This is a very depressing and emotional flick – quite contrary from what the title might suggest. I was expecting it to be a ‘Rocky’ style gritty tale about some wrestler fighting the odds to the top, but it appears to be quite the opposite. It was about a tale of a professional wrestler (the ‘entertainment’ type) who had been to the top, fighting the harsh reality to not stay at the bottom.

Bitten by old age and waning popularity, Randy “The Ram” Robinson (the wrestler, played by Mickey Rourke) finds life is not quite the same as it used to be for him. He is part time wrestling, and full time struggling to make ends meet. His daughter hates him, and he hasn’t got a family. All he has are a bunch of wrestler friends and a stripper he likes at a club. Then one day, after a straining routine at the ring, he gets a heart attack and everything comes crashing down on him when the doctor tells him he can’t wrestle again. And the flick goes on to tell the viewer about how getting old can be such a bitch if you don’t have a plan for yourself.

The plot’s simple and engaging. It doesn’t have much dialog. A lot of times, the viewer is brought around The Ram’s life by following him from behind as a second person, just like a documentary (minus the shaking though). It has been some time since I saw a movie this good. Thoroughly enjoyed it. And oh, as a bonus, they threw in a few titty scenes too. The Ram’s stripper love interest was played by Marissa Tomei, whose perky tits – despite being at 40 years old – are still as amazing as any adolescent chick’s. This alone already makes it better than that successful quasi Bollywood flick – “Slumdog Millionaire”.

8/10.

There was already a hype going around about this flick before I watched it – that it was one of the best martial arts action flick EVARR. I was then like ‘Uh oh’, that’s not going to be good because, if you use the word ‘EVARR’, then that shit has to be top notch good… and with expectations set THAT high, things tend to disappoint.

And as I reckoned… it didn’t cut the cake. I mean, it wasn’t bad per se, but, it didn’t live up to the expectation that it is one of the best EVARR. Sure enough, Donnie Yen delivered a never before solid performance (he was Christian Bale good), and the fight choreography was impressive. But it was the plot that ruined the whole thing.

I don’t know if it’s just me but, do you guys notice that there has been like, a fucking dozen martial art flicks out there that went with the ‘beat-the-Japanese’ theme? I understand this is to placate the Chinese audience but, do we really have to do this so fucking often? This is as hackneyed as what the Hindustans did with their train fights and groupie dances. I mean, come on, can’t these people come up with a better and more intelligent plot at all? Something new? Something fresh? Hello?

If you were to ask me, I’d say the “Once Upon A Time in China” franchise was a better watch. The fights might not look as good as contemporary action flicks but, they’re still way more superior as a package. They were with much more surprises and interesting plots (also, check out the “Swordsman” franchise). Those are the best. “Ip Man” however, is definitely not in that ‘EVARR’ league. 6/10 (only for the action, nothing else)

I am never a fan of Japanese manga. Too fucking emo and shit for me. And besides, I don’t understand Japanese and I absolutely hate dubbed audios (though it doesn’t make any fucking difference for animated characters).

But “Afro Samurai” is different. The first time I saw it, I immediately fell in love with its styles and stuff. Over the top violence and gore… Exaggerated poses and maneuvers. I immediately knew this is my kind of shit. Remember those nice short animated manga in “Kill Bill” with blood jetting out of mutilated bodies? Afro Samurai is many times more violent than that. That’s why I love it.

“Afro Samurai: Resurrection”, despite being the first full length movie ever released, does not have a standalone plot. It is somewhat a continuation from a 5-episodes-series released back in 2007. That means, you’ve got to watch the 5-episodes-series to be able to fully grasp what the fuck’s going on in “Afro Samurai: Resurrection”.

The plot revolves around the life of Afro Samurai (voiced by Samuel L. Jackson), a samurai warrior of African descent, and 2 head bands – the No.1 head band, a much coveted prize of being the most awesome samurai ever existed (almost godlike), and the No.2 head band, the only headband that allows a samurai who possesses it to challenge the No.1 title. Sort of confusing but, one really needs to watch the 5 episodes to understand (email me if you want to know where to download the 5 episodes). Afro Samurai, who possesses the No.1 head band (explained in the 5 episodes) and a semi-retired peaceful life, one day got his ass creamed by a band of villains (who had a long violent history with him – again, explained in the 5 episodes) and lost his No.1 head band, is then forced to become the cold blooded killer he once was, to cut through countless of foes that stand in his path, to get the No.2 head band, and then seek to save his dead ‘father’ from being resurrected by the villains (again, one has to cross reference back to the 5 episodes to understand what’s the deal with his father).

A gripping and action packed flick – teeming with gory violence, foul language and unbelievably detailed graphics. But then still, in my humble opinion, the 5 episodes rawked even harder. I consider this a ‘toned down’ version of the 5-episodes-series (probably to go easy on the ratings), that features deeper plots and more badass battles. Notwithstanding being a little bit floppier than the series, the “Afro Samurai: Resurrection” is still one of the most enjoyable full length animated films I’ve ever watched… 7/10 (I’d give the series 8/10 though…)

(a.k.a “Nothing is Private”)
This is a very wrong flick (in a negative way) for many reasons – it has scenes of a minor getting raped by an adult, sexually assaulted by an adult, getting duped by horny individuals for their own sexual gratification (pube shaving, masturbation, tits kneading), physical abuse by an adult and also a semi-incestuous part. Though this may sound totally like a Japanese fetish porn, the flick bares no gonads nor funbags (which kind of nulls the idea of it being a porn)

The story is about a girl of middle eastern descent dealing with her puberty and her seemingly uncontrollable libido, which is taken advantage of by basically almost every guy she happens to meet – her mom’s boyfriend, her classmate and her pedophiliac neighbor. Revolves just around a neighborhood and a couple of houses, and with plenty of dull drama.

One can tell that this is a very low budget flick – the acting was very poor (some underacting, and some overacting), the script was lame and the plots didn’t connect. I guess it was intended to be emotionally engaging and shit, but it clearly didn’t work too well. This flick probably would appeal some semi retarded overly emotional middle aged authoritarian housewives, but it was simply too dull, stupid and preposterous for me. I finished this in almost a dozen sessions, because I can’t make myself sit through the flick for more than 10 minutes each time. (I finished it because I thought the ending would be good… but it flopped big time)

1/10

what is it about?
True story of a child abuse cum homicide case in America. (the previously reviewed fictional film “The Girl Next Door” was based on this true story)

the plot?
2 sisters were sent by their estranged parents to live at the home of a lady (the perpetrator) whom they acquainted from the church. Laden with poverty and desperate for money to feed her kids, the lady agreed to take in both the girls with a fee from the girls’ constant traveling parents (carnival workers of some sort). But when the parents were late on their payment, the lady started to channel her depression and angst onto one of the girls… starting with some minor abuses, into inhumane tortures, and eventually, leading to the girl’s death. It was pretty sick stuff.

likes
- Nil

dislikes
- The killer being portrayed as an attractive and sympathetic character. Unfortunately, I’ve read the the story before watching this movie. Gerty Baniszewski in real person, looks like an exhumed corpse of an opium addict and nothing like Catherine Keener.
- I did not like the way the tortures were presented in this flick. It was not detailed enough. The real Gerty did a lot of pretty nasty things to that girl back then. I think it is kind of an injustice by not revealing the complete truth here.
- the dramatic twist to the whole storyline was not good for me. The part where Sylvia seeing herself dying was totally unnecessary. The participation of Gerty’s children on the crime was grossly under-portrayed. etc.
- I didn’t like the way the story was told in a truncated manner (panning between present and past). It made me lost the sense of time, and it was as if the whole ordeal happened on the same day.

spoilers
- the flick was too fucking boring to have spoilers.

rating
The flick’s boring. I reckon that the producer was trying to put some depth in Baniszewski’s character, which I think was lame. I had much stronger feelings watching “The Girl Next Door” compared to this. 4/10