June 10, 2019

Regine wants a pet 2

My daughter Regine has always wanted a pet. She has harped me about wanting a pet since she was 6. Back then, we placated her with a couple of goldfish, which turned out to be a disaster. Lately, she told me she wanted a pet cat. I said no because cats are fucked up. I gave her many reasons.

Firstly, all our furniture will be gone. The fucking cat’s gonna claw the shit out of them, along with everything that lies in its path (our electronics, adapters, chargers, cables, settop box, tv… goddamn). Secondly, there’s going to be fur everywhere. Believe me when I say, no matter how short a cat’s fur is, it’s going to shed like no tomorrow (I know this because I have friends who are cat owners). I have enough human hairs to vacuum weekly, I can’t deal with the extra fur from 1 more cat. Thirdly, hygiene. I know cats preen themselves and they should be cleaner than a goddamn dog. But that’s not enough. Think about it. Do cats wipe/clean their ass after they poo? And that cat’s going to use the same ass to sit on our beds/furniture/face. How can anyone not find that disgusting?? (come to think of it, this applies to dogs as well).

So, no cats. She should feel grateful already that I allowed a daughter to dwell with us.

michaelooi  | 3-of-us  | 

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