Archive for the ‘2-of-us’ Category

July 3, 2006

today’s special too

Today’s special. Why? Here’s why:-

a) It’s Emily and I’s 10th anniversary of being in love. It was on July 3rd 1996 that Emily replied my call of love, and officially accepted me as her beau. My life has changed ever since… (puke puke puke)

b) It was the day Regine shed her first tear. Sure enough, she has been bawling for the last 26 days, but it was all dry crying. And today, when she was doing that to beckon for some attention and sympathy, I saw something in her eyes, and wiped it… only to discover that it was her first tear (I initially thought it was an eye wax or something). Daddy was the one who wiped her first tear. OMFG is that awesome or what?

3rd of July, a date definitely worth remembering…

michaelooi  | 2-of-us  | Comments Off
July 2, 2006

used to be

I was doing some spring cleaning today with Emily, when I saw a rather old Chinese New Year greeting card inside my personal deposit box. Not having any recollection of how it got there, I decided to open the card up and check out why was it so important that it was given a special place inside that box.

It was a card from Emily. Sent through snail mail to me many years ago when we’re still teenage lovers. Here’s what it said:

Dear Michael,
Perhaps knowing and understanding you is the best thing that has ever happened in my life.

Regards, Emily

I almost had a stroke, fidgeted a little, before turning to Emily and laughed squarely at her…

Me : “Hahahahhhh kanineh you! What was wrong with you? Hahahhhhh!!” [throws her the card]

Emily : -_-”

Me : “Hahhhahhh!! You should check it out dear.. hahahhh!!”

Emily : [reluctantly opens up the card] “OMG!! Ewhhhhh!! I’m getting all the goosebumps already!!”

That was an understatement. You should have seen her expression when she said that. It’s definitely more than goosebumps.

Amazing isn’t it? You look back at things that you did many years ago, it makes you want to scold yourself – what the fuck was I thinking? It happens all the time. It is as if you were comatosed during that dark period of your life and your biological body got possessed by some really mean ass demon that would do sohai things that you wouldn’t even dreamt of doing…

And now, after time has healed your spiritually unsound life, much to your horror, you start to consciously discover one after another horrifying facts about your past misdeeds, which you don’t even remember of doing…

This is so fucking scary man…

michaelooi  | 2-of-us  | 11 Comments
July 1, 2006


Today marks the 11th year since I met Emily on that fateful night of 1995.

I just want to let you know that I love you, dear… and will always do… no matter how ugly you become in the coming years…

michaelooi  | 2-of-us  | Comments Off
May 31, 2006


I was minding my own business when Emily deviated from her kibitzing with mom and called out for me:

Emily : “Wei!”

Me : “What?”

Emily : “Are you going inside?”

Me : “Inside where?”

My mom then interjected,

Mom : “The delivery room”

Me : “Are you crazy? Why would I want to do that?”

Now, FYI, the delivery of Regine was to be done through Caesarian method – due to Emily’s poor state of health. If you don’t already know what’s a Caesarian section, it’s a procedure where the doctor makes the baby perform a vertical takeoff from the mother’s womb instead of the usual cooter exit…

Mom : “Be there for her maa… you can hold her hands or talk to her to distract her attention”

Yeah, like it’s gonna make her forget that she’s delivering a baby.

Me : “That’s insane. I heard it’s very messy, just like a butcher opening up a pig. No thanks. I guess I’ll just wait outside and let the doctor do his job”

Mom : “Don’t be such a pussy. It’s going to be totally obscured from your view with a curtain, ok?”

Me : “Forget it. I’m waiting outside. Maybe Emily can SMS me after she delivered, I’ll then go inside…”

Mom & Emily: [smack heads repeatedly]

Hey, call me a pussy or a bad husband if you want, but I’m not the kind of person that goes all out to pretend that I totally dig at the idea of some random guy cutting up my wife, with all those gores and stuffs. No way. At least not on the person that I love. I just can’t bear to witness that. I know I’m gonna get the trauma that I don’t need.

(but if that Caesarian were to be performed on my boss’ head to remove an uterus out of it, then I’ll definitely so gonna fucking watch it with a tub of popcorn)

michaelooi  | 2-of-us  | 32 Comments
May 24, 2006

don’t be silly

There have been quite a significant number of zits popping up on Emily’s face ever since she got pregnant. As the guilty party who knocked her up, I volunteered to squeeze those zits for her (after all, I enjoy squeezing zits). And when I finished squirting a nasty one yesterday, Emily asked me this

“Dear, will you ever disdain me for all these?”

She was picking her nose while she was asking me that. I paused for a fragment of that second there from gazing at her colossal swollen nose – the wavy interlude of young Emily I met a decade ago came wafting in. The fine lass whom I knew from the instance that I saw her… to be the love of my life, and the painful 6 month abstinence I had to endure before she allowed me to even hold her hands. How can I ever forget the love that I had painstakingly sowed for? and the vow that I made inside the registration office in front of that cauliflower-haired biddy – that I’m gonna take care of my wife for the rest of my life? what’s a few squeezes of zits to me? (those zits are sure fun to pop)

If there indeed were to be anything at all to cause me any inconvenience, I know I can always rip a few farts to even back the odds. This is what commitment’s all about.

“Of course not dear. Don’t be silly” and I gave her that reassuring smile that everything’s gonna be alright (like I’ve just killed a rampaging bear).

Emily then smiled back and smeared her tainted finger on my T-shirt.

michaelooi  | 2-of-us  | 15 Comments