Archive for the ‘3-of-us’ Category

January 11, 2013

Unix

As you all have learnt, my 6.5 year old daughter started her primary one last week. Second week in her school, she already started a computer class there. Being an engineer specializing in this field, I was curious, on what have they been teaching my daughter…

“So, Regine, what did they teach you in the computer class today?”

“How to off the computer. And write my name with it.”

“Off the computer? You mean the start then shutdown button in Windows? Don’t you already knew how to do this?”

“Yes”

“What else did they teach you?”

“Unix system”

I was startled for a while. I was like – they are teaching Unix in primary school?? Wow. I’m impressed already! Seeing that I was totally in OMFG mode, she prodded further…

“So daddy, do we have a Unix system?”

“Ermm, we don’t. We use Windows. But I do use some Linux in my workplace, which is kind of similar to Unix and…”

Before I could finish further, she interrupted “Noooo, not Unix. It’s UNIT SISTEM”.

Well, it appears that she was referring to the term, ‘Unit system’ – which is another lame ass description in BeeEm referring to a desktop unit of a personal computer – which I mistakenly heard as ‘Unix system’. Makahai. I might need to get my ears checked.

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December 16, 2012

ladybird

I just had a bad moment with my daughter earlier in the evening (I kind of yelled at her), when my wife came to me at my computer desk and dropped me a small folded note – while giving me a stinky eye and a telepathic message that I am the worst person in the world. And then she said, “Your daughter wanted to give this to you.”

I opened up the folded note, and saw this strange drawing with some scribbling on, saying that she loves me. Here’s the scanned copy of the folded note:

Regine's note

Looked like something ancient from the Dead Sea

I tried my best to decipher what the whole drawing was all about – As you can see, there are 2 Suns in the drawing, which I find odd. And then, there’s this thing of what appeared to be a giant spaceship sitting next to a small house. Had to be a spaceship, because of that gear-like contraption on it, and the 2 other worldly creatures that looked like a cervix with a pair of fallopian tubes on them. (the 2 ‘rods’ however, looked like dicks to me. I tried not to think too much). The setting, I reckoned, had to be at a farm somewhere because I could see some crops (corn?) in the spaceship’s surrounding. And the whole theme is of course, hearts and love. But what has that got to do with loving me? That was when I decided to ask her :

“Regine, what are those little things with 2 arms on their heads?”

“They’re ladybirds”

I went ‘WTF??’ and asked her

“Are you sure those are ladybirds? And what about the strange things around them?”

She went on to explain that the ‘spaceship’ is actually the giant slide located outside her daycare center, and those are the ladybird drawings on them. That gear-like contraption? That’s suppose to be a ship steer wheel, which also can be found on that giant slide. She didn’t explain why there are 2 Suns and phallic looking ‘rods’ though, and why her ladybirds looked like a female’s reproductive organ. It didn’t matter. I just accepted her strange note of affection and gave her a big hug (and of course, taught her how to draw a ladybird properly…)

I hope she can be a gynaecologist when she grows up.

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September 30, 2012

oh shit

My 6 year old daughter Regine came back from her nursery one day and told me she wanted a pet rabbit. That was when I went – Oh shit. You see, I am never fond of rearing an animal as pet. I think it’s cruel. And also, I do not believe that animals and humans can (should) co-habit together under one roof.

So with a feigned concerned look, I held my daughter and looked at her in the eyes and told her this – “Regine, do you really think a rabbit would be happy to live here with us?”

She didn’t respond – positive sign. I pressed further.

Me: “A rabbit that lives here in our apartment will become a sad rabbit, without its friends and relatives. It will be alone.”

Regine: “We can keep 2 rabbits then!”

Oh shit x 2. Should have seen that coming. Contingency maneuver.

Me: “What about space? You think they’re going to be happy in a cage? It’s like being in a prison.”

Regine: “…”

Me: “It will have to poo and sleep in that cage, while you’re at school and we’re all at work. Lonely, sad rabbit”

Regine: “…”

Me: “A rabbit is not a toy, it’s a living thing. It’s cruel to keep a rabbit in a cage and watch it go sad.”

Regine: “…”

Me: “Can I buy you a soft toy rabbit instead?”

I was offering a solution to the problem. A soft toy rabbit.
a) It’s as cute as a real rabbit, if not cuter.
b) Doesn’t need feeding, and doesn’t poo.
c) It can stand neglect, and you can fucking machine wash it.
d) Most important of all, it lives forever (the kid won’t get sad over the death of a pet)

I thought it was a brilliant counter proposal, but that was when my daughter played the crying card. Tears started to roll down her face. She wasn’t even wailing, but just tears in utter silence. It was the most heart wrenching kind. For me, it simply meant – Oh shit x 3 – and I caved in.

Me: “Alright alright we’re gonna get you a freaking rabbit. But we’ll have to look around for one, ok?”

Her face then lit up like how I’d look if I were to be given a promotion at work… which kinda made me ponder how many instances in the long history of mankind have great men fell, to this nasty trick of crying card by the opposite gender…

Now I’m going to have to crack my head on how to get out from this terrible mess. The truth is, I am not ready to have a fucking rabbit in my house…

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January 18, 2012

hairstyle

My soon-to-be 6 year old daughter, in the car passenger seat, asked me about something she saw on the street outside…

Regine: “Daddy, why did that lady tie her hair up on the head like that?”

Me: “Which lady?”

Regine: “That lady, walking outside.” [points to a lady, with a beehive hairstyle]

Me: “I don’t know, she likes it that way perhaps?”

Regine: “But I don’t like it.”

Me: “Ok, but she likes it.”

Regine: “I think no one will like it. Her hair makes her look like an ultraman. And there are no girl ultraman…”

What can I say. She’s just being honest.

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July 27, 2011

small talk

My 5 year old daughter, Regine: “I’m going to have a daughter when I grow up”

Me: “Why not a son?”

Regine: “Because boys are too naughty.”

Me: “So, what are you going to call your daughter?”

Regine: “Hmmmm…. I’m going to call her ‘Flower’.”

Me: “That’s not a nice name. Can you come up with something else?”

Regine: “Hmmm [lengthy pause], I don’t know… daddy. Can you help?”

Me: “No, she’s your daughter, you come up with the name.”

Regine: “Hmmm [lengthy pause], I’m going to call her ‘Flap’.”

Me: “‘Flap’! Why would you call your daughter ‘Flap’ lah?”

Regine: “Hmmm [lengthy pause], then you’ll have to ask the daddy”

Me: “What?”

Regine: “When I have a baby, the baby’s going to have a daddy. Ask the daddy.”

Me: “Ok.”

michaelooi  | 3-of-us  | 8 Comments