My 3 year old daughter has been going around the house lately to ‘claim’ stuff as her’s. So far, she has claimed her writing desk (of course), her book rack, our room door, the dining table, a couple of dining chairs and the wall.
Then yesterday, she came to me, flashed me a quick smile and ‘claimed’ one of my most prized possessions…
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My wife and I have been trying hard to teach our 3 year old daughter the difference between singular and plural. You know, one bird, many birds.. shit like that. You know how difficult it is. But for Regine, it is simply by conveniently adding an ‘s’ to a word to make it plural.
Yesterday, Emily was making a remark about a horse on a TV program and Regine heard her. With the same corrective tone and expression she learned from her mother, she was quick to correct the ‘mistake’…
“Mommy, only ONE. You don’t say ‘horse’. You say ‘whore’. Say it.”
Apparently, my daughter thought the ‘s’ in ‘horse’ is the marker of a plural word (she actually pronounced ‘horse’ as ‘whores’)… So, naturally, the singular of ‘horse’ should be ‘whore’. You know, she would have been right if she’s actually referring to a real prostitute there… but that’s just overly optimistic…
*smacks head*
My 3 year old daughter did a couple of paintings with water color paint the other day… and gave each of them a title (I’m not making this up). Now, how many of you people are self indulgent enough to give your own painting a title? *shakes head*
Here they are… in case you’re interested to buy them or something… (I hope these would fetch me millions someday…)
Not long ago, my little girl ranted to me how she disliked a kindergarten mate of her’s,
Regine : “Daddy, I don’t like Elton.”
Me : “Why?”
Regine : “Because he is a monster.”
Me : “Why is he a monster?”
Regine : “Because I don’t like him.”
Me : *feet in the air*
*****
Emily taught Regine why she shouldn’t use the word ‘stupid’ to describe a person…
Emily : “Regine, you shouldn’t use the word ‘stupid’, ok?”
Regine : “…”
Emily : “‘Stupid’ is a very mean word.”
Regine : “Grandma is a very mean word.”
Emily : *feet in the air*
*****
She officially turns 3 today. I couldn’t be more glad to have her around. Here are some pictures of her performing hands-free-slide maneuver…
My 3 year old has been watching ‘The Lion King’ for almost everyday for the past 2 weeks. On and off, she’d roar in her best impression of a mean lion and grimace at anyone she sees, or she’d walk around on all four like a lion. We’re fast becoming used to the idea that we’ve given birth to a giant carnivorous cat, until one day…
Regine : *ROARRRRRR*
Emily : [pretends to be scared] “Oooh mommy is so scared! Please don’t bite me!”
Regine : “Mommy, come.”
Emily : [goes over] “What is it?”
Regine : “Come lick my backside.”
Emily : [shocked shitless] “Why do you want me to lick your backside??”
My daughter then told Emily that she saw Simba’s girlfriend did that to him in one of the scenes (Simba = the protagonist lion in the flick). Emily later verified that fact (in disbelief) from the video and indeed, there was a scene where Nala preened Simba’s ass as a gesture of intimacy (or something like that). You know, kids see kids follow… and now she wants my wife to lick her bunghole, because lions do that… and lions are cool animals.
But how do you explain that to a child? That animals preen each other when they have nothing to do? She’d always see it as licking, no matter how hard you explain. So now, my wife’s trying her best to veer my daughter’s interest off this stupid Lion King crap and get her to watch something else instead…