I was tagged by blusher.

1. Name one person who made you laugh last night.
My daughter Regine. I was pretending to be asleep. When she gawked at me up close, I opened up my eyes to give her the jolt, and we both laughed like hyenas together.

2. What were you doing at 0800?
I was still sleeping.

3. What were you doing 30 minutes ago?
Playing Scrabbles (Scrabulous) in Facebook.

4. What happened to you in 2006?
I fucketh, becameth a father and losth my freedomth.

5. What was the last thing you said out loud?
‘WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU??’ - I lost my shit on Regine today. Don’t wanna talk about it.

6. How many beverages did you have today?
3 mugs of strong coffee.

7. What color is your hairbrush?
I don’t have a hairbrush. (note: guys don’t normally own a hairbrush, unless he’s confused about his sexuality)

8. What was the last thing you paid for?
Couple packs of ‘nasi padprik’ and Penang famous Edgecumbe Road ‘mee rebus’.

9. Where were you last night?
In front of my ‘puter.

10. What color is your front door?
Some shade of light grey.

11. Where do you keep your change?
A compartment inside my car, or into the Valentines gift gold piggy bank I gave to Emily many years ago

12. What’s the weather like today?
Hot and sticky like hell.

13. What’s the best ice-cream flavor?
Has to be either chocolate or vanilla for me.

15. Do you want to cut your hair?
No I don’t.

16. Are you over the age of 25?
No I’m not.

17. Do you talk a lot?
No I don’t.

18. Do you watch the O.C.?
No I don’t.

19. Do you know anyone named Steven?
Fuck yeah. My friend Steven can do heck of an impersonation of Emil Chow. He drives a heavily mod Wrangler with a twin turbo engine. He has acted alongside with femes Hong Kong actors in a flick. He’s rich, stable and he can sing (now how many of your chicken ass male friends can sing?). Any of you girls interested in him, email me. (seriously)

20. Do you make up your own words?
Yep. Can’t remember all of them, only a couple. Like this and this.

21. Are you a jealous person?
Sometimes.

22. Name a friend whose name starts with the letter ‘A’.
Alvin. He’s a Liverpool fan, has five dawgs and a couple patches of tattoo on his shoulder (which makes him look like a fake gangster).

23. Name a friend whose name starts with the letter ‘K’.
Keh Boh Leong (which literally translates to ‘Pussy Leong’). He has a defective voice cord that makes him speak in a semi falsetto tone - which makes the general public confused about his sexuality (that’s why the name). I once insulted his mother from a sidewalk, pissing him off. He reacted by spitting at me from the moving school bus and his spit smelled like a wet rat.

24. Who’s the first person on your received call list?
My wife, Emily.

25. What does the last text message you received say?
I usually delete my message after reading it. But I think the last one’s from a colleague that told me he isn’t going to join me for lunch.

26. Do you chew on your straw?
No I don’t.

27. Do you have curly hair?
Apart from my pubes, hairs on my legs and armpits, No.

28. Where’s the next place you’re going to?
I think the toilet. The Edgecumbe Road ‘mee rebus’ is giving me a dry spin inside my tummy.

29. Who’s the rudest person in your life?
Has got to be my mom. She’s the Asian counterpart of the Sea Hag.

30. What was the last thing you ate?
A1 Bak Kut Teh instant noodles. Awesome.

31. Will you get married in the future?
I’m already married.

32. What’s the best movie you’ve seen in the past 2 weeks?
“I Am Legend”.

33. Is there anyone you like right now?
Yeah. Fell in love with this girl.

34. When was the last time you did the dishes?
A few hours ago, after wolfing down that bowl of A1 Bak Kut Teh instant noodles.

35. Are you currently depressed?
Yes I am. I need a vacation and a lot of money.

36. Did you cry today?
What the fuck. No. (note: guys don’t normally cry, unless his favorite soccer team loses the final match in a major tournament)

37. Why did you answer and post this?
That’s because I’m such an affable and fucking nice guy.

38. Tag 5 people who would do this survey
I’m sorry but, the madness ends here.

I did some charity today, in conjunction of the Deepavali celebration (or whatever). I posted a sign to warn the public of a certain hazard lurking behind a certain room.

I hope Mojo Jojo won’t get too upset about the sign when he returns to that room after his lunch (he is the only known breathing - though not living - specimen that dwells inside that room).

[UPDATE] Mojo Jojo came right in 5 minutes after I’ve posted this entry. His reaction? = “Kanneh! Is that a dog or a human!?”.

I am so fucking speechless right now.

I was given a task to investigate a certain failure on a notebook computer returned from a customer. Upon completion of the OS bootup, I was greeted with a password request screen.

“Fuck!” I yelled. I used to be able to crack Win2K and certain version of XP passwords with a program that was given to me by a friend. But not Vista. That was when I smack the keyboard hard yelling another ‘goddamn!’ to illustrate my frustration, and accidentally pressed the ‘Enter’ key in the process. Sensing the wrong password being entered, the OS popped a line of hint under the password entry box - “Password Hint : Greatest Gift From God”.

Greatest gift from God.

Well, hell, it couldn’t be that hard, could it? The person who’s capable to come up with such a wussy hint must be someone corny, so I adjusted my thoughts to think of the corniest answer there ever was - “love”.

So I typed “love”. It drew an incorrect password screen.

Hmmmm, he’s not that corny after all, I thought.

I typed “woman”. Incorrect password screen.

I made it plural - “women”. Incorrect password screen.

Seeing the picture of the dog there, I even typed “dog”, still incorrect.

Fuck, this is harder than I thought - I said. And I tried somemore. This time, I tried to be honest with myself.

career
food
girl
girls
sex
breast
breasts
tits
pussy
vagina

I tried everything that was invented by God, but none came up as the right match. That was when I give up and made a phone call to IM’ed Ken, my colleague who was the one who gave me this case… and I got the answer finally - it was totally out of my scope.

But I ain’t gonna reveal it so easy here. I’ll let you guys guess yourself and see what you can come up with…

I was at work drafting some process maps, and I ‘productively’ came up with this instead - some kind of a guide to help you guys to be a more prudent in spending (for gadgets and stuff)…

The more time you take to consider buying something for yourself, the more prudent you are. It’s really that simple.

MichaelOoi.net. Improving lives since 2003.

Source: Mingle2 - forwarded by Sasha

Well, I don’t exactly have 50 here… only 1, mine. That’s because I don’t have much free time on my ass (alright, I was lazy).

But it’s the raunchiest alright. NC-17, you can’t get any worse than that. That’s like, the equivalent of a midget porn site or something like that…

So how was your’s rated? If you have a blog, you may check it out at that URL there… and if you think your blog is worthy of the tag “50 raunchiest Malaysian blogs”, kindly post up your URL and rating in the commenting section… I’ll add it to the list.

01. michaelooi.net - NC-17
02. aisehman.org - NC-17
03. vbglau.blogspot.com - NC-17
04. cmos.textmalaysia.com - NC-17
05. tanyeehou.blogspot.com - NC-17
06. typlotion.blogspot.com - NC-17
07. hlco.blogspot.com - NC-17
08. mymagnificantlifenot.blogspot.com - R
09. littleraymond.blogspot.com - R
10. sashablablabla.blogspot.com - R
11. bongkersz.wordpress.com - R
12. shakyfish.blogspot.com - R
13. adrianang.net - R
14. cbljkkj.blogspot.com - R
15. coolclare.blogspot.com - R
16. hangmen13.blogspot.com - R
17. nickchan.net - PG-13
18. xenobiologista.com/blog - PG
19. jovialselamblurcow.blogspot.com - PG
20. angelc.blogspot.com - PG
21. xanga.com/nastyblue_myreflection - PG
22. thesilentroom.com - PG