Archive for the ‘e-chats’ Category

October 14, 2003

ICQ with cinderella

On one fine evening, as I was logging on to check some posts, there’s an uh-oh on my ICQ bar. Someone who came by the nick “Cinderella” messaged me… & I don’t know her…
[following conversation was imported directly from my ICQ history, verbatim. And yes, this is the same Cinderella incident published in my homepage]

Cinderella : Hi, i m Malaysian n work in singapore now. Can we be friends?

Me : u sure u are not one of those spam users ?

Cinderella : ya.y ?

Me : been receiving lots of spam messages …

Cinderella : no

Me : so … how d’ you find my icq ?

Cinderella : u don’t noe there was a feature call “FIND/ADDUSER” ah?

Me : ok ler … then u found me randomly… izzit ?

Cinderella : must see the detail first ma!

Me : ok ok … well … u must have thought that i’m interesting though… to be frank .. i’m not a very interesting guy… u know… i like to disturb people… i’m not handsome… and i don’t even own a car. My hobbies are collecting stamps (very boring) … and i hate studying …

Cinderella : that’s ok. i m not pretty also.

Me : hmmm … and occasionally … i pull ugly girl’s hair for fun … very bad guy i am…

Cinderella : Oh…… but i m not ugly allso.

Me : hahah … u think very fast …well … im short … only 5 ft … and currently unemployed …

Cinderella : i m not short, 5ft 6in

Me : mind if i ask u something ,… if u are a malaysian .. what are u doing there in s’pore ? study ? work ? fun ?

Cinderella : having fun now b’coz jobless. will start my new job as an engineering clerk on next month n taking part time course in INFORMATICS (Diploma in Computer Studies)

Me : INFORMATICS huh ? isn’t it a college that teaches ppl how to cook ? …

Cinderella : Hey guy, i m taking Diploma in computer studies n not Diploma in Cooking leh!

Me : oh … ok … sorry … see ? i told u im not interesting… i know nothing abt computers …i log on to ICQ using my mom’s refrigerator…

Cinderella : Wah…. so high tech ah?

Me : high tech ? no ler … it doesn’t even have a mouse or keyboard…i’m typing using morse code … by shorting the wires together to encode some digital binary signal …my mom always scold me for spoiling her fridge… it makes her fish turn sour.

Cinderella : Special means high tech loh! i don’t even hear people surf net by using the fridge…. u r the first.

Cinderella : r u stay in KL?

Me : nope … i am from penang …u know … the place with a long bridge connected to it …

Cinderella : Ooooo……… u thought i don’t noe ah?

Me : well .. i met a lot of ugly girls who know …but mostly … the prettier ones don’t know…u told me that u are not ugly … so …that’s why i thought u dunno ….
hmmmm … i know now … that u are actually ugly

Cinderella : ok u win…

Me : heheh … see ? i told u … i like to disturb people … i am very bad …

Cinderella : I like to be disturbed by bad guy

Cinderella : i heard u say that u r jobless now, so what r u planning to do in future ?

Me : me ? i plan to be someone who doesn’t need to work in future … maybe some kind of big dog … u know big dog ? the one that bullies ppl .. and get rich quick ..

Cinderella : day dream ah ?

Me : well … maybe they have such course in INFORMATICs … Diploma of Big Dog …muahahah …

Cinderella : do u know how to speak chinese?

Me : i only speak cantonese and hokkien … i don’t know how to speak english …

Cinderella : Oh, i thought we r communicate in english. now i know that i m wrong. can u tell me wat language we r using now?

Me : well … in fact we are communicating in english .. i have a pet monkey here that speaks fluent english & cantonese …
i am relying on him to translate for me … u know … i speak cantonese .. he encode the morse code into english

Me : the msg u are reading now is actually typed by my pet monkey …

Cinderella : wah, pandainya. wat’s it name?

Me : since i am not very interesting … i named him after a very uninteresting name ,.his name is Paul Oakenfold ..

Cinderella : hey wat r doing at home everyday? sleeping, surfing net, play with ur pet Paul Oakenfold..?

Me : well … occasionally i wake up to eat something … and icq …but Paul is bad … he likes to travel a lot … and that’s why … i always have limited time to log-on to the web … coz if he is not around … i dunno how to icq in english

Cinderella : don’t mind we can chat in malay…haha. why u named ur nickname as Heavenly?

Me : i named my nickname as heavenly because Paul likes it … no other reasons ..

Cinderella : very interesting monkey, how u get it?

Me : don’t remember… i think someone FedEx him over to my place ..

Cinderella : u have girlfriend now?

Me : me ? nah … i am a very uninteresting guy …

Cinderella : how’s ur look?

Me : well … i dunno how to describe … but ppl always associate me with the character Gandalf in Lord Of The Rings …

Cinderella : im very boring now, don noe wat to do

Me : well ,… i can’t help u … hey … i gtg do something … feed Paul and bathe him up .. (or something like that) ..
if u want to know about me … go to this website .. http://members.tripod.com/michael_ooi..it’s my portfolio there …bye

Cinderella : bye

It’s fun to act stupid.

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