values and how to help the weak. She’d be a learned person with ample education provided through my sacrifice, and with her knowledge, she’d play a role/part to uphold the world in her generation (if she’s good enough, hopefully, she’d be a leader and will have the power to influence). If everyone does the same thing, I believe we’d see a better governance in the country in a generation or two. Takes time, but we’d get there.

P/S: That anti-Bersih group is worse. Those cretins are one of the many reasons I don’t like the BN government.

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