How I wish we humans are able to communicate through telepathic means. Like, through the language barrier and shit, we can just be within a coverage range of each other’s brain signals, and send the message away (pretty much like how wireless works… only biologically). If such were to be the case, then life probably would be so much less stressful for me and Emily – since our baby Regine can just beam us up whenever she wants something instead of bawling out in the middle of the night (there’s only so much we can interpret from the loud bawl of a baby). Just like this…
[telepathic message]
“Daddy? Are you awake?”
“I am now. What do you want?”
“Milk. I’m hungry daddy.”
“At this hour? You should be sleeping, girl.”
“I repeat, I want milk, else I’m going to start bawling.”
“Alright, alright, relax. How many bottles do you want, criminal?”
“What do you mean how many bottles? I just want one fucking shot! Do it already, old man!”
[walks to kitchen, prepares milk and returns with milk]
“Here’s your one fucking shot. Now suck fast and sleep already!”
The whole thing may sound like a complex conversation, but in reality, you’d only see the poor father walking to the kitchen to get the milk (probably with a distressed look on his face, but at least he knows what he has to do). It’ll probably last a little less than half a minute.
But of course, that isn’t happening anywhere in this world at all. If there’s one thing that our evolution failed us, that has got to be our way of communicating with each other. As fucking intelligent or advanced we humans can ever get, there’s still one simple thing we can’t do – to communicate with our offspring, until he or she knows how to listen/speak of course, which I think, is fucking pathetic.
Just look at the animals. They don’t seem to have that kind of problem. Their offspring don’t just simply cry or wail incessantly sending their parents panic attack. Take for example, the wildebeest. Just how do you reckon that a baby wildebeest knows that hyenas are evil and knows when to fucking run for their lives when they’re being attacked? Do they ever attend preschools or watch Barney to learn that? Fuck no. They just know it. Like they have somekind of telepathic shit going on there. And that probably explains why they know it when disasters are bound to struck
“Guys there’s a big fucking tsunami heading this way! Run for your lives! Don’t tell the humans!”
But then, that’s probably a power too big to ask for. I just want to have the ability to interpret what Regine wants. Regine had diarrhea for the whole last week and both Emily and I went through hell of not knowing what she wanted when she was screaming for attention. We gave her everything, but none of them seemed to be what she wanted. And those were the times when I really wished that I have this special ability to communicate with my daughter – things would be so much easier for both of us.
(come think of it, even if we were to be given that ability, it probably might not be of much use after Regine reaches her puberty. She’d be too engrossed with her dipshit teenage friends by then, than wanting her old man/woman to understand her better…)
