I sent this to the World’s Local Bank today…

*****

I would like to voice my dissatisfaction about a recent bad experience with HSBC service.

Today, I was trying to transfer a certain amount of fund to a third party (who owns a HSBC acc) through your Internet transfer function. But however, when I was trying to do that, I was prompted with a message that my transfer limit has been reduced to Zero and was given a 1300 number to call.

I called the number and after being made to wait for approximately long enough to cook a pack of instant noodles, I was greeted with a helpdesk personnel who can’t seem to help me at all with my transfer problems. He later asserted that my transfer limit has been reset to ZERO due to my inactivity in transferring money to any third party accounts for more than 1 year, and subsequently, nulled my transfer capability. In order to regain my account’s online transfer capability, I’ll have to reinstate my transfer limit with the bank.

I asked if there’s anything the online guy can somehow help me reinstate that transfer limit, I was asked for my telebanking pin number (which I don’t remember, since i have been doing my banking ONLINE for the past couple years). I have my internet security clearance, my ATM pin and even all the information about my own self to prove that I am me, but I still need the goddamn telebanking pin to get my transfer limit set.

I asked again if he can help me get the pin, he said I need to personally go to the bank to get that. How convenient is that. All the troubles, so that I can comfortably sit on my chair to do my internet banking. Wow. I then politely thanked that helpdesk vegetable and hung up.

Then, I found a ‘request telebanking pin’ at the menu on your online banking page on the left. I lighted up like a bulb and clicked on it. Lo and behold, I was prompted with that 1300 number again - WHICH, I’ve already called earlier (and already learnt that it’s useless). I got frustrated and gave up on everything. I finally changed my mind about transferring that amount of money to my friend who’s probably starving to death waiting for that CD-R money he paid in advance for my squandering ass. Good for you HSBC, you’ve just psychologically influenced me to change my mind on executing an action in reality through your bureaucratic mind-numbing requirements.

I was wondering, what is the logic behind such a ridiculous rule (that stupid one year inactivity rule). If I had already set a limit previously, and why in the world would I want it to be nulled a year later? If I want it nulled, I would have told you myself, right? The purpose of online banking is to have that convenience of being able to exercise my banking at home, anytime at my discretion. Now this rule, voids that purpose.

If this is about security, then haven’t you guys already implemented that battery operated security code doohickey for us to press at to get online? Isn’t that supposed to prevent terrorists from unrightfully transfer our hard earned money into their camel’s account somewhere in the Middle east? I really do not get this.

This, clearly, is not my idea of a good customer experience. Probably this feedback of mine matters not to you, since I’m not a millionaire who’s going to make any difference to your corporate’s wealth reserve or something. But the least I think what can happen, is a few more unhappy customers like me, would relate our negative views to our relatives and friends, who in turn, would do the same to their friends too, and the idea would exponentially ramifies into a larger audience, and by then, all your credit card salespeople would have to peddle for pirated DVDs to make up for the lost income. It wouldn’t be good.

So, I hope that you - whoever’s logging this feedback message - would take this seriously, and use it to improve your future service.

Some new tenant moved into the unit above our apartment a few weeks ago. How did we know? Because of the change in the acoustic pattern of somebody walking above our head. From basically nothing, to THUMP THUMP THUMP. Twenty four fucking hours (apparently, they never sleep). It’s really annoying for the first few days, but after a while, we kinda grew accustomed to it.

So, life goes on.

Last week, the new tenant(s), started a whole new level of their noise making flair. This time, it’s CLUNK CLUNK CLUNK, of something being repeatedly hit with a heavy mallet. Sometimes, there were even sounds of furniture being dragged across the floor. Like they’ve just discovered the laws of physics and vibrations there. Initially we thought maybe these people were just adjusting their new furniture, you know, since they’ve just moved in not long ago and all that. So, we compromised, and thought that it would be over soon when they’re done with it.

But we were wrong.

The knockings not only became more constant, but louder as well. There were a few times, Regine got jolted up from her sleep and scared the living shit out of her. As a result, she began to suffer somekind of an insomnia, and eventually developed colic. Emily, being the most affected by all the commotion, decided to confront the bunch of uncivilized apes, lest that our daughter would grow up to be emotionally disturbed. She went up there, and subtly threw them a courteous but sarcastic remarks

“Hi I’m your neighbour from the unit below your’s. I noticed that you people have been knocking on something for the past few nights… I was wondering, if you can knock a little less harder? That’s because the noise is scaring the shit out of my infant daughter and it keeps waking her from her sleep.” [wide smile]

(the tenants comprise of 3 individuals: 2 blimp guys and a skeletal chick whom my mom described as ‘extremely repugnant looking piece of shit’)

They kinda complied, but there were still occasional furniture dragging. We kinda gave up on that one. After all, they’re just renting the place. You can’t expect those people to be considerate just because you have a sleeping baby. (being sensitive to noise is part and parcel of having a baby)

Again, we lived with it.

But this morning, something happened. I discovered a dent mark on my car door, which I was absolutely positive, that it’s induced by that retarded lowlife tenant. How so?
a) Their parking lot is next to mine (yes, very unfortunate indeed)
b) That fucking neighbour always park his car overlapping my lot, leaving a narrow space not big enough to walk through a midget.
c) I check my car for dents each time I alight my car, and the dent wasn’t there the last time I checked it.
d) I haven’t parked anywhere else except my workplace and my own parking lot for the past 1 month. My workplace lot is wide enough to park 1.5 cars and it’s ‘immune’ to swiveling door hits.
e) The dent mark MATCHES the height and swiveling radius of the tenant’s car.

I’m so fucking upset about the whole shebang right now. Having had to put up with those mongoloids at my workplace and enough asshole neighbours, now I had to deal with these neanderthals from hell. Why can’t just everyone be like any average civilized person? What the fuck is wrong with all these people? Why are there so many pricks inside my world?

I’m finding it more and more difficult to blend into the way of our society. It’s debilitating me off all the positive aspects of life. I don’t find interacting with a fellow human pleasant anymore. I’d rather do it with a lizard. At least I can expect a lizard to be less intelligent, and I know it won’t be able to wreck my car in any way (unless it was unfortunate enough to stuck in between the valves, which might fuck the engine…)

I have a hunch, that I’m not going to be a very healthy person when I grow old. Either I’m gonna fucking die out of stroke, or I’m going to develop an acute depression complex that’s gonna make me a psycho going postal around the neighbourhood. Perhaps I should stop taking everything in life too personal. Maybe I should take drugs haze up my brain or something.

Right now, I’m thinking of how to confront those cavemen after work today. The medieval way? Or the white collar way.

You people pay taxes and shits, just so that our country would prosper. Just so that our life would get better. Just so that our youngs get enough education, and be that much wiser to LEAD and do better than what we’ve all been doing. And we hope that the process would repeat itself perpetually for subsequent generations, braving through the uncertainty of future and paving over the hardships of the past (whatever lah)

But we have a problem here. What if our children are too fucking stupid to pick up the baton and pass along? Instead of appreciating the peace that their forefathers have fought for them, they misuse their wisdom to fight for lost causes, such as some absurd “pro-establishment something something”, and go around heckling other students (girls, emaciated pale looking blokes), citing abusive remarks and even resorting to violence.

Just like that bunch of idiots at UPM. The bunch of thug looking pieces of shits that has nothing better to do, but to riot like they’re going against the Malayan Union and communist pigs. Trashing around the university cafeteria, shouting like vagabonds, acting like hooligans. Is that what you people want your children to become? And they still think they’re damn cool and are doing the country a favour. What a hopeless bunch of jerks.

If you still don’t know what is happening here, I suggest you check out this article, and this video here (it’s a 10MB video, but worth the download. To download, right click on the link, and select “Save Link As” if you’re on FireFox, and “Save Target As” if you’re on Internet Explorer).

I’d suggest you people spread the news around. Check on your friends and childrens. Don’t let them be like this. Lecture them, confront them, sedate them if you must. But don’t let them ever behave like this in public. It’s an embarassment to your family. To your culture. To our nation. To mankind.

Now, I’ll definitely gonna think twice before hiring anyone from UPM (those face that I recognize from the video? They aren’t going to get any job from me. That’s for sure.)

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The management cares for you. How often do you hear that. They always care for you. They always believe in work life balance. They give you benefits, they give you privileges and a big rewards that no other company has ever offered before. Big fucking deal.

Just like that Employee Health Screening Program crap that we have in Company X. I can see a lot of the people around my workplace seem to be very excited about it. “Oh I can’t wait to find out if I have thallasemia or leukemia or kaninia… Oh I’m so fucking thrilled like that!!! Weeoooweeeoo!!”. They somehow think that it’s a boon to be able to scrounge that free health screening deal from the company. That’s needless to say, is so fucking dumb of them people.

I wonder if they have ever thought about it, why did they get high blood pressure and those nasty cholesterols in the first place. If you haven’t yet void of the ability think, then you may actually be able to figure it out (like me), that it’s all originated from the same source - that’s right, it’s all from the shits that they have been condending at work. The deluging workload… the ever stagnant wage… the exponentially mounting stress… the perils of having to stand incredibly stupid people that seems to be all converging at the same place… list goes on…

And because they have no choice but to spend half of their miserable lives toiling inside that wretched hellhole, their blood pressure shot up through the roof, their networks of arteries clogged, their kidneys screamed to file chapter 11 (thanks to the greasy shits served at the corporate cafeteria) - and then, these management assholes came up with some really brilliant plan to change the whole ballgame - a FREE health check plan for all (and even that, limited to only 36 kinds of complications)… and expects everyone to quit bitching, be happy about it and get the fuck back to work. Oh the irony.

If you still don’t get me, just imagine you’re being paid to smoke cigarettes everyday instead of your regular works. You’ll smoke 9 hours a day, and 5 days a week. At the end of the decade, when you’re all laden with tars and nicotine, your employer racks you up and tell you that they’re giving you a FREE chemotherapy for all the cancers you’re about to get, and you should be fucking thrilled and happy about it. Ridiculous? No?

That’s what’s happening here in Company X. We’re not getting all the deserved increments, but everyone seems to be fucking thrilled with things that we shouldn’t begotten in the first place. Why the hell would I want a free health check plan or a Rubella injection? Fuck! I just want a healthy amount of increment every fucking quarter. Moolah. Money. That’s what I want. That’s what everyone REALLY wants.

Nevermind the promotions. Nevermind the annual dinners or lucky draws or recreation facilities… Those can be nice to have… yes, but not really important. The ultimate one is still money. With more money (it never gets too much, don’t worry), I’m willing to compromise all the hardships and pain… and it’s the only thing that ticks my clock.

Like I’ve said a few million times before, WHY CAN’T SOMEBODY FIGURE THAT OUT ALREADY????

Looks like our bolehland has proven itself again, to have some of the dumbest leaders in the world. Just look at this comparison chart shown at TheStar today:

That’s pretty sohai, isn’t it? You get heftier penalties for failing to produce your identification card compared to more serious felonies like DUI or messing around with explosive substance…

I wonder what next could be coming from these bunch of soggy headed bitch ass fuckers. Death penalty for not looking good enough in your MyKad? Yeah, and we’ll get much less of these politician toads screeching around our streets with annoying escort policemen beating through our traffic incessantly for a quicker breakfast.

Some of these people have got too much time at their hands. Just ask ourselves, how many times have we seen them performing their stupid acts at the center stage of our nation? Debating whether a bow tie is appropriate in Parliament… whether kongsi raya could cause a turbulence in their religious faith… whether Bigfoot is a descendant of Srivijaya or just a very big bipedal dog … Pfftttt!!

Hey morons, if you’ve got too much time at hands, go fix up more potholes. Fix up your officers’ misdemeanors. Refine the public transport system. Build less poshy lamp posts and pave more roads. Patch up the cracked highways. Improve the drainage system. Quell the escalating crime rate (yeah, do something about your rapist cousins who did injustices to those innocent childrens and goats). Confer less spastic grandfathers. For all I care.

Just, use your brain and don’t make our already miserable life more miserable…