Archive for the ‘thoughts’ Category

December 9, 2003

valentines day

Time passes by so fast nowadays, and without realizing it, we’ve already reached the very end of the year. Not long after that, we’re gonna get some long holidays and eventually, shoved back into reality to work our ass off to get ready for our next Valentines Day.

O yeah. Every year, I see my friends spend a lot of their money buying flowers or music boxes for their girls – which I think is pretty lame. I mean, what is so good about flowers? You can’t use it, most definitely can’t eat it and you can’t keep it for long. And most of all, they are freaking expensive (especially on Valentines day itself).

I tell you, the girls want flowers and gifts just for showing off. Girls felt confident and haughty when everyone gets envious of her for getting a big bouquet of flowers on Valentines Day. It’s like a becon that tells everyone that this girl still got the heat and charm. Every year, girls in my office will walk around to show off their cheaply embellished flowers in the office during Valentines day eve… and it is like a popularity contest amongst them – whoever that gets the most flowers, gets the most attention.

Some actually got it from their boys. Some got it from their secret admirers. And for some pathetic ones, they even send bunch of flowers to themselves just so that not to lose out in the competition. I once sarcastically asked one of them, “Your boyfriend didn’t know your home address aa? Or you don’t have a home aa? Why deliver to office? He stupid aa?” I tell you, it’s all for the attention.

So, guys out there, don’t be fooled to spend shitloads of your money for nothing. Because if a girl does indeed have some feel for you, they won’t need no fucking flower to affirm that. They just need a little love. Real lovers celebrate everyday to be the day of love. Valentine’s Day is just another gimmick by those conniving merchants to rip off innocent blokes like us.

My style of a great Valentine’s date (or any other date) is simple.

1) No expensive dinners. Just plan for a decent place to hangout at night – i.e. beach, hillside or anywhere. Avoid places that are too isolated or remote. Lots of desperate thugs nowadays, not wise to get stick-ups on Valentines Day.
[this is to avoid the crowd and long queues at hotels or restaurants]

2) I will buy a great CD as a gift, coupled with a simple card. Great CD means songs that will remind her of me everytime it is played, not Barney the purple dinosaur kind of soundtrack.
[songs are great to remind you of something/someone special. Use it to make her remind of you each time she hears the song.]

3) I will get ourselves a simple takeaway meal… a pizza or a sandwich. Something light and simple.
[complex meals causes bad breath and unpredictable side effects – belches, farts, etc]

4) Adopt a casual dress code. That should set her expectations low, and makes it easier to score a great outing. I will get myself a motorcycle or something. Traffic jam wastes a lot of time and tend to spoil my mood.
[set lower expectations to lower the chances for the date to turn sour]

5) I will then bring my date to the location set in Step 1. Then, enjoy my simple meal with her while spending our time chatting – ensuring that her time is fully occupied with interesting conversations. Then when it gets too late I will send her home. And if I’m lucky, I’ll pork her.
[a simple but special date. Unlike any old fashioned, lame and expensive Romeo wannabe attempt]

It may sound very simple, but this method is as good as any expensive candle light dinner… only more comfortable and casual, with the same outcome.

I’m a person who works like shit to earn my money hard and for sure, I don’t expect to easily spend a few hundred bucks for a dinner that probably won’t fill my hungry stomach at all. So, if you guys think of doing something different next round, feel free to consider the example above.

michaelooi  | thoughts  | Comments Off
December 3, 2003

insights

My friend Ayamas suggested to rent a bungalow for the New Year celebration and the BODs are all set for the plan. The girls are particularly excited about it. One of them even said, “First, we go for a party at the club… and then we drink ourselves into stupor. If it’s still not enough, we can go back to the bungalow and drink even more. And then can puke together, yippee!” [she was serious]. The very statement of that girl made me cringe in fear. No, not because of the mass alcohol suicide party she suggested but, I was thinking about the funds involved. You know, booze nowadays are sure expensive.

As we all knows, we guys have thick ego. Whenever we are out partying with girls, we are always the one who whips out our wallet and pay for everything. As I said, it’s an ego thing. We like to act as if we guys are born to protect the girls and give them everything they desire (concept of “gentlemen”). But little does everyone realize that, girls nowadays earn as much as we guys do (some even more)… and hell… they do drink like an alkie camel! In the end, it is the “gentlemen” who suffers, and they will appoint more ‘bosses‘ to protect them [boss = credit carddsss].

And due to the fact that Christmas is so close to the New Year celebration, you can best bet that most guys would spend their brand new year with a big hole in his pocket. And I reckon that is why, it is so hard for most ‘interesting and fun’ guys (party goers) to have a handsome savings. Thanks to their ‘gentlemen’ code, that’s the price they have to pay to keep girls around them happy/impressed.

For those who manage to save some in their bank at a relatively young age, they are most probably a bunch of frugal douche bags that was downright boring and dull… probably even a goddamn workaholic. (nope, not even a geek… because a geek would have spent most of his money on computers and gadgets).

So, girls, it couldn’t have been more apparent than this. You want a romantic/gentleman dude?, you can expect him to be broke and not so very well off (see reasons above). If you want your beau to be a rich and ‘pacat‘ (hokkien for ‘dense and full of substance’)? Expect him to be dull, like drain water.

That is why, I am working my ass off to close up the gap between these 2 types of male species here. Short term goal, I would like to party hard enough on Christmas / New Year, and yet, have enough money to get cocky for the coming Chinese New Year. I’m a balance of both… (no, not dull, mind you…)

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November 30, 2003

evil me

Ooh.. the kids finally gone home after messing my place up for the past 2 days. I can finally switch on my PC like I used to… without having to worry about them nosing here and there.

I used to love kids… you know… I loved to play with them. I would talk to them from day till night and I was always so happy to see them around. But that was when I was a kid myself ler…

Thinking about how my nieces and nephews behaved, I have to admit that they are actually waaayyy better than me when I was a kid. But like any other human beings, I have changed. Into a finicky perfectionist. I expect everything in my life to be as close to perfect as possible.

And I expect kids to behave. And since I designed the apartment myself, I kinda developed an indescribable love for my work. I set have strict ground rules to follow to keep the place clean – eg: no food within 5 meter radius from my sofa, permanent ban on kids who fail to comply the rules. Things like that.

I just do not know why it has to be like this. I don’t know how to take things easy when it comes to tolerating kids. I know I should have just cut them some slack and let them have their fun. But no. I couldn’t seem to be able to do that. I can imagine how the kids dread the very sight of me.

But then strange enough, none of the kids are actually scared of me. In fact, they love and admire me. Things would have been easier if they hate me because, they would have resented coming to visit me in the first place… and I’d get less chance of seeing them. But things doesn’t always seem to go the way I want it to be… so…

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November 21, 2003

defining the standard

I don’t understand how some people could still wear a complete suit under our Malaysian hot weather. I can understand if it’s for work formality’s sake. Like if you’re a VIP or something (or a pimp?) But I saw one Korean guy today, who was just a supporting vendor doing some engineering job, wearing a long sleeved collared shirt complete with a necktie and a thick coat to our workplace.

Had I known the fella, I would have walked up to him and asked him to park at the disabled parking lot – because he’d have qualified to be a retard. I mean, do you have any idea how hot it is out there? It’s about 32 fucking degrees. It’ll be stupid to wear any thick clothing under this layer of hot sticky weather. If that guy’s concerned about looking smart, well, he didn’t look any smarter wearing that super hot clown suit. We wanted him there to fix and solve problems. Nobody gives a shit if he choose to look smart or whatever, but we’d be really concerned if he dies out of a heat stroke, because it’ll be inconvenient for us to wait for a couple more months to get a replacement vendor.

So the question is still, why do people still wear that kind of clothing here? What exactly is the function of a necktie? A convenient prop for us to strangle the motherfucker when he pisses us off? For the guy to wipe his mouth? To make the guy look more intelligent?

Other than causing discomfort to at the collar, a necktie definitely looks pretty useless to me. It’s just a long flap of cloth / nylon fabric hanging down from your neck. Spells disaster if you are working in a factory full of conveyor belts.

I have always hated neckties. I didn’t wear one when I went for my first interview. And I always skipped the Monday assembly in school just because I didn’t want to wear the stupid necktie. Wearing a necktie always makes me feel like a dick.

Well, my point is – it is imperative that one dresses appropriately according to the climate. You don’t wear a suit when the weather is scorching hot, because that will make you sweat like a pig and once the excessive sweat is left to percolate under your thick coat, it’s going to smell like you’ve just came back from a game of tennis and you’re not going to impress anyone with that. In the Malaysian weather, people only wear coats when they’re getting married, divorce or attending a funeral. A necktie is for annoying salesmen who goes door-to-door annoying the shit out of people…

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November 20, 2003

food taboo

There was a program shown on National Geographic last night talking about food taboo. It was basically a study about various cultural differences when it comes to food. Eg. durian smells good to most of us South East Asians, but the Westerners think it smells rotten.
Quite interesting I must say.

Now that durian example was just a light case. Do you know that there are actually places in this world that condones eating exotic animals? There was this one part in the show featuring candid interviews with a few gweilos (typical white dudes) about consuming dog meat — “Eeeewww… I would never eat a dog. It’s cruel.”

They were exhibiting such an intense abhorrence on the topic as if they were being asked to kill and eat their school music teacher. Killing dogs are cruel, they said. They can’t bear the thought of having to kill a living dog just to have its meat. Like, you’d be cast into the deepest pits in hell if you do that. You get the idea.

You know what? Those guy are assholes.

They must have thought that beef and pork are derived from vegetables. If I was actually there during the interview session, I would have yelled square at their faces – WAKE UP! PEOPLE KILL ANIMALS FOR FOOD! From the beef patty in your MacDonald’s burger, to the bucket of fried chicken you ordered for your son’s birthday, they’re all parts from an animal slaughter. If you still do not fucking get it, here’s another way of saying it – some animals have to die everyday to feed your ignorant and stupid ass. And why is it so different with dogs?

My point is – don’t be such a hypocritical jackass if you don’t know about something. If you’re a meat eater, then you’re a meat eater. It makes no difference if you eat a chicken or a giraffe. If you’re refraining from eating certain types of meat because it violates some of your personal principle, fine. Just don’t fucking eat it. But don’t be going around insulting other cultures as CRUEL, just because they eat something you do not agree.

Let’s face it. We humans have been eating animals for thousands of years to evolve into what we are today. Had our cave dwelling ancestors had reservations about consuming meat, we’d all be sloths hanging upside down on tree branches now, or worst, folded back in existence through massive extinction. We needed all the proteins, fibers, fats, minerals and energy for the evolution. For the brain to grow. For survival.

Food taboo is a very sensitive topic and has always been. For me, I personally believe that all cultures are unique and they should be respected as they ought to be. They world will be a much peaceful place if we could only learn how to respect other cultures. Having said that, I am not ashamed to admit that I’d eat anything edible just to get a taste. Not so much on respecting other cultures but, just a principle of my own that I only get to live once, if I don’t try it in this lifetime, I won’t get another life. (and I don’t go around condemning people who eats something out of my common diet)

Anyway, it was a good show.

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