The Prime Minister reminded his cabinet members not to espouse corruption yesterday.

That had me thinking like, wow, what a great Prime Minister he is. I mean, had he not given the advice [not to be corrupted], mannn those kids at the cabinet probably won’t realize that corruption is a baddd baddd thing to do.

And the Malaysian public gets to see how much of these ‘lost’ kids found their way, having seen them reciprocating gratitudes (aptly titled: ‘PM’s reminder a timely one‘) in the mainstream media today . Here are some excerpts from the article for your reading convenience :

We were reminded not to be arrogant and be pre-occupied with having flashy cars and huge mansions. This reminder gives a deep meaning to new ministers like me who have been given the trust to ensure that government policies and allocations are well spent to benefit the people,” – Entrepreneur and Co-operative Development Minister Datuk Noh Omar

So this Noh guy initially had a plan, until the Prime Minister gives him the mandate that he is to be a good person, not a villain. And thus, his destiny changed. His motto now is ‘Serve the people, serve the people. Quit dicking around, quit dicking around’.

This is the best advice ever given by the Prime Minister – Youth and Sports Minister Datuk Ismail Sabri Yaakob

This advice goes even deeper for Ismail here. He felt that this is the ‘best advice EVARRR’ given by the Prime Minister. EVARRRR – as implicated in the statement, is not to be taken lightly, people. The expression ‘EVARRRR’, can only be used in situations that requires extreme caution, and you’re ill prepared to impress. Hence, this one word drastic solution. Eg of usage: Your wife tries out a new recipe and asks if you like it. Your life hanging in balance and not knowing what to say, you do the ‘EVARRR’ countermeasure – “Honey, this is the best dinner EVARRRR!”

I wonder why the PM didn’t give this advice earlier, you know? So that everything can be avoided in the first place and those numb nuts wouldn’t have siphoned money for themselves and wasted so much oxygen… But then, this Syed guy kinda answered it…

Abdullah had given the same advice before but this time it was most appropriate – Home Minister Datuk Seri Syed Hamid Albar

Syed said this time, they will listen because of the setback they had in the recent general election. That means, had they won the election, they would have continued with their ways to be a bunch of corrupted dickheads. Ergo, the big lost they had was a blessing in disguise… and the PM’s advice came timely as an enlightenment. Slow but, still effective. What a revelation.

It’s a national service and we must all be willing to work hard – Rural and Regional Development Minister Tan Sri Muhammad Muhammad Taib

Oh yeah man. He’s trying to tell everyone that being a minister, isn’t about sitting around in the office and surf porn all the time. It’s about ‘willing to work hard’ and serve the nation. He hasn’t been very articulate but, you get the idea. And I myself probably wouldn’t have known that without him telling me. “Being a minister is a national service and is all about working hard” – maannnn, what a classic.

kum bachur atzel ve’tze la’avoda

I’m sorry people, but it wasn’t me. I did not vote for those bunch of self centered greedy parasites (you know who they are).

How bout you?

I now feel tempted to know, what do you guys actually think about the Hindraf movement thingy that has been generating lots of hoohahs recently.

1) Do you think what they (the Hindraf cult/gang/movement/whatever) had done was right? Why?

2) If you’re so fucking smart, what do you think that they could have done differently to make the whole struggle a more successful one?

3) What do you think of the government? Do you think they have done anything right at all to address this whole Hindraf shebang? Elaborate please.

Of course, I’ll answer those myself. I have my own ideas. But not before I see what’s the general opinion out there first…
Please rape the commenting system if you must.. cheers.

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I always make full use of my brain when I walk. I think a lot. Work stuff, you know, like how the hell could that distant transient fuck a MOSFET on a separate circuit, was that a C or D cup on that chick’s rack, etc. It’s the nature of my job – to think a lot.

As a result of that, I can sometimes paint a false impression of a poker face to the public. It scares people sometimes, which is kind of cool… but occasionally, the effect can be dire, like how it piqued one of the shapeshifter security guards’ attention at Company X one fine day.

[The guard was doing a metal detector scan on my body...]

Shapeshifter guard : “Eh Michael, kenapa you selalu tak senyum? Senyum ler”
(translation: “Eh Michael, why are you always so gloomy. You should smile more.”)

It wasn’t said in jest, but in a way that made me feel like extremely uncomfortable. It was as if, she was trying to hit on me. More like a flirt or something. I shudder at the very thought of it.

She was like what, 45? 50? And her size was like an aged walrus with eating disorder. I can hear snores when she breathes. Why the hell would a creature of that wretched stature hit on me man? What kind of injustice was that?

Feeling repulsed, I concocted a stale and uninteresting reply to get out of the situation, delivered in a cold way

Me : “Saya tak senyum kerana gaji saya rendah, kerja saya banyak dan kucing saya mati semalam”
(translation: “I didn’t smile a lot because I am underpaid, overworked and my cat croaked last night”)

She didn’t say another word after that.

Looks like a mid-life crisis beckoning, but I’m not giving in. I’d mope a few more days and I’d be alright again…

If we shouldn’t call them people from Indonesia as ‘Indons’, then what should we call them? Any idea, people?

How bout ‘chimneys’? Or ‘pollutants’? Or just ‘shitbags’? ‘morons’?