Oh, I hate Malaysian roads. Look at them, always being dug & patched … patched & dug again. If it is not the cables, it would be the pipes that they burrow. And our professional “bas-kilang” (factory bus) will eventually make more craters & pot holes out of the tar-patches – and more frustration will ensure. (this will go perpetually like a cycle)

Recently, there has been a month long road construction along the route to Emily’s workplace. This time, they are not burying anything. The plan is to elevate the road several feet higher, hence, they have to shut down 2 of the existing 4 lanes to be able to carry out the work. This, of course, has caused a massive congestion to the entire industrial zone.

Now, to make the matter worse, there are plenty of trucks that use this road. With the recent heavy downpour, the 2 lanes have turned into full of pot holes and became something like a rally route. Driving through it will be like an adventure in Paris-Dakar expedition. Some of the potholes are actually big enough to stall a small Kancil’s wheel. So, basically, the road is like, totally not roadworthy at all.

As a result of that, the commuters went ahead to find an alternative way to weave through the mayhem, and they found one – a route which requires driving through the opposite direction into a smaller lane. And the whole place is now like a warzone.

I’m now so fucking fed-up of getting stuck at that screwed up road everyday. I mean, did the authority actually analyze the traffic situation before they decide to do anything at all? Did they even think of how are they going to execute the plans to mitigate the jam and stuff? I fucking doubted that.

So, nothing good has actually happened to me lately. I have been in my solemn mood for the past 2 weeks now… and I’m finding it hard to be optimistic about anything at all.

Just hope it will all be over soon.

I began my Saturday by sending my car for servicing and then went to visit dad at Hospice. Dad isn’t looking good. His health is deteriorating fast and he looks very tired and has a slurry speech. His stomach is now bloated with fluid and has swollen legs. I couldn’t explain how bad it feels to see your own father suffering like that. I just don’t know how to put this whole thing in words…

Anyway, after visited dad, I drove back to Emily’s hometown in Perak as schedule. It was raining very heavily on the highway and the driving experience was unpleasant. Could hardly see the goddamn road. Reached at about noon and I began my suffering from thence.

Imagine, this was what I had to endure – no tv, no entertainment, no internet connection and heck, even no mobile phone signals. I spent the whole day sitting around doing nothing. Wanted to help out in the kitchen, but there was already a maid there. Wanted to help out in the shop (yes, Emily’s family lives in a business shophouse) – but they’ve got enough helpers already.

And the place was also littered with kids – Emily’s nephews and nieces. They were running around and screaming like there is not going to be another tomorrow. With so many kids around, I kept finding myself stepping on some unidentified objects on the floor – pukes, bread crumbs, grains of rice, you name it.

And for the whole day, they would watch the same video program over and over again – you know, the kind where one gets to see some stupid clown doing absurd stuffs to amuse kids and teaches them how to spell B-O-R-I-N-G at the same time. The person who invented that children educational video ought to be hung and shot repeatedly. I really can’t understand… we’ve already got so many nurseries, kindergartens and schools to educate our children (and they are expensive). Why the fuck would we need more educational videos for kids then? If the educational videos are so good, then why bother sending them to nurseries or kindergartens?

Anyway, being there was like my worst nightmare came true. After being in torment for a day, I was quick to urge Emily to leave the place immediately after my breakfast this morning. And we’re back in Penang in no time, and then I went to visit my ailing dad.

He started to sleep a lot now. His condition has worsened from the day before. I don’t know but, I think I’m going to lose my dad very soon. His time is almost up. I can feel it. And I’m very sad right now.

I hope dad will get over his sufferings soon, and then leave in peace.

It has been raining cats & dogs since yesterday. Non-stop. Good for me, because the weather will be cooler and that’s always better than the stinking hot weather.

Actually the weather was too good for me — that I overslept. I did not wake up on time today. If not for Emily’s violent shaking, I probably would have slept through the whole morning. Realizing that I am late, I had to rush to work to make it on time, only to find out that all my efforts were for nothing because there was a massive congestion on the Bridge.

Gosh, I am so fucking tired of my life.
I am tired of having to endure the traffic jam everyday.
I am tired of worrying about my financial beings.
I am tired of driving the same stupid car.
I am tired of yelling the same obscenities at errant drivers everyday.
I am tired of checking out pretty looking girls from the back, only to discover them looking like a frog from the front.

I am in serious need of entertainment and recreational activities. Something like a good massage, endless supply of booze… or maybe if it’s still not too much, a PS2 with my favorite games to kill off any remnants of boredom – while getting paid to do all that :P

I guess I’ll be gloomy for the next few days – for I already know that I’m not going to enjoy my weekend this time. I’ll be accompanying Emily back to her boring hometown tomorrow… and I feel like crap already.

I was busy doing heaps of reports when my phone rang. It was my colleague Asstee on the line.

Asstee : “Hey mike… where are you now?”

Me : “I’m at my …. hey, wait a minute… you are calling my desk and you are asking where am I? Are you high on drugs or something?”

Asstee : “Ish .. Ish … ok ok … I screwed up. I don’t know why I asked you that.”

Me : “…”

Well, crazy shit like this happens all the time – we like to ask something silly (or are we under utilizing most of our brain? whatever). This is especially common in Malaysia / Singapore. In Cantonese, it’s called “fai-wa” (talking through your lungs – means to jabber some nonsense) Here are some of the examples I have actually encountered before :

- Location: Restaurant. Met a friend there. He asked me “coming out for lunch ?”
- Location: My lab. A colleague called the lab phone & asked “are you in the lab right now?”
- Location: Beach. My ex-gf asked me “Do you love me?” (that’s a classic)
- Location: Mamak stall. Friend ordered something “Milo panas bagi ais”

Something like that. Ask ourselves, how many times in a day do we hear something that doesn’t sound right at all?

Actually, Rob made the same boner yesterday as well. My entire department was attending a short presentation by one of the dickhead VPs (let’s label him as Bryan) and at the end of the presentation, Bryan asked, “Any question?” ..

Then I saw Rob raise his hand and stood up. He said loudly “I have 2 questions!” and then paused, as if he’s waiting for some kind of respond from Bryan. Dumbfounded, Bryan replied to Rob “Well, ask your questions then!”. I could see plenty of sneers inside the room, because Rob’s a fucking dick.

I ashamed of him as my boss.

Rob didn’t come to work today … so … the day was kind of relaxing … because I don’t have to see his fucking face.

Tomorrow will be my turn to MIA, as I will on my day off to accompany my dad to the hospital again. His leg is not doing very good – he is starting to limp … he is having a hard time to even walk. Don’t know why. Maybe it is his crashed liver. We’re going to the doctor tomorrow to find out. Hopefully, the doctor can do something about it. No one deserves to suffer like that.

But then, I’m not expecting much. Like, how could I expect someone to fix him back… for all the damage he had been giving to himself? It’s quite impossible, really. To be so ignorant for so many years, and then expect things to patch up just like that.

And this has also been so unfair to me. How much problem do I have to fix before i can lead a peaceful life? These family affairs of mine really get me down sometimes. They come wave after wave… no signs of stopping. I guess, when I was born, the stars were all in the wrong orientation (if they’re for real)… and perhaps that explains why I have to bear the misfortune for all my life.

And that’s probably why i don’t believe in God. If they really existed … there wouldn’t have been so much problem in this world in the first place.

It is time like this that makes me really envy those rich kids with happy families. They don’t have to give a shit about how much they’re going to spend their parents’ money. They don’t have to worry too much about their ambition. Nope … they don’t. They don’t have to worry a single thing about the balance of their family’s financial status. They’d just have to worry about how much money to ask for when they want to go bowling or fuel up a big ass car. How I wish I get to do all that.