April 22, 2017
One of the hardest thing about being a parent is to teach your kid about prudence and how to appreciate the little things we buy with our own money. Kids generally don’t care about money. The value of money is absent from their day to day cluster of thoughts, and that makes it even harder to teach them about being prudent or such shit.
My daughter Regine is no different from any other regular kid. She takes things for granted because we have been giving her the best, and would desire expensive glitzy things that her classmates had been showing off at school. One of the things that she sorely desired was that one ‘Smiggle’ pencil case. Now, if you’ve not heard of the brand, it’s like what a ‘Coach’ is… when compared to a regular handbag. Same shit, same design, but costs like 10x more than any other regular brand. Only that ‘Smiggle’ is all about school accessories (stationery, bags, tumblers, etc) and they’re targeted at kids.
So this goddamn piece of ‘Smiggle’ case costs about RM 104 bucks or something like that. I almost had a cardiac arrest when Regine told me the price. When I was in my secondary years, I used a metal pencil case which I bought for only 2 bucks, and I used it until I completed my engineering, and it’s still here today!
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February 1, 2016
I was hanging out with both my wife and daughter at the bedroom, swiping something on the phone, when I heard my daughter ask:
Regine: “Mommy, what is ‘titties’?”
Before my wife could answer, I was already laughing like a jackass, while wondering where the hell could she have heard such words being used in school. Must be one of the goddamn TV shows. Anyways, it was funny in a way it was being asked, so I laughed.
Regine: “Why are you laughing daddy?”
I wanted to tell her that ‘titties’ is another slang to describe ‘boobies’, which itself is also a slang, but I just couldn’t think of a way to do it with no harm done. That was when my wife remarked:
Emily: “He’s laughing because he must have thought of something dirty…”
I later found out that my daughter wanted to know what does ‘titis’ mean in BeeEm (which means ‘drip’), not ‘titties’ in English. It was fortunate I didn’t take the trouble to describe what are ‘titties’ to her…
July 13, 2015
When I was in my primary years, I had this strange ambition of wanting to be a teacher, for some twisted reasons only known to myself. A few weeks ago, I saw my 9 year old daughter, Regine, role-played as a teacher during her playtime at home. That was when I remarked to her –
Me: “So, you like to be a teacher huh? What happened to being a doctor?”
Regine: “If I can’t be a doctor, I can be a teacher.”
Me: “I know why you wanted to be a teacher.” *smile*
Me: “I wanted to be a teacher when I was little too. And I think it’s for the same reason as you do.” *smile*
Me: “I think you wanted to be a teacher because you get to beat the kids” *smile*
Regine: *+20,000 watt smile*
Yes, I fantasized about the power that a teacher wields – what could be more fun than beating up annoying kids without getting into trouble (this statement was still true back then)? I used to think about 101 ways to make my classmates’ lives miserable. Aren’t you guys fucking glad that I didn’t turn out to be a school teacher?
January 23, 2014
A Japanese neighbor gave my daughter Regine a hand-sewn Japanese rag doll. Delighted with the gift, she wanted to give the thing a name. Out of reflex, I suggested to give it a Japanese name to suit its origin. That was when my wife Emily asked me to suggest one… and I did…
Me: “I know a nice name – Rina”
Emily: “Rina? Nice but, doesn’t sound like a Japanese name to me…”
Oh it definitely is a Japanese name. I know because I have came across a lot of Japanese porn stars named ‘Rina’ during my teen-exploration years. Rina Kawaguchi or something like that. Busty with a cute face. I like! But I have to admit, it wasn’t such an appropriate name for my daughter’s doll, probably shouldn’t have brought it up in the first place. My bad.
Me: “It’s the name of a Japanese porn star…”
Emily: “What!? A porn star??”
My daughter then got curious…
Regine: “What is a porn star?”
Emily: “Errmm, a star who looks like a pony…” [my wife's quick thinking got us out of the potential mess]
Regine: “Oh! Ewwww! Let’s name it something else then”
Me: “Ok ok… how about ‘Yumi’?”
It was the name of a Japanese waitress whom I met at a pub many many years ago. Sweet young thing, who got so drunk with our group that she had to end her shift early and carried home by her co-workers. Now her name is also the name of my daughter’s rag doll.
April 11, 2013
Regine, my beloved 6.5 years old daughter… takes after me.
Regine: “Daddy, do we have the year of a mouse?”
Me: “No, but we have the year of a rat. Why?”
Regine: “Hmmm, I have a friend who looks like a rat”
Me: “So you think she might be born in the year of a rat? Because she looks like a rat?”
Me: “Well, she might be.”