Archive for the ‘thoughts’ Category

February 16, 2004

spoil the market

‘Spoil the market’ — a phrase to imply a purported sabotage of a mutually agreed goal/limit in order to gain advantage over others.

Eg. Rob sold his raw materials at a price 20% lower than other merchants. By doing so, he gained more market shares… because of his lower price. In order to counter Rob’s advantage, the other merchants had to lower their prices as well… and endure lower profit due to Rob’s inconsiderate act. Rob’s act is a perfect example of ‘spoil the market’.

I’ve came across this phrase many times lately :

Act 1:
Henry, Amber, Emily and myself were walking along a stretch of shops during Valentines Day …

Henry : “Hey … nice flowers. You girls want flowers?”

Amber : “I’m ok with anything.”

Emily : **turns to me and smile**

Me : **turns to Henry and rasped** “Market spoiler!”

Act 2:
Walking along with friends on Valentines Day, I bumped into my lab technician selling flowers by the roadside.

Me : “Hey man… how’s it going? Taking a part time job huh?”

Technician : “Yeah, good money tonight. Wanna buy flowers? This one is nice…” **points at a big bouquet of flowers**

Me : “Get out of here, don’t spoil the market.”

Act 3:
My mom bought a big teddy bear for Emily on Valentines Day.

Emily : “That bear is sure nice. I still can’t believe it’s from your mom instead of you”

Me : “She’s a market spoiler…”

Emily : “What did you say??”

Me : “Err … nice bear”

Act 4:
Niece has been watching cartoon for 7 hours straight.

Me : “Damn it… you’ve been watching cartoons for the whole day! Have you completed your homework??”

Niece : “I have already completed them all…”

Me : “Go do some revisions then! You think you’d become a genius just by completing your homework??”

Mom : “Aww… let her watch lah… not that she gets to watch cartoons everyday…”

Me : “Don’t spoil the market, mom. I want to watch that goddamn TV!”

Spoiling the market is the most despicable act.

michaelooi  | thoughts  | Comments Off
January 16, 2004

brows

I strongly believe that every part of our body exists for a good reason.

Our eyes – they let us see. Our brain – they let us think. Our ears – they let us hear. Our sex organs – they let us reproduce and have fun. Our legs – they let us go places and kick dogs. Etc.

But surprisingly, not many realize that. A lot of people nowadays like to change or modify themselves (physically) to the extend of obsoleting the actual function of their body parts – just for the sake of hype and fashion.

Recently, I’ve noticed some changes in one of my colleagues — which is Jude’s best friend called WC. WC used to be a petite and shy girl. The type that works very hard and doesn’t give a damn about her appearance. She’s not a good looking girl but has a very commendable personality.

Now what happened to WC ? She suddenly dyed her hair the color of a very old coconut shell (that type of brown)… and did something to her eyebrows. Well, I actually have no comment over the sudden change of her hair color but it was her “new” eyebrows that spooked me. She basically plucked her eyebrows off till it became very thin… and tweaked it using black india ink (or whatever they call the thing to draw their eyebrows). So badly tweaked that it looked as if she’s frowning even when she’s very happy.

Our eyebrows actually play a very important role in the mechanism of our facial expression. Through our facial expression, people will be able to know what are we thinking and what is our emotional status. So, when we tweak it, it’s sort of like causing it to go out-of-spec… and probably would not be as efficient as it was meant to be. It’s the main thing that segregates us humans from those expressionless animals.

Anyone seen a dog with a pair of eyebrows before? How about a cat? And because they don’t have an ability to contort their eyebrows / facial muscles to make an expression – they have limited ability to communicate amongst themselves.

Take for example… cows. The way they communicate are just limited to a monotonous ‘moo’. And probably the most… would just be a longer ‘moo’… or a higher pitched ‘moo’… which could sound like ‘meeeee’ to some people. Now, add eyebrows and some ability to make facial expression. Their monotonous ‘moo’ can be translated as ‘moo ?’… when a cow makes that one sided eyebrow lift (ala The Rock style). See the advantage of having a pair of eyebrows?

So, why tamper with it? Is it that some people prefer to be like a cow? Or prefer to have a permanent fake expression etched on their face to deceive us guys? Very confusing indeed.
Alright, back to the topic of WC modifying her eyebrows.

I just don’t know how to explain my feelings when I saw WC’s set of eccentric eyebrows. It’s something between perplexed and laughing my ass off. But when I saw it, I just stood there astounded – and wondered why would she trade her natural brows to this ridiculously fake looking one. I dare not to ask her because it might just hurt her feelings.

Maybe this is just another little known behavioral deficiency of the female species … that men will never understand.

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December 9, 2003

valentines day

Time passes by so fast nowadays, and without realizing it, we’ve already reached the very end of the year. Not long after that, we’re gonna get some long holidays and eventually, shoved back into reality to work our ass off to get ready for our next Valentines Day.

O yeah. Every year, I see my friends spend a lot of their money buying flowers or music boxes for their girls – which I think is pretty lame. I mean, what is so good about flowers? You can’t use it, most definitely can’t eat it and you can’t keep it for long. And most of all, they are freaking expensive (especially on Valentines day itself).

I tell you, the girls want flowers and gifts just for showing off. Girls felt confident and haughty when everyone gets envious of her for getting a big bouquet of flowers on Valentines Day. It’s like a becon that tells everyone that this girl still got the heat and charm. Every year, girls in my office will walk around to show off their cheaply embellished flowers in the office during Valentines day eve… and it is like a popularity contest amongst them – whoever that gets the most flowers, gets the most attention.

Some actually got it from their boys. Some got it from their secret admirers. And for some pathetic ones, they even send bunch of flowers to themselves just so that not to lose out in the competition. I once sarcastically asked one of them, “Your boyfriend didn’t know your home address aa? Or you don’t have a home aa? Why deliver to office? He stupid aa?” I tell you, it’s all for the attention.

So, guys out there, don’t be fooled to spend shitloads of your money for nothing. Because if a girl does indeed have some feel for you, they won’t need no fucking flower to affirm that. They just need a little love. Real lovers celebrate everyday to be the day of love. Valentine’s Day is just another gimmick by those conniving merchants to rip off innocent blokes like us.

My style of a great Valentine’s date (or any other date) is simple.

1) No expensive dinners. Just plan for a decent place to hangout at night – i.e. beach, hillside or anywhere. Avoid places that are too isolated or remote. Lots of desperate thugs nowadays, not wise to get stick-ups on Valentines Day.
[this is to avoid the crowd and long queues at hotels or restaurants]

2) I will buy a great CD as a gift, coupled with a simple card. Great CD means songs that will remind her of me everytime it is played, not Barney the purple dinosaur kind of soundtrack.
[songs are great to remind you of something/someone special. Use it to make her remind of you each time she hears the song.]

3) I will get ourselves a simple takeaway meal… a pizza or a sandwich. Something light and simple.
[complex meals causes bad breath and unpredictable side effects – belches, farts, etc]

4) Adopt a casual dress code. That should set her expectations low, and makes it easier to score a great outing. I will get myself a motorcycle or something. Traffic jam wastes a lot of time and tend to spoil my mood.
[set lower expectations to lower the chances for the date to turn sour]

5) I will then bring my date to the location set in Step 1. Then, enjoy my simple meal with her while spending our time chatting – ensuring that her time is fully occupied with interesting conversations. Then when it gets too late I will send her home. And if I’m lucky, I’ll pork her.
[a simple but special date. Unlike any old fashioned, lame and expensive Romeo wannabe attempt]

It may sound very simple, but this method is as good as any expensive candle light dinner… only more comfortable and casual, with the same outcome.

I’m a person who works like shit to earn my money hard and for sure, I don’t expect to easily spend a few hundred bucks for a dinner that probably won’t fill my hungry stomach at all. So, if you guys think of doing something different next round, feel free to consider the example above.

michaelooi  | thoughts  | Comments Off
December 3, 2003

insights

My friend Ayamas suggested to rent a bungalow for the New Year celebration and the BODs are all set for the plan. The girls are particularly excited about it. One of them even said, “First, we go for a party at the club… and then we drink ourselves into stupor. If it’s still not enough, we can go back to the bungalow and drink even more. And then can puke together, yippee!” [she was serious]. The very statement of that girl made me cringe in fear. No, not because of the mass alcohol suicide party she suggested but, I was thinking about the funds involved. You know, booze nowadays are sure expensive.

As we all knows, we guys have thick ego. Whenever we are out partying with girls, we are always the one who whips out our wallet and pay for everything. As I said, it’s an ego thing. We like to act as if we guys are born to protect the girls and give them everything they desire (concept of “gentlemen”). But little does everyone realize that, girls nowadays earn as much as we guys do (some even more)… and hell… they do drink like an alkie camel! In the end, it is the “gentlemen” who suffers, and they will appoint more ‘bosses‘ to protect them [boss = credit carddsss].

And due to the fact that Christmas is so close to the New Year celebration, you can best bet that most guys would spend their brand new year with a big hole in his pocket. And I reckon that is why, it is so hard for most ‘interesting and fun’ guys (party goers) to have a handsome savings. Thanks to their ‘gentlemen’ code, that’s the price they have to pay to keep girls around them happy/impressed.

For those who manage to save some in their bank at a relatively young age, they are most probably a bunch of frugal douche bags that was downright boring and dull… probably even a goddamn workaholic. (nope, not even a geek… because a geek would have spent most of his money on computers and gadgets).

So, girls, it couldn’t have been more apparent than this. You want a romantic/gentleman dude?, you can expect him to be broke and not so very well off (see reasons above). If you want your beau to be a rich and ‘pacat‘ (hokkien for ‘dense and full of substance’)? Expect him to be dull, like drain water.

That is why, I am working my ass off to close up the gap between these 2 types of male species here. Short term goal, I would like to party hard enough on Christmas / New Year, and yet, have enough money to get cocky for the coming Chinese New Year. I’m a balance of both… (no, not dull, mind you…)

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November 30, 2003

evil me

Ooh.. the kids finally gone home after messing my place up for the past 2 days. I can finally switch on my PC like I used to… without having to worry about them nosing here and there.

I used to love kids… you know… I loved to play with them. I would talk to them from day till night and I was always so happy to see them around. But that was when I was a kid myself ler…

Thinking about how my nieces and nephews behaved, I have to admit that they are actually waaayyy better than me when I was a kid. But like any other human beings, I have changed. Into a finicky perfectionist. I expect everything in my life to be as close to perfect as possible.

And I expect kids to behave. And since I designed the apartment myself, I kinda developed an indescribable love for my work. I set have strict ground rules to follow to keep the place clean – eg: no food within 5 meter radius from my sofa, permanent ban on kids who fail to comply the rules. Things like that.

I just do not know why it has to be like this. I don’t know how to take things easy when it comes to tolerating kids. I know I should have just cut them some slack and let them have their fun. But no. I couldn’t seem to be able to do that. I can imagine how the kids dread the very sight of me.

But then strange enough, none of the kids are actually scared of me. In fact, they love and admire me. Things would have been easier if they hate me because, they would have resented coming to visit me in the first place… and I’d get less chance of seeing them. But things doesn’t always seem to go the way I want it to be… so…

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