My colleagues and I have been discussing about someone in Company X who climbed the corporate ladder too damn fast. Then I brought up something which I have been believing all these while – sucking up the bosses gives one an unfair advantage.

I think I’ve blogged about this before. You can read it here.

As a conclusion – a person’s prospect in a modern, decent sized corporation as it appears, does not solely depend on the person’s competency to work. It has to be more than that. Like, enhancing his/her relationship with his/her superior. The most popular method is to play golf. You play golf with your boss, he gets to know you better. You’d get all the time to be with him, alone. You get to be creative in front of him and show him what a brilliant person you are even if you’re not.

But then, today, I came upon a realization. What if a person’s short? Like, fucking short? How to play golf to suck up the boss? Now we all know golf is not a short people’s game. That’s because one has to be of a minimum height to be able to play golf because the length of a golf club is standardized and short people won’t be able to use it (well, unless the short guy saws off a portion of the club, but the club is gonna lose the kinetic required to hit a ball).

So, does that mean short people couldn’t suck it up to their bosses? And then it occurs to me that short people have their niches to fill. Just like why we have tapeworms. They’re shorter and blood travels to their brain faster – so theoretically, they’re more intelligent and reactive (thus, wilier). But for that advantage, they don’t get to do a lot of things like riding a really cool bike, playing basketball or golf.

So how do short people suck up to their bosses to climb the corporate ladder faster without playing golf? The answer’s simple. Read this old post of mine (I almost forgot about it… and how brilliant I have been…)

I’m sure a lot of Malaysian office workers know about McDonald’s McValue Lunch campaign. While it is not exactly a novel idea (to offer discounts to attract business), but it is somewhat successful in drawing more people to patronize its outlets during lunch. Not a surprise since most Malaysians would kill over a ringgit.

What peeves me most about this McValue Lunch thingy, is that it manages to emulate the ‘puasa month’ syndrome. Remember my post about seeing Muslim people hogging the tables way before they break? Well, that’s what has been happening all over Malaysia in McDonald’s outlets during lunch time. People would just hog tables to wait for the clock to strike 12 noon, and they would throng the counter to get that sweet deal. And then the staff would get all too busy and run out of all prepared food and eventually cause ‘fast food’ to become ‘slow food’.

So, the business will be very good after 12pm for McDonald’s. But between 11am – 12pm, the business will be like crap. Nobody will buy anything during that dark hour, unless that person is at the brink of starving to death and there’s no other restaurant in the area of 50km radius. So, the 1 hour period will constitute only pure wastage. Wastage of electricity, water, time and space.

I wonder who was the retard who thought of this. Why can’t they start the McValue Lunch discount straight right after the breakfast at 11am? Then they will have made full use of that 1 hour to maximize their profit – which is better than nothing at all. And they also won’t get the ‘hogging tables’ problem. Why can’t they figure this out already? (but then, if they can, they wouldn’t have sued that macha for using the McCurry name… *smacks head*)

I don’t know if this is just me, but I think the recent street demo to call for the repeal of ISA is just so lame and uncalled for.

I know I may get a lot of flak for saying this but hey, this is just my opinion. If you think I’m wrong, well, you can fuck yourself with your opinion too. You know why I think it is so fucking lame? Think of it like stabbing yourself with a knife to quell a headache. The pain from the stab wound would overwhelm the headache and voila, no more headache. That’s how I see the whole fracas as. But sadly, some of these demonstrators are taking it as if they’re ‘sacrificing’ themselves like a martyr for a great cause, whilst they’ve achieved nothing but to create a nuisance that riled many.

If I were to be given the choice to prioritize the problems we have in the country, hell, I’d give ‘traffic jam’ a higher priority than having the ISA repealed. Can’t you see that this is so fucking senseless? Taking to the streets, halting the entire city, and endangering the safety of others (some morons even brought their kids to the demonstration) for something that’s not going to affect their life at all? Sure, there are elements of abuse in the judiciary/ISA system, but SO IS EVERYTHING ELSE IN THE GOVERNMENT! We’ve seen the basic human rights getting violated in broad daylight like a cheap prostitute (stuffs that affect everyone directly), and yet these dickwads are worried about ISA?? You’ve got to be shitting me!

For me, taking to the streets = bad idea. It lends credence to your enemy to call you the ‘bad guy’. I think this is nothing but a cheap call for some attention and if that’s the case, there are certainly much better ways to achieve the same result without inconveniencing others. Now, not only the ISA stays, but we all have to contend with the bullshit expenses that the government’s going to come up next, which I’m sure a large portion of it is going to end up in the pocket of certain quarters i.e. the cost for spent tear gas canisters, riot gears, water by thousands of gallons, medical expenses for sprained FRU dicks, fuel claim for the black marias, etc – all bled from the taxes we paid.

If those moronic demonstrators had used a wee bit of their common sense, they would have saved the energy and used it to convince every damn person they know to VOTE OUT those whom they think are too incompetent to run the country. Not enough votes to oust them? Well too bad then, maybe your cause isn’t as popular as you thought it is. Try again next round. Just stay off the goddamn roads.

Got this from CL’s site…

Damn…. I almost died laughing *wipes tears*
Read the rest of this entry »

I noticed a lot of restaurants recently adopted what I would call ‘the sushi king greet’ to improve their customer experience. You know, where the restaurant employees would holler out loud whenever you enter/leave their premise? “SUMAAMMAHSSSEHHHH!” (it’s in Japanese, but I have no idea what it means. Could be cussing at your mother, who knows).

It used to be only Sushi King that does this, but now, I experience it in roughly 5 out of 10 restaurants I visit. I can’t help but wonder, what makes them think that hollering a greet would make my dining experience any better (it does not, trust me)? Maybe it is just me but, each time I get hollered at like that, I get reminded of my mom.

“COME AND EAT YOUR DINNER!!! I’M NOT GOING TO SAY IT AGAIN!!!” [waving fist in the air]

I was at McDonald’s the other day… and noticed that the premise adopted ‘the sushi king greet’ policy. I guess the crew was still getting used to the idea, and as a result of that, they would just holler indiscriminately at anyone who enters the premise. I was eating inside there for about 15 minutes, and I had seen them holler at
- the janitor who works there going through the door,
- the guy who was on his way (from outside) to use the lavatory,
- a couple of Bangla laborers, who got freaked out and left immediately without ordering (and the crew hollered another “THANK YOU COME AGAIN!!!”).

I bet if there were to be a dog entering the restaurant, they’d holler at it too. No shit. So you can imagine the ambiance of the place when there were patrons pouring in for lunch, you’d get a bunch of crazy sohais yelling non-stop sending their spit projectiles all over our fries and burgers. It was just a brainless procedure that they follow without any value at all.

I mean, there are many ways that a restaurant can do to enhance my dining experience, but this is definitely not it. Give me boobies anytime, I’ll come back.