Archive for the ‘rantings’ Category

May 4, 2010

I’m so fucking tired of this shit

Can you guys see that red arrow, and the character it is pointing at? If you think it is the letter ‘P’, you’re dead wrong. That thing is suppose to be a ‘9’, as in, the numeric number NINE.

This is written on one of the many boxes of shipment I receive from Hong Kong every day. And every box that is suppose to have a ‘9’ on it, is written this way – a crooked ‘P’. Whoever the fucked up turd who wrote this every day, can’t write the number ‘9’ for shit. And I am so fucking tired of this shit. Can’t believe this guy actually got hired. He should be fucking jobless.

*the boxes are supposed to come with printed barcode stickers, but these people from Hong Kong are too ignorant, dumb and fucked up to give a damn about it. I’m so tired of this shit.

michaelooi  | rantings  | 8 Comments
April 29, 2010

my plan

You know, ever since people learned about me leaving Company X, I kept getting this same jerk-off question from around (mostly from the managers) :

So Michael, what is your plan after this?

The first thing that always comes into my mind is – you’ve got to be kidding me. What do they mean ‘what is my plan’? Isn’t it obvious enough? My plan is to fucking look for a job! What is wrong with you people!?

Of course I would never lash out at them like this. It’s never right to burn bridges. But I sometimes would give a sarcastic reply like – “I plan to become a monk and meditate all day”, and get a kick out of myself seeing them get uncomfortable.

Fucking feel good questions. Things that you can definitely do without. It’s only for morons who do not have the aptitude to even hold a decent conversation, but want to do it anyway.


naa.

michaelooi  | rantings  | 9 Comments
March 2, 2010

be a sport

This morning, I heard from a friend relating about how his boss was so bitter about an asshole manager who instigated some of his ‘talented’ workers to defect to another department. That was when I remarked to my colleague – “Your boss is a sore loser”.

That’s right. For whining like a cheebye. Instead of figuring out why his employees left his department, that guy chose to whine and bitch about how unethical it is for someone to woo away his workers. Boo hoo. It is as if his employees belonged to him like a commodity, and are destined to work for him forever.

Then I said to my friend – “Didn’t your boss read ‘Romance of the Three Kingdoms’?”

You can’t keep a great general in confinement doing menial things. A great general is born to do great things, expecting great rewards. If you do not provide enough for him, it will be a matter of time before that great person decides to leave for a better prospect. If for some strange reason the general choose to be a bum working for you for a lesser reward, then that general must not have been that ‘great’ in the first place, or he must have hurt his head pretty bad when he was a kid.

Same here. You can’t expect your employees to be happy with their job if you do not provide enough to keep them there. Common sense 101.

Think we’re all here working for the company? We’re here for the money, numbnut – if you don’t know that already. No money, no honey. And even if the money’s good, it still pretty much boils down to how satisfying and rewarding the job itself is — to sustain my psyche — although that can still be compromised with a huge paycheck. There you go.

If you’re one of those whiny boss, be a sport. This is strictly business, nothing personal. Just shut the fuck up and spare your generals’ backs please.

michaelooi  | rantings  | 3 Comments
February 23, 2010

CNY rant II

Chinese New Year. It is a period when you get to see all these people trying to dress to impress. They’re like a bunch of creepy crawlies hiding under a rock for the whole year, and suddenly, all appear at the same time to show everyone that they’re doing real well or something. Especially the housewives. Having been staying at home the whole year, they’d go all out to look like a motherfucking clown. You know, extreme makeover, and expensive hairdo held by a shitload of hairspray.

Things that I don’t fucking understand.

Scorching 33 degrees C, and I can’t believe that there are people who’d still hairspray their hair and put on an inch thick of makeup just to visit some relatives. Imagine the discomfort. The hairspray will melt, and release all these noxious fumes in the car. Some of it would plop down and pave another layer of sticky substance over the face. And as they dab the mixture of sweat, hairspray and chemicals off their wrinkled face with a tissue paper, bits of the paper would stick on their face, and then they’d use the same fucking tissue paper to wipe their mouth – ingesting the chemicals in the process, and subsequently suffer some form of brain damage. And then throughout the whole year (with the damaged brain), they’d give us a hard time by being irrational, driving like a stupid fuck endangering lives and being a consummate bitch.

The other day, I saw a lady in her mid 70’s sporting this Michael Jackson wig hairdo near my place. Visiting relatives or something. I couldn’t help but wonder, how embarrassing it must be for her children (whom I reckon must be in their 50s or 60s). Well, at least it would be for me. I’d imagine myself make up stories to the host that my mom’s not feeling well and the drugs are making her wacky. And how hard it would be for them to be in the same car with her, slowly suffocating from the strong hairspray fume – crowbarring their lungs and livers.

So much for an auspicious New Year. I wonder if hairsprays are made flammable for a specific reason…

michaelooi  | rantings  | 6 Comments
February 11, 2010

CNY rant

I don’t understand why Company X management likes to give out mandarin oranges during CNY. They’d order a truck of those crappy mandarin oranges – which taste like a can of paint – and have a bunch of its high level employees wasting the whole day, just to coordinate the distribution of those cheebye oranges.

I was pissed because one of them had to excuse himself from attending a meeting of mine to participate in the so called 1Malaysia spirit to distribute the oranges in the office. Like we’re all dying to eat the fucking oranges. It was mind boggling to see execs like that lowlife of a scumbag giving priority to this trivial matter over a potential million dollar deal.

And what’s even more fucked up, was after a whole day’s work of being busy doing real work, I was greeted by this mound of oranges on my office desk. There were 4 different types of them, and about a dozen in quantity. Half of them, came without a plastic bag or a holder. In other words, I can’t fucking carry all of them home unless I can find a plastic bag, which I can’t, or if I have 2 extra hands. So the bunch of soggy headed motherfuckers must be expecting us employees to hoover at least half a dozen of those crappy tasting oranges in the office to boost our productivity, until the number’s good enough for us to handcarry them out.

Why can’t they just fucking give us a 5 ringgit angpow instead? They would have saved all the trouble ordering, transporting and distributing those goddamn oranges! Fucking idiots.

michaelooi  | rantings  | 13 Comments