Archive for the ‘2-of-us’ Category

December 6, 2003

do you know her?

*names were changed to preserve the innocence of individuals.

Today, outside the cinema, while waiting to watch The Haunted Mansion:

Emily : “Dear, guess who I saw just now?”

Me : “Who?”

Emily : “It’s RoundGirl. Remember RoundGirl?”

Me : “What? RoundGirl? Do I know her?”

Emily : “My coursemate, RoundGirl. Don’t you remember? Think harder.”

Me : “Hmmmm… RoundGirl. I have no recollection of such person. She must be someone unimportant.”

Emily : “The short and round looking girl… that used to hang out with my another friend LongLegs.”

It was a fucking trap… I didn’t see it coming. LongLegs is also Emily’s coursemate, who is super hot.

Me : “Oooooh …. the blimp who used to hangout with LongLegs! I remember that LongLegs lass…”

I was so fucking stupid.

Emily : “Oh, you remember LongLegs.

That was suppose to be sarcastic…

Me : “Yeah man. She’s hot. I remember her because she’s like, so hot. Great legs, great tits. She’s worth to be remembered, every detail of it.”

I got carried away

Emily : [Opens mouth, and blaaasssstttt out a torrent of fire]

Lesson learned = always leave out your fascination with any hot looking exotic creatures from all your conversations with your spouse.

michaelooi  | 2-of-us  | Comments Off
September 30, 2003

the bill for “flying an aeroplane”

I sent an SMS to Emily yesterday (while she’s at work) :
‘dear, dun get mad at me, ok ? i’m sorry bout yesterday. I love you’

Her SMS reply:
‘dun worry..i’m ok now … but u owe me one big thing for not picking me up on time and let me wait. i love you too’

Owe her one big thing? Now that has to be the scariest thing a guy can ever hear from his girl. I reckon that she must already have something in her mind. She’s making use of this situation to trap me up. The “I love you too” phrase at the end of her message sounded so lifeless. At that moment, I am making a few thousands interpretations from her simple SMS reply. What’s the big thing that i am owing her?

Well, when she came home to wake me up from my deep sleep yesterday, we had a “one to one” talk.

“why did u consume when you already know that you need to fetch me??”

“it was my best friend’s farewell… and we had a few drinks. come on… it was just a party got out of control… ”
(you see, in situations like this, EVERYONE is your BEST FRIEND)

“did your so-called ‘best friend’ know that you need to fetch me up?” she asked.

“yeah, i told him. oh come on, it’s not my friend’s fault. It was my stupid boss.”
(i was trying to divert the blame to Rob here, because she knows I hate him very much. I’m wicked.)

“your boss?? he asked you to drink THAT much meh ??”

“nope. It was CK that told me that he would take off his shirt in public when he’s drunk enough… heheheh”
(laughing hysterically, apparently, i’m still a bit intoxicated.)

“who is CK ?”

“CK is that best friend of mine who’s leaving lor,… ok ok … let’s stop all these interrogation thingy, ok? I’m sorry”

“you owe me one big thing..”

“alright… and what’s that?”

The much dreaded word came out from her mouth right before my ears. I was like “Nooooooo … not thatttttt !!!”

She wanted me to accompany her to return to her hometown in Perak – a place with no entertainment, no internet connection, limited tv programmes, no friends, no mobile phone signals…
It’s like living in a deserted island with nothing. I’m going to fester to death there…
This is not looking good for me…

Lesson learnt : Do not mess with your loved ones. The consequences can be very dire…

michaelooi  | 2-of-us  | Comments Off