Archive for the ‘mails/posts’ Category

July 29, 2010

parting gift

A week before I left Company X, I received an email from my boss with an attachment. Content as follows.

From: Boss
Sent: Wednesday, July 21, 2010 2:06 PM
To: michaelooi
Subject: Testinony

Michael,
Would you like to have any alteration on your testimony, you can inform me for your input.

Regards,
Boss

Attached with the crudely written email, was a letter of testimony written by him. After I’ve read the letter, I did not know whether to laugh or cry. You can check it out yourself, the content of the letter is as follows:

29th July 2010

TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN

Subject: Testimonial for Michael Ooi

Michael Ooi has joined the company on [date]. Throughout his services in the company, he was attached to [department] as [position]. He is solely in charge of [lab name] for products testing & reliability function. He grows together with the [Company X].

He has demonstrated his dedication to work assigned. He is definite a good team player and diligent in carry out the task that assigned to him.

I am confident with his strong technical knowledge and positive work attitude that will equipped him for future career.

We thanks Michael Ooi for his valuable contribution to our team and wish him all the best on his future endeavors.

Thank you.

Yours truly,
[Boss’ name]
[Position], [Department]
Company X

I really do not know what to say. I wanted to tell him that the letter sucked-ass so bad, that I felt like swallowing a computer mouse. But thankfully, I didn’t do it, because I knew it was done in good faith. It’s like a cat came to you with a dead rat hoping you’d be impressed. It would be plain wrong to kick the animal and send it away, because in its best perception with a least intelligent mind, that rat carcass was the best thing ever it wanted to give you.

So I did what I should – I politely declined the letter, and thanked him for his thoughtful act.
[The letter actually made me more depressed, mahai…]

michaelooi  | mails/posts  | 9 Comments
July 2, 2010

‘fckr’

My blog’s 7th anniversary tomorrow, and look what I got in my inbox? A hate mail! It’s been some time since I got one…

from Selena Perez [lettherainfall12@gmail.com]
to Michael Ooi
date Fri, Jul 2, 2010 at 12:13 PM
subject fckr

ok listen up you homo.grace was right. i dont give a shit if you think i should be warned. ur a little fcking asshole and u dont realize what ur doing to those cats. ur never gonna get a grlfriend ,or boyfriend. you arent very smart either because if anyone in authority coaght you doing that u’d be arrested for animal cruelty. only a fcking idio\t would not know what hes doing. i would nt be surprised if ure a child molester or sex offender. u disgust me. and the only reason u shut off the comments is bcuz u KNOW WHAT UR DOING IS WRONG AND U,BEING A PRICK, DONT WANT TO HEAR IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

other than that the rest of ur blog is freakin hilarious but when ppl intentionally hurt animals…well, they can burn in hell for all i care

Let the rain fall.
I DON’T CARE.

If you manage to wade through that shit thick with errors, you should be able to tell that she’s actually mad about something I wrote back in 2005, about various creative ways to torture a cat.

Yeah, that post is prehistoric man. What took her 5 years to reach here hahah. I don’t understand why couldn’t she just fuck off or kill herself or something. What a fucking bitch. Here’s my reply to her.

from Michael Ooi
to Selena Perez [lettherainfall12@gmail.com]
date Fri, Jul 2, 2010 at 9:23 PM
subject Re: fckr

Fuck you, Selena. I hope a thousand cats would die for each and every word you spell wrong…

michaelooi  | mails/posts  | 18 Comments
May 5, 2010

she deserved it

Working in Company X is all but a happy affair for me right now. It’s depressing, sad and demoralizing. Hence, I’d probably be venting more about work stuff until the situation improves.

The idiot of the day today is an Indian chick named Poppadom MoleRat. She’s a production operator, given the task to lead a team of inspectors and consolidate some simple reports. Not a very important job but she’s been going around telling everyone that she’s a MANAGER and acts all haughty about it. Everybody fucking hates her. I was already in my foul mood this morning, only to get exacerbated with her stupid email addressed to my boss and I (and another colleague).

From: Poppadom MoleRat
Sent: Wednesday, May 05, 2010 XX:XX AM
To: [Boss]; michaelooi; [Colleague]
Subject: VSS Offer On July

[Boss],
As per request attach entitle name list for those living on end of July.

[Colleague] & Michael,
You may prefer to have HR referral letter & testimony for your service in Company X.
Need to provide info. as below if needed.

Name
Employee number
Date join

I had to read the content a few times to get hold of what she’s talking about. Basically, she was asking if we would like to get our referral/testimonial letter from HR – and if we do, we need to provide her our name, employee number and the date we joined Company X.

Kinda fucking stupid, in my opinion. Why the fuck would the HR need my name, employee number and the date we joined Company X if it wanted to dish out referral/testimonial letters to the departing employees? Don’t they have the info in their database already? The most stupid of all, was the email from Poppadom MoleRat assuming that I’ll be dead after this July (or perhaps resurrected from being dead in July? wtf). Makahai goddamn cheebye kelinga charbor. I replied her email,

From: michaelooi
Sent: Wednesday, May 05, 2010 XX:XX AM
To: Poppadom MoleRat; [Boss]; [Colleague]
Subject: RE: VSS Offer On July

Of course I will still be ‘living’ in July. I’m LEAVING, not dying.

The info below, who should I provide to? You? HR?

Colleague told me she’s just being nice, and hinted that I shouldn’t have effed her like I did. But what do I care really, she deserved it. Come to think of it, I should have crapped on her keyboard.

michaelooi  | mails/posts  | Comments Off
April 22, 2010

Cameron Highlands comment

It has been some time since I received a hate comment/post. I received one early today in my Cameron Highlands post

#yourmother said: hello bro, U sure throwing a lot of those ‘F’ word as if U were born with it…
i read Ur review and it sucks as you do… what the hell with U anyway… the place sure has got nothing interesting but that doesn’t gives U right to write something like that…. every place is unique…by mean only some people could appreciate that… if this place is not ‘your type’ just simply don’t go… just go somewhere else…. oh ya…. U don’t have the money to go somewhere better… that is why U go to this place…. and talk bullshit about everything…. it is not the place is bad, it was U…. so i think U need to wash Ur mouth a bit harder… and stop the nonsense…. why am i writing this comment?? U not gonna approve it anyway…. like i care…. as long as my message get to U, it fine… i don’t think U had the gut to approve this anyway coz U are just an *S hole…

Here’s my reply to that person:

#michaelooi said:yourmother – Of course I have the rights to have an opinion and write something like this. From the way you wrote your comment, I can understand why you’re so charged up with what I wrote – It’s bcoz U’re a retarded *S hole. U need to kill Urself and die.

So, fuck you and your mother.

The guy’s probably a teenager who had some sentimental memories of that place (Cameron Highlands). The memories of him meeting his cousin (now wife) for the first time during a family gathering at the hills, and how he clumsily stroked her vagina with his nerdy hands while performing a ritual tribal dance to celebrate the birth of a black calf in his family vegetable farm.

michaelooi  | mails/posts  | 13 Comments
February 19, 2010

powderful

Some amusing email sent by a lady engineer in Company X. A person known for her insolence, lack of common sense, and a prominently hated figure, this lady engineer one day realized that the shitty food in our cafeteria isn’t doing her any good (after hoovering the same shit for a few years), given that her figure is noticeably looking more and more like a giant oil barrel. So she decided to send out the biggest cunty rant ever and copied almost everyone in the whole company directory in the mail.

From: [Lady engineer with a problem]
Sent: XXXXXX, February XX, 2010 X:XX AM
To: [Almost everyone in the email directory]
Subject: Canteen feedback
Importance: High

Dear operation team,
Yesterday I have met with [Manager 1] and complainted about canteen, anyway he asked me to point out what is not right about canteen, now since I’m not working in night shift and I need more voices from oepration team, please kindly feedback your complaints to me, so that I can compile them and send to [manager 1], [manager 2] & [manager 3]. Please kindly make it fast, I will send this email to them by noon.

Starting with my opinion:

i) No variety opinion in choosing food, instead they are not “cooking”, they are mixed whatever they have and fried to serve.
Ii) Breakfast always prepared late (after 8am), food served before 8am always is left over food from night or evening before the day and cold. The reason is all the workers start to prepare lunch and yet food for lunch will be cold during that hour.
Iii) Pricing is not certain, especially from the Chinese guy, he always takes the highest price without comparing the size of the serving (example: chicken is 1.6-1.80, he will only take 1.8 for any size and yet the size of serving is reducing perday).
Iv) They always use outside food pricing, example kuih (smaller, not tasty) than outside, but price would be the same as outside stall.
V) Dishes never cleaned (stain always left on dishes) and DRIED properly, this is actually violent the hygienic law.

These are points being seen in my point of view, please kindly bring up more especially during night shift, so that we can get canteen being “contained” and require “long term action” from them. Don’t forget, those people are also vendors to Company X, to us, only this time they are earning employees’ money instead of employer’s and yet Company X is paying electricity bill and water bill.

If we don’t protect our rights, who will?
p/s: you may feedback in English & Malay.

Thank you!!
Regards,
[Lady engineer with a problem]

Take note of the underlined phrase. That almost killed me. I guess the only thing right in her email is the order of the Roman numerals… (even that, she got the capitalization wrong). It’s hard to believe that turd is an engineer.

I cheekily forwarded this to a colleague of mine who has a deep grudge with her, with the following caption:

From: michaelooi
Sent: XXXXXX, February XX, 2010 X:XX AM
To: [Colleague]
Subject: FW: Canteen feedback
Importance: High

Your friend is trying to fight for her rights. Take note of her powderful English. My god.

I made that colleague’s day.

michaelooi  | mails/posts  | 10 Comments