I’m about to rant a little bit of something about my job. But because I am bound by the non-disclosure thing at Company X, I will have to do it metaphorically. Just for the intention of complying that, I’m gonna have to ask you to imagine that I’m a surgeon. A good one at that. My job is to cut people open like a pig, remove their organs and have them analyzed in detail. Once I got it done, I’m gonna have to put them back in and produce a thorough report on what the fuck went wrong. Simple.

Although I can do my job quite efficiently, some of the chores can be arduously time consuming… one of them is - removing an uterus. You see, removing an uterus is not as simple as removing batteries off a remote control or anything like that. An uterus is big, complex, sensitive and stinks like a motherfucking Chinese calligraphy ink. It is something that requires a tremendous amount of time to dismantle (first remove the pussy, then the ass, then the head, spinal cord, etc - you get the idea). Labor intensive kinda job.

Yesterday, I was given 3 ladies with uterus problems at 11am. The officer wanted me to get the ladies all stitched up by 2pm. I said “No way dude, that’s impossible” - and I explained that I need a minimum 1.5 hour for each uterus job. And that’s about one of the best you can get from an underpaid surgeon like me - with the limited equipment (I was given only a wooden ladle) and all that.

Fast forward today, I got a pep talk from my boss, that some high flying idiot (I learned this phrase today) from another department has a concern on my work. He said my delay handicapped their productivity. When I asked what’s the deal - I found out that the 3 ladies with uterus problems need to go back to work by the next day, and they’re unable to because of my delay.

I protested like “What the fuck??? Can’t they go on medical leave or something?? Or get a fucking replacement for them??”. My boss then told me that the high flying idiot, being a stupid fuck he is, felt that it is much easier for me to speed up than to ask those ladies to get a medical leave (because their medical leave application process is quite complex, apparently, and they don’t like replacements).

In response to that, I went like,
“Without a functioning uterus, do you think that going to work is the most important thing those ladies should worry about? If that is so, then they should have lived with the uterus problems instead. Why bother come to me?”.

Ridiculous, I know. It’s like complaining yourself having a time management problem when you could have at least surfed less internet and shirked less, rather than hoping the planet revolves around the sun at a much slower pace.

My job can be fucking frustrating at times, and it’s not even mine or my boss’ fault. It’s somebody else stupider that holds high position. That’s what happens when you get people like this holding the rein of a certain important job function. Ma fa hai puki cheebye. I hope the high flying idiot gets a stroke tonight.

Man, I so fucking hate driving on Sundays.

It seems to be the day where brain damaged people come out of their hiding place like earthworms wriggling out of dirt after a rainy day.

Man, I so fucking hate driving on Sundays.

In just a little less than 3 hours out on the streets today (Sunday), I’ve encountered people who:

- drives at 40 kph hogging on the middle of 2 lanes
- changes lanes without indicator.
- remains static on green.
- stops on the middle of the fucking road out of no reason at all.
- parks their fucking car haphazardly all over the place.

Man, I so fucking hate driving on Sundays.

If I was to die out of heart attack or a stroke, I’d bet my ass on fire that it’ll happen on Sundays, when I’m behind the steering wheel.

Man, I so fucking hate driving on Sundays.

Although I had a near death experience contending with stupid people around me today, the tradeoff was worth it… for I have never seen my Regine so happy before… on her first time going out to a shopping mall.

But I still fucking hate driving on Sundays.

I’m sure you guys have your fair share of celebrities to hate. Famous people whom you think deserves anything except being famous and rich. I have mine too.

Il Divo
I don’t know if it’s just me but, I think these 4 beefcakes are just atrocious. They bring about so much gay-ness in them, that it makes me think that this isn’t all about singing. In my arrogant opinion, I think it’s about being homos and being able to openly show off how energetic they are (a de facto testament to their ass humping prowess) when they belt out their gay version of recycled ballads. I never fail to cringe in horror whenever I hear these fags butchering songs after songs on the radio.

Gwen Stefani
I don’t have so much of a problem with her music, though it is still quite awful to my taste. The problem’s with her grotesque sense of fashion. Touted as the “harajuku” ambassador of the West… I often find her image puke inducing. Striped underwear over the head… polka dotted stocking stuffed inside her ass… perforated piece of cooter from excessive silverware piercing… you know, that kind of shit. Like, how could anyone sanction that kind of garb out in public? You people disgusts me.

Prince
If it wasn’t for Michael Jackson, I would have named this freak as the creepiest androgynous weirdo of all time. He’s now the runner up. I mean, look at him. He can’t sing. He can’t dance. And worst of all, he looks like some drag queen on crack selling backside on a dark seedy alley somewhere. How can a drag queen poser be that successful, smoking weed and porking models, while talented people like you and me sit around toiling behind some fat ass yelling at you to get your job done (and stop blogging)? This ain’t making any sense at all man. This guy, he deserves no fame just for looking like that. He deserves to have a steel fire stoker shove up his ass, with the protruding end hooked to a rotational coconut grinder shaft.

Akon
The guy whose songs are currently being played inside every fucking yuppy’s mp3 player, posh pubs and gaudy ah lian fengtau disco outlets. The only 2 talents that I see in this guy, are
1) he has the look to be able to star in our local “Orang Minyak” film, as “Orang Minyak”, without any need of special effects or make-up.
2) he has the required yelling and high pitched flair to peddle mobile ‘Yong Tou Foo’ around in low cost apartments. People will notice his presence with little effort with that kind of voice. “YO, there comes Akon. STUFFED CHILLI WITH PLENTY OF GARLIC NO PARSLEY!”
He’s famous probably because Gwen Stefani gave him a polka dotted fellatio. Otherwise, he’d surely make a good Yong Tou Foo peddler.

Jay Chou
What more can be said of this creature? Nevermind about his I-think-I’m-cool-yeah attitude. Nevermind about his scrawny physique. Nevermind about his dishevelled hairstyle (which seems to be ubiquitous amongst shylocks, DVD sellers, hairstylists, junkies, thugs and illiterates). He’s the epitome of all ugly people turned successful. He’s the living proof that one can still have shitloads of luck to achieve your seemingly impossible goals despite being born with a chicken ass voice and naturally looking like a complete dork. He’s “the one” that made it. He gives hopeless people hope. What more can I say… the dark prince of all schmucks and the idol of all out-of-control teenagers…

—–

That was therapeutic. It has been some time since I did this. I was thinking - while being very busy at work last week - if my seemingly trivial daily work routine has consumed my soul… that I do not even have the time to have feelings anymore? (since Rob’s departure). That’s when I pledged to do this… you know, hopefully, it’ll wake me up from this nightmare and realize that there are more important stuff for me to give a shit about other than that trivial paycheck (though at hard times like this, it doesn’t feel that trivial to me, yet).

What do you get when you cross a bunch of fat degenerates with another bunch of retarded dweebs with the charm of a pile of putrefying offal?

Company X IT department organizing an appreciation dinner for their counterparts with complementary level of mental retardation.

I had the most unfortunate encounter with these microorganism from the deepest bowel of the social food chain at a steamboat restaurant last weekend. These dipshits spoiled many people’s dinner that night. They were all over the place, laughing, shouting and snorting like the place was a sty belonged to their grandparents. Bunch of contemptible shitfucks.

Being an extrovert myself, I understand that a certain degree of noise are usually tolerable during a gaiety event with your bunch of cronies, but there’s always a limit to that. You never yell and scream like you’re getting anally violated by a really fat piece of fire extinguisher. No matter how happy you are, you should always check if your group does it too much to the point of annoying others. This is what we call - being civilized and considerate.

But not for these motherfuckers. It was as if they’ve never advanced from the days when they’re wielding clubs and wearing animal hides. It was a no holds barred night for them. They yelled and screamed like cro magnons running loose from a life sentence leash, totally apathetic to the looks of consternation from the rest of the patrons who were trying to have a normal dinner there…

What’s even more sad was, they’re all Company X employees holding senior and management posts. People that are supposed to be educated and stuff, and they are the ones that displayed a complete opposite kind of rustic bumpkin behavior. I have already suspected way before this, that these dopes are nothing but a bunch of delinquent parasites that never do their job most of the time in the company… but after this unexpected encounter, I realized that they are actually more than that. They are also socially inept (well, except amongst their wretched kinds, I guess).

That’s our IT department, ladies and gentlemen. A living proof that physical and mental advancement is not plotted on the same time scale for certain people.

Remember I once said that people in my neighborhood consist of social degenerates and inconsiderate schmucks? Well, I was proven right again in the past weekend.

One of the tenants from the opposite block parked his pickup truck right in the middle of the apartment compound entrance and bolted off on feet to somewhere. As a result of that, the rest of the residents in the area were unable to drive into the apartment compound through that entrance. It was later learned that the guy did that deliberately as a protest against the management’s action against him for defaulting the payment of the apartment maintenance/service fee.

That’s right. As hard-to-believe as it may sound to you, the guy did that despite of being the guilty one. The motherfucker hasn’t been paying his maintenance/service fee for 6 months, and because of that, the management rightfully deactivated his electronic access card to the apartment compound (we have an automatic pole-gate restricting vehicle access due to limited parking space) - that was why he flipped out. When he couldn’t get the gate to open, he decided to leave his vehicle right at that very spot and went home pretending like nothing happened.

I can’t help but wonder, what was this guy thinking… When he left his vehicle to obstruct the entrance, what was he expecting out of the act? That it would pique the public attention that he was being “unfairly treated” and then have his card access reinstated? Or was he expecting something bigger… like broadcasting to the neighborhood that he is a heck of a mean ass macho guy and no one should fuck with him about not paying up his maintenance/service fee?

Nobody knew what was on his mind. Perhaps he himself didn’t know either - for later he learned himself the hard way, that the decision to leave his truck at the entrance was downright stupid and uncalled for. He was later made to haul his sorry ass down from his apartment, rather embarrassingly, to move his truck by a couple of policemen, which he complied like a cheap desperate cocksucking whore…

Had he chosen to settle the matter amicably, like pony up the sum to get back his access instead of acting like a total dick, he probably would have avoided such outcome. So, he was kinda like smearing shit all over himself, himself - because now everyone knows he was the cheap asshole who defaulted the maintenance fee, inconsiderately parked his truck to obstruct traffic and chickened out when the police was summoned. He got the attention alright, though not very much the way he had hoped to be.

I was thinking, it probably would have been better if he retained the macho profile and rebelled when he got confronted by the policemen… you know, so that it warrants for the opportunity to shoot him instead. People like him should just fucking die…