Archive for the ‘ramblings’ Category

June 2, 2019

things that make my day

It was the long weekend and I was at Cecil Street with my family to grab a lunch. As expected, the place was crowded with outstation weekenders, it was chaotic there. It was hot, humid, smoky, shoulders to shoulders with strangers… and we were struggling to find a table.

As I inched through the madness, I spotted a table, right in front of my favorite coffee stall. “Damn!” I thought, the planets must have aligned to my favor that day… and promptly made a beeline to the table, sat myself there. As soon as I sat down, there stood this obese middle aged lady with a Karen hairstyle dyed shit brown who probably is against vaccination, glowering at me like I had punched her huge fat tits with a knuckle duster with spikes. She must have set eyes on that table from far, but was taken by me first. I could see the disappointment in her eyes, and there was a little bit of her soul that died inside her that moment.

I don’t know why but, the whole thing sort of made my day that day. First getting the table, and second, seeing that fat Karen’s disappointment of not getting that table. Hell, even the food tasted better, for some unfathomable reasons. I’m a sick, sick, man. ;-D

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May 3, 2019

‘Z’

Anyone noticed that some people could not pronounce the letter ‘Z’ properly? It sounded like they’re trying to pronounce a ‘J’ instead. Like the word zoo? They’d go ‘joo’. Jacuzzi would be called ‘jacuji’. Zombie would be ‘jombie’. Zero will be ‘jilo’. Fucking hilarious shit. *wipes tears*
I noticed that this speech impediment affects mostly the Chinese educated folks. I thought it was an education thingy, but there are some Chinese ed people I know who aren’t like that at all.

So what the fuck is this all about?

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March 10, 2018

lost dreams

One of the rookie engineers in my team offered to drive to a group lunch, and we had some light chat in the car to keep things less awkward. You know, with the age gap and all that. But for some strange reasons that day, he chose to lament what must had been lingering in his mind for a long time, but had no one to express his thoughts to…

“You know, if you have a 100k followers Instagram account, you’ll be paid handsomely for a product review on your account?”

Old ass me didn’t know that of course. I know that a lot of bloggers or Youtube account owners get paid shitloads for to pimp out products and ads. But this was something new for me.

“Really? I know about Youtube, but I didn’t know about Instagram.”

“Yeah, I’m talking about, getting five figured payout each month”

“Seriously? Now I know why I get so much spam from random strangers…”

“That’s why a lot of young people nowadays wanted to strive a 100k Instagram account, instead of something useful, like a proper career”

I was surprised that coming from him. Because in my thoughts, young rookie people are ignorant and apathetic. They listen to stupid songs, and they do stupid attention seeking things like selfie in front of an oncoming train or breastfeed a kid while doing yoga – all for counts and hits in their social account website. Now it all makes sense.

“That’s a good point actually. I once asked a friend’s kid, what he wanted to be when he grows up, he told me a ‘Youtuber’. Back in my days, kids wanted to be a doctor or a lawyer! Like, what happened to the world?”

“Yeah, that’s what I’m trying to say. People wants to do stupid meaningless things now instead of real dreams.”

“I hear you, man.”

People used to have dreams. But something has gone terribly wrong and now, the new generation no longer have dreams. The possibility of being able to earn money via hits and counts with an online account, has shaped them into desperate whores, who’d do anything to get more followers in the virtual world… and this has paved the way to social decadence like spreading fake news and partaking dangerous activities (doing stunts on top of high buildings, destroying properties, etc) much to the amusement of their similar minded ‘followers’.

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October 20, 2017

what the ladies do not know

My wife asked me this (this was some time back) one day, after some coffee talk with her bunch of female colleagues :

“If you get the chance to stay at home and be a full time house-husband, and I’d be the breadwinner of the family, would you do it?”

I reckoned that there must’ve been a wager of some sort between them, that men are full of ego, can’t live without status and staying at home is like a death sentence to their masculinity. Oh, how I wish I could tell them to their face how wrong they’ve been. But, I get to say this to my wife:

“Hell yeah! What a deal this is! I’d agree to it without a second thought!”

I could see some disappointment in her eyes with my answer. But it’s an honest answer. Seriously, if anyone could pay me to be at home and upkeep the family with just my pure labor, I’d sign up for it. It’s better than having an ego and make yourself toil out there with that bunch of simian assholes whom you’d call ‘co-workers’, and act like everything’s gonna be fine whilst you know your ass is up for a retrenchment in a matter of time. Every goddamn wage earner nowadays, dread of the time when there’s a change in management and his/her job is then on the line, wondering whether he/she is going to make it to the next paycheck without having to worry about having the means to sustain the current lifestyle.

And if you make an effort to improve your life like say, buying a new car or a piece of nice furniture, a little bit of you dies away with the grim thought of the consequence of this act if you were to fucking lose your job tomorrow. It’s a guilt that will never go away, and it’s gonna haunt you like your own shadow. Hence, the stress. Gone were the time when you can work for 30 – 40 fucking years without having to worry about a thing till your pubic hair goes grey. Everything is at warp speed and everything is temporary now. There’s simply not enough jobs for everyone, and the ovens that churn the cakes are shrinking in numbers due to modernization. The old farts are usually first to go, and the older you get, the more you are susceptible, and the harder for you to look for a job (who wants to hire an overpaid old fart?). Go figure.

I know being a stay-at-home parent isn’t easy (neither does earning wages out there). But at least you’re not competing with those suckasses who only suck dicks (and asses) for a living at home (you’d be the best, in fact), and you do not have to worry about job security. So hell yeah, I’d stay at home and not worry about those things. I think it’s a good deal.

(Some of my wife’s colleagues asked their spouse the same question – and they got the same answer).

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January 11, 2016

at your age??

I was in a pharmacy to quick grab something the other day, and was stuck in a queue at the cashier behind this middle aged woman (in her early or mid 50’s) in an office attire. She could have passed to most of us as the ‘lady boss look’, you know… bunned-up hair, light makeup, drab looking handbag. A typical finance manager kind of look, if you would like to imagine that.

Nothing off about her, except the stuff she was buying. She was holding a few packs of condoms, and a large bottle of Durex gel based lube (well, judging from her age, she must be as dry as a bucket of sand…). She nonchalantly dropped the merchandise on the counter, and asked the cashier if there are further discounts for bigger bulk purchase. The first thing that came to my mind was “What the hell?? At her age??”. No I wasn’t being judgmental or anything, but that’s just a thought that came out of reflex.

Anyway, fast forward a few weeks later, I went back to this same pharmacy again and this time, with my wife. My wife wanted to buy an ovulation kit for one of her colleagues, and I was there to accompany her. An ovulation kit is basically like the pregnancy checking stick, only that it checks for ovulation instead of pregnancy. Main purpose is to determine when’s the best time to have sex to conceive a baby (whereas a pregnancy kit serves no purpose except to deliver the good/bad news).

Naturally, like all other times when we were purchasing stuff, I had to be the one to queue up to pay for the merchandise. Holding on a box of ovulation kit, with disheveled hair and flip flops, it was there and then I realized that someone in the queue (it was a younger lady) could be looking at me and think the very same thought I had about the middle aged lady finance manager that few weeks ago – “What the hell?? At his age??”.

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