Archive for the ‘thoughts’ Category

November 21, 2003

defining the standard

I don’t understand how some people could still wear a complete suit under our Malaysian hot weather. I can understand if it’s for work formality’s sake. Like if you’re a VIP or something (or a pimp?) But I saw one Korean guy today, who was just a supporting vendor doing some engineering job, wearing a long sleeved collared shirt complete with a necktie and a thick coat to our workplace.

Had I known the fella, I would have walked up to him and asked him to park at the disabled parking lot – because he’d have qualified to be a retard. I mean, do you have any idea how hot it is out there? It’s about 32 fucking degrees. It’ll be stupid to wear any thick clothing under this layer of hot sticky weather. If that guy’s concerned about looking smart, well, he didn’t look any smarter wearing that super hot clown suit. We wanted him there to fix and solve problems. Nobody gives a shit if he choose to look smart or whatever, but we’d be really concerned if he dies out of a heat stroke, because it’ll be inconvenient for us to wait for a couple more months to get a replacement vendor.

So the question is still, why do people still wear that kind of clothing here? What exactly is the function of a necktie? A convenient prop for us to strangle the motherfucker when he pisses us off? For the guy to wipe his mouth? To make the guy look more intelligent?

Other than causing discomfort to at the collar, a necktie definitely looks pretty useless to me. It’s just a long flap of cloth / nylon fabric hanging down from your neck. Spells disaster if you are working in a factory full of conveyor belts.

I have always hated neckties. I didn’t wear one when I went for my first interview. And I always skipped the Monday assembly in school just because I didn’t want to wear the stupid necktie. Wearing a necktie always makes me feel like a dick.

Well, my point is – it is imperative that one dresses appropriately according to the climate. You don’t wear a suit when the weather is scorching hot, because that will make you sweat like a pig and once the excessive sweat is left to percolate under your thick coat, it’s going to smell like you’ve just came back from a game of tennis and you’re not going to impress anyone with that. In the Malaysian weather, people only wear coats when they’re getting married, divorce or attending a funeral. A necktie is for annoying salesmen who goes door-to-door annoying the shit out of people…

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November 20, 2003

food taboo

There was a program shown on National Geographic last night talking about food taboo. It was basically a study about various cultural differences when it comes to food. Eg. durian smells good to most of us South East Asians, but the Westerners think it smells rotten.
Quite interesting I must say.

Now that durian example was just a light case. Do you know that there are actually places in this world that condones eating exotic animals? There was this one part in the show featuring candid interviews with a few gweilos (typical white dudes) about consuming dog meat — “Eeeewww… I would never eat a dog. It’s cruel.”

They were exhibiting such an intense abhorrence on the topic as if they were being asked to kill and eat their school music teacher. Killing dogs are cruel, they said. They can’t bear the thought of having to kill a living dog just to have its meat. Like, you’d be cast into the deepest pits in hell if you do that. You get the idea.

You know what? Those guy are assholes.

They must have thought that beef and pork are derived from vegetables. If I was actually there during the interview session, I would have yelled square at their faces – WAKE UP! PEOPLE KILL ANIMALS FOR FOOD! From the beef patty in your MacDonald’s burger, to the bucket of fried chicken you ordered for your son’s birthday, they’re all parts from an animal slaughter. If you still do not fucking get it, here’s another way of saying it – some animals have to die everyday to feed your ignorant and stupid ass. And why is it so different with dogs?

My point is – don’t be such a hypocritical jackass if you don’t know about something. If you’re a meat eater, then you’re a meat eater. It makes no difference if you eat a chicken or a giraffe. If you’re refraining from eating certain types of meat because it violates some of your personal principle, fine. Just don’t fucking eat it. But don’t be going around insulting other cultures as CRUEL, just because they eat something you do not agree.

Let’s face it. We humans have been eating animals for thousands of years to evolve into what we are today. Had our cave dwelling ancestors had reservations about consuming meat, we’d all be sloths hanging upside down on tree branches now, or worst, folded back in existence through massive extinction. We needed all the proteins, fibers, fats, minerals and energy for the evolution. For the brain to grow. For survival.

Food taboo is a very sensitive topic and has always been. For me, I personally believe that all cultures are unique and they should be respected as they ought to be. They world will be a much peaceful place if we could only learn how to respect other cultures. Having said that, I am not ashamed to admit that I’d eat anything edible just to get a taste. Not so much on respecting other cultures but, just a principle of my own that I only get to live once, if I don’t try it in this lifetime, I won’t get another life. (and I don’t go around condemning people who eats something out of my common diet)

Anyway, it was a good show.

michaelooi  | thoughts  | Comments Off
November 18, 2003

a common fraud

A few days ago, my sister paraded around the house showing off her new haircut…

“That’s a disgusting haircut. You looked like a typical witch version of ah lian” I remarked.

This of course aggravated her, which prompted her to respond,

“You and your poor eyesight. I am better looking than a lot of people. You ought to go for a checkup”.

“If you’re as good looking as you claim to be, then why would you need cosmetics or a fancy haircut to enhance your looks? Or are you trying to mask your ugliness? Just accept the fact already, you’re born ugly.”

My comment immediately sent her back into my mom’s room, in front of the mirror. She would look at herself to check for imperfections (it was everywhere, but she was too blind to spot one…) and attempted to fend for herself on my acerbic comment. But I think deep inside, she knows – that I have revealed an ultimate truth. It was her ego that was fucking with her.

Well… my sister indeed isn’t that bad looking compared to many living organism. Worms, houseflies, proboscis monkeys, to name a few. But revealing the truth and aggravate her at the same time is sure fun.

Anyway, back to the topic. Has anyone actually wondered, why do girls need to wear make up to feel more confident? Why do they need all the fancy hairdo’s to look good? Why do they like to make their face looks different with thick makeovers? Are these implications that they are ashamed of how they really looked like? And they’re masking their face up with makeovers and deception just to be confident? This is so wrong.

Imagine yourself seeing a pair of cool Timberland boots, which you liked very much. After saving enough money to buy it and bring it home, it turns out to be of different color, design and product altogether. In that case, would you feel cheated? You paid for a pair of boots you liked, but it somehow turned out to be something different! So if your girl were to look different without makeup, would you feel like you’ve been cheated? It’s very hard to think that you wouldn’t, dude.

Let’s face it. We are now all living in a world full of deception. Our ancestors used to say – do not believe anything unless you see it with your own pair of eyes. That belief is sure obsoleted now. With science and technology, nothing is impossible. Beautiful things are not natural anymore because the fake is so much better than the original. Fake face, fake teeth, fake tits, fake hairs… you name it.

For me, I will try to be honest here. I would like my girl to be attractive of course (hey,… who doesn’t?). But I would prefer for her to be like that ALL THE TIME. No makeovers to veil her face. No fake eyelashes. No fake titties for me to get excited. No fancy hairdo’s. I want her to be pleasant, just like that. All natural. And I’m glad that I found her.

So, to you guys out there. Good luck. Just a caution – be sure to check how “boots” really look like before bringing them home. Do not make critical decisions based on the first impression. You need to ‘test drive’. You need to clear the deception, and find out about the truth…

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November 12, 2003

ambition

When I was a kid, people always asked – “What you want to be when you grow up?”. Well, I was smart. I knew that wasn’t a straight question. It was a question to gauge your psychological being. They have hidden meanings. My mom never asked me that before… but my relatives did. All the time. (Like they cared)

My parents never gave a damn about what I want to be when I grow up. They just hoped that I would finish my high school and stay the fuck out of jail. I grew up in a simple family with not much plans for the future. I can imagine, I could have told my mom that I want to be a rock star, she would not even show any reaction. She would probably say something sarcastic like “Sure. Go ahead be a rock star. Just don’t ask me for money to buy a guitar.”

Anyway, back to the topic – ambition. Whenever I was asked about my ambition, the only thing that always come into my mind would be “I don’t know”. But of course I won’t answer “I don’t know”. It will be stupid to do that. The adults would think I’m a troubled child and probably would send me for a counseling or something. So, I’d always tell them what they wanted to hear – “Oh, I want to be a doctor / lawyer / pilot / engineer” – then get myself a pat on the shoulder and get the fuck out of there. It has always been about what they want to hear, not about what we really want to be when we grow up.

In fact, if you take a look at the question carefully, you’d realize that it is quite a subjective topic. There will be no definitely answer to that. First of all, there is no real definition of “grown up” in this world here. Some of my friends, like Eric, still doesn’t show any sign of growing up even in his 40’s. So, if I decide to party hard and “grow up” later in my life, say about, 70 years old, why would I need a profession or career still? “My ambition is don’t have to do anything. Hope to have less grey hairs and be able to sustain an erection.” – that would have sounded so absurd.

Second, there are no fixed career paths in our dynamic society. 40 years ago, if your ambition was to be an engineer, you’d get oohs and aahs, and people would see you as a bright kid that wants to carve himself a niche in the society. Then come today, the name ‘engineer’ has become so common that even a door-to-door salesman is calling himself a “Sales Engineer”. And these engineers are the ones that go door-to-door to solicit their ill selling products and aggravating people is part of their job scope. You get my point? It’s not a job that was as glamorous and great before.

So, please leave your kids alone. Don’t ask them what they want to be when they grow up. They are not fortune tellers. Just give them the best education you can, and let them decide for themselves – what they NEED to be to get what they want. The world has changed and it’s not the same anymore.

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October 13, 2003

my bad habit – it’s a good thing

I think I am spending too much of my time cussing on the road. Each time I take over a steering wheel, I can’t help but to cuss this and that. I cuss at people, cars, cats, dogs – just, anything that moves and affects my driving pleasure. Sometimes, I even cuss at myself for making a boner or two, that’s how crazy I am.

I cuss indiscriminately and my cuss knows no boundary. I can cuss in multiple languages and have pretty decent knowledge on various international sign language too (although I seldom use them). Sometimes, I get some company from my passengers to cuss together and get to learn new profanities. But there are also times I get complaints from them who got uncomfortable with my way of hurling cusses at innocent motorists – and of course they will always get the standard ‘go fuck yourself’ reply from me.

So, is this really a good or a bad thing?

My mom always tell me it is not nice to cuss while driving, because the opposite side of the asshole will not be able to hear me (and I will only be hearing it myself).

But that’s not really that important to me. I don’t really give a shit if the person on the opposite side hears it or not. What’s more important, is that we get to ‘release’.

You see, we humans react to threats, naturally known as ‘reflex’. And these reflexes were developed throughout our course of evolving from a single celled organism to what we are today. For example, the pain receptor. The pain will make you pull up your hands, preventing it from further damaging your tissues. The ‘angst reflex’ is exactly the same thing… although it is more of a psychological one. When you’re angry, you yell out at the top of your lungs to release your stress. When you’ve been de-stressed, your head cools down faster and that’d naturally avert any unnecessary brawl which could land your ass into trouble and stuff.

So, to see it in another aspect, cussing inside your car is part of an important evolution. A simple act that has evolved to protect mankind from getting too aggressive by releasing tension orally. So, it’s guess it’s a good thing.

For an optimistic person (like me), cussing can also be looked as a way to understand other cultural differences too. When 2 person of different ethnic origin cusses in the same car, they get to know more about the beauty of other languages and bridge the cultural gap in between.

For example:

Summer 2000 – I was driving on 183 highway east of Austin, together with an American Vietnamese friend – whom I shall call ‘Suy’ here. The following conversation took place when we were almost hit by a large pickup truck which came out of nowhere.

[Me & Suy exclaimed simultaneously]
Suy : “Fucking asshole ! ”

Me : “Tiu nia seng ! ” (cantonese)

[Suy paused for a moment]

Suy : “Hey… what was that you were saying ?”

Me : “Oh… that’s ‘tiu nia seng’. A cantonese cuss. It means ‘fuck you something’… Not quite sure about it’s exact meaning but it’s very popular… ”

Suy : “Heheh… tiu nia seng… cool. Wait till I try this out at the office… I bet those guys won’t have a clue I’m giving them a compliment… hahah. Anymore that I should know?”

And I taught him a bit of each in different Chinese dialects and some insults in Tamil. Suy had learned something so priceless in his life that would have not been possible – if we didn’t meet that asshole in the large pickup truck by surprise and cuss the hell out of him.

So, as you can see, depending on how you look at it, cussing can be a good thing. In fact, it’s detrimental to keep much of your anger within yourself. Everything has its limit. You won’t be able to keep everything within yourself for eternity. It’s going to be much worse when you snap one day, and to unleash your accumulated anger on say, your pet dog, cat or even your own girlfriend… and hurt them. So, why keep them all inside? Let it all out. They don’t need to hear you, but you need to let them out.

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