Archive for the ‘3-of-us’ Category

June 10, 2019

Regine wants a pet 2

My daughter Regine has always wanted a pet. She has harped me about wanting a pet since she was 6. Back then, we placated her with a couple of goldfish, which turned out to be a disaster. Lately, she told me she wanted a pet cat. I said no because cats are fucked up. I gave her many reasons.

Firstly, all our furniture will be gone. The fucking cat’s gonna claw the shit out of them, along with everything that lies in its path (our electronics, adapters, chargers, cables, settop box, tv… goddamn). Secondly, there’s going to be fur everywhere. Believe me when I say, no matter how short a cat’s fur is, it’s going to shed like no tomorrow (I know this because I have friends who are cat owners). I have enough human hairs to vacuum weekly, I can’t deal with the extra fur from 1 more cat. Thirdly, hygiene. I know cats preen themselves and they should be cleaner than a goddamn dog. But that’s not enough. Think about it. Do cats wipe/clean their ass after they poo? And that cat’s going to use the same ass to sit on our beds/furniture/face. How can anyone not find that disgusting?? (come to think of it, this applies to dogs as well).

So, no cats. She should feel grateful already that I allowed a daughter to dwell with us.

michaelooi  | 3-of-us  | Comments Off
March 11, 2019

Regine’s happy song

I remembered one particular day in life, when my daughter Regine was about 5, she came home from her nursery in a jovial mood, sang to us a silly tune with the following gibberish:

“Chick ker Chick ker chong…. Chai ker chai ker chai ker…”

We could not figure out what was she singing about, but it was funny. She’d sing the tune repeatedly through the day, always with a smile. For some reason, the tune lifted up everyone’s mood in the house, and she just won’t stop singing.

Puzzled, my wife asked Regine, “What was that song you’re singing?”

With her high pitched voice (as always), she proudly said “It was from Miss Leong’s phone.” What she meant was, she heard it from her teacher’s ringtone at the nursery.

On the next day, my wife checked with the teacher – out of curiosity – on what was the ringtone that she had on her phone. When the teacher played the tune on her phone to my wife, it turned out to be some Japanese anime song from a cartoon show, but it was nothing like how my Regine sang it. Anyway, the silly “chick ker” song that Regine created herself, burned into our minds permanently like Intel’s semiconductor fuse bits, and it reminded us of the great times of bringing up this little human being we created. Whenever I am down, I’d think of that day she sang this song to us and it makes everything ok again.

At 13 years old now, my Regine spends most of her time buried in her homework and Youtube, if not texting with her friends. I’d occasionally hum the tune of this song to her, but she’d look at me like I am out of my mind. Oh, how I missed those days when she was just the size of a huggable soft toy. Now, she’s about the size of a river crocodile.

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August 1, 2018

keke challenge

I had to do a school run one morning for my daughter Regine. This is usually done by my wife, Emily, because I have many early morning meetings. Fuck of a job, I know. Anyway, as expected, I got stuck in a jam that inches towards the school gate that morning. I looked at Regine in my rear view mirror, she was looking outside the car, watching the world went by.

Me:: “You know what’s a ‘keke challenge’, right?”

She beamed me a smile and said,

Regine:: “Yeah, hahah!”

To those of you who lives in caves and have not heard of the ‘keke challenge’, it’s a man-made phenomenon that cashes out years of accumulation of stupid people who have survived the process of natural selection either from means of technological advantage or sheer dumb luck. The challenge is real simple – just film yourself jump out of your moving car, and do a dance along the moving car… and post the feat in your favorite social media. Stupid people will find this challenge irresistible (you should be seeing this all over YouTube now of people getting their shit ruined by attempting the dangerous challenge). That’s why I had to find out if my daughter has to be put to sleep or something…

Me:: “So I’m gonna go real slow in front of the school here, and you can do a ‘keke challenge’ in front of your friends… how about that?”

Regine:: “You crazy?? I’m not dumb, ok?”

Me:: “Worst case, you’d roll on the pavement a few times, but you’d look good doing it. But if you succeed, you’ll be full of style.”

Regine:: “Nice try.”

I guess she passed the test then. She’s going to survive this world.

michaelooi  | 3-of-us  | Comments Off
September 15, 2017

how to appreciate your father

My 11 year old daughter Regine came to me about something in her BeeEm homework, I was busy reading a book on the bed.

Regine: “Daddy, what are the examples of ‘menghargai jasa ayah’?”

‘Menghargai jasa ayah’ means to show appreciation for your father’s contribution.

Me: “You can give him a hug… or maybe a gift…”

Regine: “What other examples? I need more examples”

Me: “Leave him alone…”

She got the message and left me alone. I knew she’s a smart one.

michaelooi  | 3-of-us, dialogs  | Comments Off
July 25, 2017

first spam from my daughter

Gave Regine her own phone some time back, and she spammed me for the first time…

michaelooi  | 3-of-us, e-chats  | Comments Off