Archive for the ‘thoughts’ Category

November 7, 2016

ghosts

Just watched that movie The Conjuring 2. While the movie’s quite good, one thing that grinds my gear about ghosts and haunting… is the low self esteem of the antagonist (the ghosts/demons). They wanted to be evil, but for some strange reasons, they always have to do it surreptitiously. Typically, if you look at the fucking stupid ghosts in the movies, they’d do lame ass shit like flipping switches, moving objects, and hiding in shadows – just to mess with people. And only when people started to get freak out, they’d do an occasional appearance to send a stronger message or whatever the fuck they wanted. At most, they’d possess some kids/girls to turn up the tension a notch or two, but that’s about it.

If you ask me, I’d say that’s too much effort and time wasted just to scare some weak willed people and kids. In the realms of the corporate world, that’s called being passive and it’s a characteristic of weak people. And these weak people, they get culled for that. Lower distribution of the bell curve. In the grand scheme of evilness in the history of mankind, ghosts/demons are like, a bunch of kindergarten kids trying to compete in professional Mixed Martial Arts competition. Totally lame.

So, back to my question, why the low self esteem? If I were to be a ghost/demon (you guys should thank your God that I’m not one), I’m gonna be fucking good at my job of being evil. I’m not going to lurk in the closet just to scare some loser. You know what I’m going to do? I’m going to make an appearance inside the Nobel Prize Award ceremony, and possess the smartest looking person there. And then I’m going to gouge my own eyes out, and gnaw off my own arm, and cannibalize that said arm in front of live TV. And then I’m going to evil laugh, say something crazy, and do the same crazy shit to the next person while leaving the one before bleed to death. When everyone has cleared the room in pandemonium, I’m going to levitate out in the public and do it to the next person I see… until the whole city is fucking dead/deserted. That ought to send a message or two. I will be the epitome of evil and everyone will be my bitch. I’m going to lay waste to humanity like it’s my thing. There will be no doubt of what I can do, what I am and whether I fucking exist. People will recalibrate their faith and scientists will rewrite the laws of physics because of me.

And there’s absolutely nothing anyone/anything can do about it – because I’m already dead, and I’m evil. And I’m gooooooood at my job.

(again, you fuckers are so lucky I’m not a demon/ghost)

michaelooi  | thoughts  | Comments Off
September 26, 2016

what to look out when buying an apartment/condo – part 3

this is an addition to what I’ve already written in the previous 2 lists…here and here

A short discussion with a bunch of younger friends yielded one important insight about what to look out when buying an apartment/condo…

You see, buying a home is a risk. You risk of spending a fortune buying a home that could suck. Believe me, the odds are against you if you’re as dumb as I think you are (I’ve seen a lot of sohais getting their shit ruined because they couldn’t deign to put in some effort to think, before deciding to throw in the downpayment for an apartment/condo).

Crime rate
How do you fancy getting your everyday stuff stolen every now and then? Stuffs like shoes, sandals, undergarments? Or even worse, getting held up with a machete while the robbers ransack your goddamn house? It is a fucking problem, I tell you. I have a friend whose place is so damn fucked up, that he even got his dog stolen! (it was one of those fancy ass dogs).

Horrible neighbors
I’ve had neighbors from hell before (that’s why I hate neighbors, it’s a trauma I carried from my childhood). I had neighbors who’d rear chickens with her rotten leftover rice (whom I’ve written about here), and another Indian family whose sons would boom box the night away in drunken stupor and house fights. One day, a couple of the sons murdered the older brother and all of them were thrown in prison leaving the old mom behind (it was surreal). But your worst nightmare would be a neighbor who would rent out his/her unit to a Bangla, who in turn will grow more comrades from the mud, start chopping trees down, build ballistas, war machines and whatnots and before you realize, you’re dealing with hordes of them showing up at every corner of the neighborhood flashing war paints on their genitals to your young daughters.

Garbage collection
And do you believe there are places where the garbage truck won’t go? It’s not in their area of coverage. Or maybe some council-man did something stupid to piss off the garbage collection contractor and as a result of that, landfill in your neighborhood. It can be a sore sight to behold, and you’d be living in filth, and before long, stray animals and flies start to appear and be too close to your comfort in your own home.

Electricity disruptions
There are some jinxed area in Malaysia that have electricity disruptions so frequent, that if everytime the homeowner gets a buck from a black out, the homeowner would get to buy a new house with the money before he/she finishes the original mortgage. Ask the people in my wife’s hometown. Every household has their own generator for a reason. Stuff like these probably won’t be outlined in the brochure for your brand new apartment. You’ve got to soak it in for years, before you know it is an actual problem.

Parking problems
For some fucked up reasons, our governments (both federal/state) aren’t very good at city planning. A lot of apartments and buildings do not get ample parking lots because it is not part of the requirements to get the occupancy permit. Booyah! you get people parking all over the place. That’s when traffic jam becomes rampant, and going to/from from your home could be the nightmare instead of going to the office. There are shitloads of places with such problem in Penang. Ask your Penang friends.

Just to name a few.

Things like these can only percolate and show up later in years, and there’s very little you can do about it other than taking a chance to get some advice from a soothsayer. So, the question is, how can you mitigate these risks? Simple – buy a used unit. A used apartment/condo unit is a tested experiment, tried and true to its current status. You’d know who are the neighbors, and whether it has a crime problem. You’d know if there is an erratic garbage collection schedule and if parking/blackout is going to be a constant headache for you. Sure, it’s going to be harder to find, and most likely going to cost more – but it will still be a good trade off for all the bad deals you didn’t see coming above…

Both my 2 properties were bought used. I paid a little bit more, but I have less problems to worry about. I’m just saying, you do the thinking…

michaelooi  | thoughts  | Comments Off
May 3, 2016

the world according to… me

The world according to… me

1) If my wife eats my food, I am entitled to order another one of it. And if my wife eats my second or subsequent serving, I am entitled to order another, and so forth.

2) If I ever ogled another girl in my wife’s presence, and I remarked some negative observations/comments about that girl to my wife, I’m automatically absolved of any sins committed there & then.

3) The dad is not obliged to attend birthday parties organized by the daughter’s stupid friends.

4) Sliced bread is not considered a full meal and can be eaten any time of the day.

5) If a person starts the answer to your question with “That’s a good question…”, it means he doesn’t know shit and is telling you he is attempting to convince you otherwise.

6) The Theory of Relativity applies to relationships as well – world gets smaller between me and the people I hate, and too damn big between me and the people I like.

7) A person who has the compelling need to brag about a friend or a relative who is rich/famous to boost his/her self esteem, is pathetic and deserves to be discriminated.

8) An ugly girl with a good personality is better than a pretty girl (with big tits) with fucked up attitude. Personality goes a long way.

9) Everyone’s an asshole behind a steering wheel on the road, unless proven otherwise by walking.

10) The number of relatives you have are directly proportional to the sins you’ve committed in your past life.

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March 25, 2016

headscarf

I’m not sure if I have written this before, but this idea has lingered in my mind for a long time – why are headscarves adorning our Muslim ladies’ heads are so plain? I mean, are they prohibited to add some ‘corak-corak yang menarik’ (translated as ‘interesting patterns’) like some Spiderman covers or Pokemon or something like that? Or perhaps simply just some abstract shit?

I had a conversation with a Muslim colleague of mine the other day and confirmed that this is not common. Headscarves usually come in plain single colors and are supposed to be decent. Then I somehow told her that I’ve seen some fancy headscarves with Pikachu on it, which kinda surprised her shitless. I later gave it a thought and realized that I might have not seen those before, and it was probably all in my head… ingrained for so damn long that I couldn’t differentiate if it was a memory or just an innovative idea in my head.

So, why is that? If it’s about decency, how can Spiderman be not decent? If the ladies are allowed to wear makeup, what aren’t they allowed to have ‘corak-corak yang menarik’ on their headscarves?

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January 18, 2016

starving uni kids

Recently, there have been news about many Malaysian students starving at local universities, because they’re too poor to afford food. You can find shitloads of articles and sharings around the social medias, I’m sure you guys have come across those info.

To me, it is ridiculous to say one is ‘too poor to afford food’, especially when you’ve gone to the level of attempting to attain a tertiary education. If that’s really happening (starvation because of money problems), then it could only mean one thing – you’re too fucking lazy to live. (also being a whiny bitch)

You see, you get educated at the tertiary level to enhance your knowledge. And that’s suppose to increase your chances to land a job or a career of your choosing… so that you can, hopefully, making money while enjoying doing something you like and continue to live/buy food to survive (success is secondary, believe me). But it’s not a guarantee that completing your tertiary education means you’d even get a job. Most people end up doing things they didn’t study for and earn not enough for that. Bad news here is, if your expectations have been wrong, your degree is not a guarantee for you to get a job. It’s just a paper proof that you have studied for something – that’s where you draw the line (you use that knowledge to market yourself for a job).

So, in that attempt to gain that knowledge, you starve. It means, you have forgone the fundamental key of survival – that is, to source for food to survive – in your quest to get knowledge. In that case, what’s the point of gaining that knowledge or get that paper proof? What’s the use if you can’t even find food to survive? In the caveman days, you’d be long dead if you’re lazy. Why bother to study if you’re lazy or useless like this? Like I said, it’s ridiculous.

Back in my days, when I can’t afford to not work and study, I had to work full time and did my engineering part time. It was a time without internet, and I didn’t know there’s such thing as a study loan – because none of my parents completed tertiary education or knew shit. I didn’t go to uni because I didn’t get a credit for BeeEm because of an accident (long story), so I had to go for a part time study at private college, which was expensive and it had to be out from the pocket (silly me, could have taken a loan and skipped paying like my frieds $%^&*#). By doing a full time job and a part time study, I could afford enough money to pay for my semester fees (my parents paid partial, I paid the other half) to do my engineering.

And I never starved. I ate curry rice (white rice with shitloads of curry) with some okra beans for the first 2 years everyday when my wage was barely enough (400 bucks per month, no overtime), and my meals gradually improved when I changed to a higher paying job with shitloads of overtime halfway through the engineering (that was Company X). That was when I had to work from 7am to 7pm (with overtime in), and attended engineering classes from 7pm – 10pm every Mon, Wed, Fri. And I had to attend full day classes during the weekends. I did it with no loan, no starving and no bitching.

To top off with that, I scored 2 promotions and was already an associate engineer before I got my diploma. And I could afford to went on dates too. Went for a couple of vacations from my excessive overtime money as well. My life was tough but I still managed to pay rents with a little less sleep + hardwork (less sleep because I was addicted to gaming at the same time). It was taxing and tiring, no doubt, but hey… if you’re not prepared to work hard for it, then you already lost. Just like this bunch of starving whiny uni kids.

Go get a job and re-evaluate your priorities, you cheebyes…

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