Archive for the ‘thoughts’ Category

March 2, 2004

the ultimate invention

The Penang Bridge became hell yesterday when a truck overturned and plowed into a score of smaller vehicles. It was reported that the authorities had to close down the bridge for which lead to a massive congestion that stalled thousands of commuters who travel across the strait daily. The congestion was soooo bad, that a lot of vehicles stalled from overheating engine… which in turn, aggravated the jam even further. Definitely one of the worst traffic jam ever.

Now, where was I during the entire catastrophic event? I was happily surfing the net inside my company, thanks to a mobile phone call from a friend who was trapped inside the massive jam. Then, I went to Carrefour to have a relaxing dinner with my wife Emily… and later did some shopping before going home at about 9pm. Thank God for the invention of mobile phone (sorry, I have no idea who invented the mobile phone)

Now imagine this, how is it like if there is no such thing as a mobile phone?
– I’d probably be cussing and smacking my steering like a lunatic inside my car on that day…
– I would not be able to receive those cute SMS text pictures during festive season
– I won’t be able to feign having an important phone call and excuse myself halfway through a boring meeting…
– And probably, no one would be able to divorce their wives through SMS anymore… which I think is a super sad thing to happen. (Kidding).
– many more.

Now, isn’t mobile phone a wonderful thing? It obsoleted a lot of conservative practices… and now it is saving us from driving straight to hell.

Who knows if the mobile phone could even wipe out the roaches & terrorism as well? We’ll never know. We just need to sit back and witness achievements after achievements being struck by this wonderful piece of invention. Kudos to God and whoever that invented it.

michaelooi  | thoughts  | Comments Off
February 23, 2004

a productive meeting at work

The bosses were late for a scheduled meeting today. So, I kind took the chance to chat up with my colleagues today. A pretty casual type of chat – we talked about girls, cars and money.

One of my colleagues, Wilson, told us of an incident of himself being drunk and vented some nasty stuff at our boss.

It was in a fellow colleague’s wedding that he got real blitzed from the excessive toast that night, and he was approached by a lottery salesguy. With his alcohol induced elevated sense, he somehow had the delusion that he might miss out a chance to be a millionaire if he doesn’t buy at least one lottery that night. So, he flagged the guy over and bought a few lotteries. While he was doing that, he actually rambled to our boss – who happened to be around at that time – out of his addled state – “Boss… when I get my 3 million bucks, you don’t have to worry a thing. I will still work for you… but don’t expect me to work that hard… like what I’m doing now” …and sniggered.

I could tell that the incident would remain as a story for him to tell for generations to come… (which kind of makes a cool drunken tale to impress friends, I have to admit)

Wilson’s experience kind of made me think – would a guy still choose to continue working if he strikes a lottery? I received pretty much the same response from around the gang there – YES. Yes they would still work if they struck a lottery. Why? Amongst the response – money is not really the ultimate thing in life. But the majority of people there agreed, that a bloke won’t survive long if he were to sit around doing nothing for the rest of his life. One day, he would eventually feel like a fucking cripple/vegetable… that he’ll either go depressed or insane.

So the key idea is, a guy needs the job to FEEL IMPORTANT, and in turn, to survive. As long as he FEELS IMPORTANT… everything else will be fine. You girls out there should take note of this very important thing about guys. Make your guy feel important… and you’ll get a great commitment from him for the relationship (apart from giving him a blowjob in the morning). Let him change the light bulb… fix the car… kill the intruder snake… whatever. Let him save the day, and be the hero. Make him feel that he is needed, and that he IS IMPORTANT. I bet you’ll get to see a pretty side of him that you’ve never seen before.

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February 20, 2004


A discussion with a bunch of colleagues made me realize one thing about myself – I never actually owned a pet in my life before. Not a dog, a cat… nor even a hamster. There are occasionally lizards visiting me at night, but I am not responsible for their upbringing at all. I never owned any cute little tortoises or even a guppy before. The closest thing to a pet I ever had, was a bunch of nasty monsters in that addictive Dungeon Keeper game – but they were just codes and they do not exist in reality. So, no pets at all.

Never had I thought of taking up the responsibility to own a life before. Not that I hate animals or anything, in fact, I actually like dogs. But I never get to own, or thought of owning one before… because I have been staying in apartments most of my life. It would have been inconvenient to own a pet of any sorts. Inconveniences like space constraint, hygiene, noise control, fall from the apartment when they hang their clothes, getting stuck inside elevators when they return home late at night, troubles with security guards (u know, they have difficulty to talk), not enough parking space, etc.

But then, even if I have the capacity, I probably would digress at the idea. I don’t really know why. Maybe it is because I am afraid that I might not do a good job taking care of them – for I am already having a lot of trouble looking after myself. Or maybe I am too afraid of losing my pet when it dies. To name a few.

With all the difficulties and hurdles, I guess I will not be thinking of keeping a pet for a very long time. At least not until I move to a landed property, which would cost at least half a million in Penang. And if I have that much amount of money – I would be too busy enjoying myself to be worried about pets. *shrugs* One way or another, it’s rather unlikely.

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February 16, 2004

spoil the market

‘Spoil the market’ — a phrase to imply a purported sabotage of a mutually agreed goal/limit in order to gain advantage over others.

Eg. Rob sold his raw materials at a price 20% lower than other merchants. By doing so, he gained more market shares… because of his lower price. In order to counter Rob’s advantage, the other merchants had to lower their prices as well… and endure lower profit due to Rob’s inconsiderate act. Rob’s act is a perfect example of ‘spoil the market’.

I’ve came across this phrase many times lately :

Act 1:
Henry, Amber, Emily and myself were walking along a stretch of shops during Valentines Day …

Henry : “Hey … nice flowers. You girls want flowers?”

Amber : “I’m ok with anything.”

Emily : **turns to me and smile**

Me : **turns to Henry and rasped** “Market spoiler!”

Act 2:
Walking along with friends on Valentines Day, I bumped into my lab technician selling flowers by the roadside.

Me : “Hey man… how’s it going? Taking a part time job huh?”

Technician : “Yeah, good money tonight. Wanna buy flowers? This one is nice…” **points at a big bouquet of flowers**

Me : “Get out of here, don’t spoil the market.”

Act 3:
My mom bought a big teddy bear for Emily on Valentines Day.

Emily : “That bear is sure nice. I still can’t believe it’s from your mom instead of you”

Me : “She’s a market spoiler…”

Emily : “What did you say??”

Me : “Err … nice bear”

Act 4:
Niece has been watching cartoon for 7 hours straight.

Me : “Damn it… you’ve been watching cartoons for the whole day! Have you completed your homework??”

Niece : “I have already completed them all…”

Me : “Go do some revisions then! You think you’d become a genius just by completing your homework??”

Mom : “Aww… let her watch lah… not that she gets to watch cartoons everyday…”

Me : “Don’t spoil the market, mom. I want to watch that goddamn TV!”

Spoiling the market is the most despicable act.

michaelooi  | thoughts  | Comments Off
January 16, 2004


I strongly believe that every part of our body exists for a good reason.

Our eyes – they let us see. Our brain – they let us think. Our ears – they let us hear. Our sex organs – they let us reproduce and have fun. Our legs – they let us go places and kick dogs. Etc.

But surprisingly, not many realize that. A lot of people nowadays like to change or modify themselves (physically) to the extend of obsoleting the actual function of their body parts – just for the sake of hype and fashion.

Recently, I’ve noticed some changes in one of my colleagues — which is Jude’s best friend called WC. WC used to be a petite and shy girl. The type that works very hard and doesn’t give a damn about her appearance. She’s not a good looking girl but has a very commendable personality.

Now what happened to WC ? She suddenly dyed her hair the color of a very old coconut shell (that type of brown)… and did something to her eyebrows. Well, I actually have no comment over the sudden change of her hair color but it was her “new” eyebrows that spooked me. She basically plucked her eyebrows off till it became very thin… and tweaked it using black india ink (or whatever they call the thing to draw their eyebrows). So badly tweaked that it looked as if she’s frowning even when she’s very happy.

Our eyebrows actually play a very important role in the mechanism of our facial expression. Through our facial expression, people will be able to know what are we thinking and what is our emotional status. So, when we tweak it, it’s sort of like causing it to go out-of-spec… and probably would not be as efficient as it was meant to be. It’s the main thing that segregates us humans from those expressionless animals.

Anyone seen a dog with a pair of eyebrows before? How about a cat? And because they don’t have an ability to contort their eyebrows / facial muscles to make an expression – they have limited ability to communicate amongst themselves.

Take for example… cows. The way they communicate are just limited to a monotonous ‘moo’. And probably the most… would just be a longer ‘moo’… or a higher pitched ‘moo’… which could sound like ‘meeeee’ to some people. Now, add eyebrows and some ability to make facial expression. Their monotonous ‘moo’ can be translated as ‘moo ?’… when a cow makes that one sided eyebrow lift (ala The Rock style). See the advantage of having a pair of eyebrows?

So, why tamper with it? Is it that some people prefer to be like a cow? Or prefer to have a permanent fake expression etched on their face to deceive us guys? Very confusing indeed.
Alright, back to the topic of WC modifying her eyebrows.

I just don’t know how to explain my feelings when I saw WC’s set of eccentric eyebrows. It’s something between perplexed and laughing my ass off. But when I saw it, I just stood there astounded – and wondered why would she trade her natural brows to this ridiculously fake looking one. I dare not to ask her because it might just hurt her feelings.

Maybe this is just another little known behavioral deficiency of the female species … that men will never understand.

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