Archive for the ‘food’ Category

January 31, 2006

instant spaghetti

Say, you’re dicking some dogs and just about when you’re losing the mood to even breathe, your stomach’s hungry. Usually, it shouldn’t be a problem for you since you can just excavate something off the heaps of junks inside your refrigerator… But because it’s Chinese New Year, you’re basically out of every instant food you can find.

That’s what happened to me. I was hungry and couldn’t find anything instant that I could eat. That was when I figured that I have no choice but to cook myself… some spaghetti. FAST. Gotta make it in 20 minutes, else I’m gonna fucking die out of starvation. And I did it with no sweat.

Since this is a feat that not many guys can achieve in his lifetime, I decided to do some good for you lazy bastards out there. I’m gonna share this millennium long secret of how to prepare an adequately filling plate of spaghetti in less than 20 minutes. Here it is, you’re welcome:

Step 1: Boil up a pot of water. Once boiled, dump in a handful of spaghetti. (doesn’t matter how much, just use your gut feel).

Step 2: Open up a jar of those ready made spaghetti sauce (you can get those off hypermarts or something). Pour it into a bowl. Now, get yourself a few sausages, or ‘bak kua’, then cut them up with a scissor into the sauce. Microwave the whole caboodle of it.

Step 3: While waiting for the spaghetti to cook itself out, go grab a beer and watch some tv. Return 15 minutes later.

Step 4: Sift off excess water from spaghetti and pour the sauce all over it.

Step 5: Eat. Belch. Fart.

It’s fast, it’s badass, it’s awesome. (who needs a cookbook?)

michaelooi  | food  | 16 Comments
April 9, 2004

animal lover II

When it comes to food, I can say that I’m both adventurous and finicky. Adventurous because I dare to try anything that I think is interesting, and finicky because I can be very particular about the things that I put into my mouth.

Today, I achieved another milestone in my life venturing for exotic food. Scorpions and grasshoppers. Yep, the cool looking crustacean with hard carapace, and the green colored insect. May sound icky to most people, but in some Asian countries, both scorpions and grasshoppers are considered delicacies.

Anyway, back to the topic. Had my lunch at a local Thai restaurant today that serves both of these odd food. I first tried the grasshopper. Deep fried style… kinda dark brown in color. Initially, felt really reluctant to put that damn thing into my mouth, because I really do not like the way its abdomen looked. But when my buddies all ate one each, I felt compelled to try at least one as well – lest those guys would fucking laugh at my ass for being such a sissy.

So, I was like, holding the insect and looking at it, having shitloads of second thoughts. Then, when the pressure mounted to the boiling point, I forced myself to eat the grasshopper’s leg first. Tasted like nothing – albeit a bit crunchy. Then I ate the other leg… until it finally became a limbless grasshopper. And then I summoned every ounce of my courage and popped the whole thing into my mouth… chewing and trying to visualize myself eating a prawn. Surprisingly, the damn grasshopper tasted quite good. Just like a mantis prawn. Then I took another. And another. And eventually, was enjoying a few mouthfuls of them!

Alright, this kinda give me some guts to try out the next challenge. Deepfried SCORPION (I don’t know why the Thais like to deep fry their food)! The size of the scorpion was approximately the size of a nokia 8250 mobile phone, quite big. If the bugger wasn’t dead, the size of this thing would have sent me bolting out of the restaurant running for my life. Seriously.

Because it was such a dangerous creature, I decided to eat it’s stinger first – to disarm the bastard. In case it suddenly got resurrected and becomes a zombie scorpion… at least it won’t be able to use its stinger. The stinger tasted nothing special other than being crunchy. I then bit the scorpion into half (because it was too big, choking hazard)… and attempt to capture its taste by chewing. It tasted like some rubber glove… crossed with the taste of a type of shampoo that I accidentally ingested when I was a kid. Didn’t like the taste at all. But the pair of pinchers tasted quite ok though.

So, what do I think of them? Well, the grasshopper was a surprise, but kinda disappointed with the scorpion. The grasshopper looked kinda bad outside, but tasted good inside. The scorpion was the complete opposite. I was expecting it to taste like a lobster or something, but it tasted really awful. Maybe that scorpion I ate was diseased or something. Too bad I only had one to eat, no chance to confirm that.

Here’s the update list of exotic creatures that I’ve eaten before :

dog, flying fox, squirrel, python, wild cat, turtle, lamb, goat, iguana, ostrich, pigeon, wild boar, pangolin, canary, frog, clear water eel, arowana, fox, crawfish, rabbit, black panther, scorpion, grasshopper

michaelooi  | food  | Comments Off
November 21, 2003

animal lover

Exotic animals that I have eaten before (to-date):
dog, flying fox, squirrel, python, wild cat, turtle, lamb, goat, iguana, ostrich, pigeon, wild boar, pangolin, canary, frog, clear water eel, arowana, fox, crawfish, rabbit, black panther

michaelooi  | food  | Comments Off