Archive for the ‘rantings’ Category

May 24, 2017

disrespectful pricks

A week ago, I had the privilege to attend a technical sharing by an expert, who single-handedly designed and developed almost all the specialized machines/equipments we used in our line of work. Guy was a Mexican-American and has a big heart. Helpful and courteous. My kind of bro.

This time round, he came all the way from the US to share his new innovation, which is way more complex, but would eventually make our life in engineering and automation very much more bearable. It was a 2-days’ event with limited seats, and not many of us get the privilege to be in it. For those of us who got the opportunity to be in this event? We’re amongst the luckiest sons of bitches in Company T, but sadly, not many of those fucknuts know that.

You see, the sad thing about this was, I noticed a lot of the attendees were doing their own stuff during the technical sharing. Their laptops were on, and they were working on their keyboards all the time (the clacking sound was annoying enough). Some would fidget with their phones, chat with each other and came into the room late enough to ask dumbass questions. I don’t know what have we been feeding them fucking kids at Uni/College, but that is not an acceptable thing to me.

I was thinking – If you’re so busy with work that you have to goddamn stay glued to your fucking laptop all the time, then why bother attending that event in the first place? Being away from your workdesk and not able to concentrate in the technical sharing, you’d bound to lose both anyway… So, why bother? Just fucking decline the event and get real. Let others who want to learn be there instead. I could only imagine how would that Mexican guy feel, to see so many young but ignorant engineers putting their resources to waste and being such disrespectful pricks. All of them deserved to get punched in their kidneys until they need dialysis.

I was so fucking mad that I dragged 3 of my teammates after the event (2 of whom I caught doing Facebook and Whatsapp) and gave them a life changing lecture. The words ‘kurang ajar’ and ‘bangang’ were pitched into my tirade of anger.

michaelooi  | rantings, work shit  | Comments Off
May 15, 2017

branded education

Do guys you know what’s the hottest dumb shit parents are into lately? Branded education. Branded as in, famous, glorified, good reputation, etc.

I don’t know if this is just happening in Penang but, there seems to be this common perception in the society that our government funded schools are for bottom feeders. i.e. They suck. That’s why we have a lot of these private schools popping up all over Penang to exploit insecure yuppie parents main gripe about their parenting obligation – that their children are not getting the best they can afford. That’s why, in Penang, most middle class and above families tend to want their kids to study in one of these ‘prestigious private schools’ that they can best afford.

And if you have such friends in Penang, you’ll hear them yapping about which of these institutions that they’re planning to send their kids to, and what kind of procedure they need to follow to get them accepted. Some of the schools, as I learned, requires some background check. Some even require the applicant (the damn kid) to go for a goddamn interview (can you believe it??), or worse, an entry exam. Of course, one is expected to fit a certain stringent requirements or pass a certain grade to be able to get accepted in that ‘prestigious’ school. It’s as if, they’re trying to make themselves discrete like they’re Harvard or Princeton, or something the like.

One may think this is preposterous but, believe me, people are flocking all over these damn schools to enroll their children! Prestigious school worr… why lose out such opportunity?? Most of them have good track records of high scores! Goddamn! Have these parents ever thought, to have all the smart kids studying in the same place – won’t that be the very reason it’s ‘a good school’ in the first place? Like, if a kid’s already smart enough to pass the strict entry exam to get enrolled, what else is there for the kid to improve or learn? It’s just going to increase the average performance of the entire institution (and you get charged for that). Shouldn’t a good school be doing something the total opposite instead? Like you dump in a kid who underperforms, and he comes out an overachiever? But alas, that’s not what’s happening.

One of the many things I don’t get about the society.

michaelooi  | rantings  | Comments Off
December 26, 2016

hairdressers 2

My perpetual search for a cheap haircut brought me to the neighborhood of Greenlane, a small seedy ‘salon’ (anything can be called a salon these days) near a marketplace which reminded me of the porcine housewife hairdresser at Batu Lanchang I liked many years back, who gave an awesome haircut. I shouldn’t have been this naive but, what the hell.

I should’ve guessed from the signs beforehand that it’s going to be bad. First of all, the patrons there comprised of only old hags – I should have made a u-turn to get the fuck out of there, but I didn’t. The salon owner was the sole worker there, and she specializes in setting up old people’s hair. But I had to go ask if she provides a haircut, which she ardently asked me to take a seat first while she gave one of the octogenarians there a ‘blow job’ (a blow dry with a hairdryer).

The second sign, was when she asked me to help her remove a stuck extension 3-pin-sockets – you know, one of those 1-plug-to-3-sockets that allows more devices to be plugged in to the same socket. The darn thing was stuck, and there hadn’t been any guy around to remove that for her. From what I reckoned, that place hadn’t seen a male DNA for months, and I was the chosen one. I was quick to notice that she was using a 2k watt hairdryer and the socket thing basically melted the fuck off in there because of that. This is a sign that the ‘salon’ wasn’t making enough money to add extra electrical sockets and she had to resort to buy some cheap ass extenders that just couldn’t take the kind of load. I should have made a beeline to the exit, but I didn’t. I stayed on to find out how deep does the rabbit hole goes.

The third sign, was when I saw her frantically searching for her hair clipper, and its extender, which was tightly wrapped in a plastic bag that hadn’t seen light for months. This was an ominous sign that no one ever goes there for a haircut. I should have fucking elbowed her in the pancreas and take a dash or dive through the exit door. But I didn’t. I sat on the hairdressing chair like a dolt, and let the fucking biddy rape my head with all her bullshit. The end result? Was this catastrophic haircut that made me look like a cross between Ringo Starr and some traditional Iban tribals. My IQ point immediate went down 10 points when I looked into the mirror and my daughter nearly disowned me. I wanted to yell at her but, I was too shocked to do anything, so I paid and immediately left to limit the damage.

I initially thought I could just wax up my hair, but it seemed obvious to me that I was definitely going to get my ass dished to me at work by anyone who sees me. So I decided to take another trip to my other regular hairdressing place at a hypermarket (which I regularly visit, read here) and requested for an emergency ‘fix’ from the tomboy hairdresser.

“So, where did you say you got this haircut again? An Indian barber shop?”
“Worse, it was a seedy salon at a marketplace ran by an old housewife…”
*snigger* “An old housewife… well, she didn’t cut you clean… it seems… You’re lucky this can still be fixed.”

And she recommended me to go G.I. with a ‘little bit of fringe to maintain some decent style’. It was the best she could do. And I had no choice but to go along with that. That’s why I fucking sport a G.I now and I fucking deserved it for being such a goddamn retard.

michaelooi  | rantings  | Comments Off
November 1, 2016

self conscious

I don’t understand how some people can be so lack of self conscious that they can’t fucking tell if they have a really bad case of body odor. I have that self conscious all the time. I know it when I smell and I’d do something about it like taking a shower or simply mask that shit with a body spray or something. Not because I give a shit but, because I don’t like the attention (alright, I give a shit).

But some people, they’d go around stinking up the place like nobody business, case in point was this cocksucker I stumbled upon in the morning at Company T cafeteria a couple days back. A scraggy Indian guy with a bald spot big enough to make his head ticks form a flat-Earth society, who stinked like he had just came out of a box full of squashed roaches. I was unfortunate enough to be standing behind him at the cafeteria cashier (fuck my life) when I caught a whiff of this cibai human tear gas. I almost keeled over and spilled my breakfast on the floor! People like him shouldn’t be allowed into the civilization!

I can totally understand that if

A) that guy was to be a laborer who had worked the whole day under the hot sun.
B) it was close to the end of the day

But Company T is a place full of white collar workers! And it was 7am in the morning! When every-fucking-one is suppose to still smell fresh from the morning shower! Who the fuck stinks like that early at 7am in the fucking morning!? This fucking Indian manager guy! God fucking damn I don’t know how much longer I can stand not beating up someone and end up in jail

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September 21, 2016

iPhone 7

I have a couple of friends who have been waiting for the iPhone 7 for months.

When it was finally revealed a few weeks ago, I could tell that they’re somewhat disappointed… but instead of showing their disappointment overtly about it, they feigned excitement about the product… which sickened me. And one of them even expressed that he’d still buy it despite its glaring shortcomings. I mean, what the fuck’s that all about!? One minute that guy complains about the stupid phone not having a goddamn headphone jack, and the next minute he wants to spend a fortune buying that piece of crap! That was when I realized that this isn’t really about a product being good or bad… it’s about the perceived social status being seen with a fucking iPhone.

So, despite being a crappier phone than it already was in the line, I think this goddamn iPhone 7 could actually still sell well. Thanks to you morons. One of my whore hound booze buddy, who is an iPhone fanboy, uses his fucking iPhone to boost his self confidence (or the lack of). He’s definitely going to get one when it is available. Nevermind that he doesn’t even fucking know how to use 80% of the phone’s features (he isn’t smart enough to even pair a fucking bluetooth device with it). He just needs one to start a conversation. *flashes phone to a waitress/chick*

“What do you think of my new iPhone? Neat eh?” *starts a conversation.

See my point? Makes me puke in my mouth. I guess the same can be said about people patronizing outlets like Starbucks or Coffee Bean. They just want to be seen pretentiously using an expensive Macbook Air sipping expensive coffee…

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