Archive for 2018

July 3, 2018

15 fucking years old

This weblog has just fucking turned 15 years old. To you fucks who have no fucking idea how fucking long that is, here’s a fucking list to put things into fucking perspective:

– When I fucking started this weblog, I was only fucking 26 years old. I will be turning 41 this September. Fuck.
– I have fucking changed a total of 3 fucking cars since this weblog fucking started. The latest car I’m using now is 6 fucking years old. Fuck me.
– My daughter is fucking 12 now. I was still fucking bar hopping when the weblog started.
– My country has changed 4 fucking Prime Ministers since this weblog started. Madey, Pak Lah, Bijan and fucking Madey again.
– We were still fucking around with cathode ray tube televisions 15 fucking years ago.
– The word ‘tweet’ fucking meant nothing as a verb back when this weblog started because Twitter has not fucking existed yet.
– There were fucking no internet connectivity on phones 15 fucking years ago.
– Kill Bill was fucking launched the same year when this weblog started. I bet half of you fucking turds don’t know who Bill was (Bill’s dead).
– The Ronaldo we fucking had back then was a fucking Brazilian, not a fucking Portuguese.
– If you fucking started reading this weblog when you were fucking primary one, you’d have completed or about to fucking complete your tertiary education by now.
– Online shopping was largely unheard of 15 fucking years ago and laptops still fucking had floppy disk drives on them. (if you do not know what’s a fucking floppy disk, that’s your save button).
– Your mom wasn’t so fucking fat back then.

Proudly brought to you by the words ‘fuck’, ‘you’ and ‘me’.

michaelooi  | site stuff  | Comments Off
June 17, 2018

discipline your kids

I got into a sushi restaurant and took my seat. A short moment later, I heard this sharp squealing that originated from 2 tables away that sent out shock wave throughout the restaurant, triggering scorn from every patron inside the space. I looked over, and it was this little girl of no more than 4 years of age from a Malay family. The alpha male of the family, which I assume was the dad, was sitting beside this mad little fella. The dad had a full beard on him and he looked like someone you shouldn’t mess with. But despite that, the little girl were totally oblivious to that and went on screaming for a plate of sushi that she wanted on the conveyor. The dad, with a grim expression, complied her request and kid stopped screaming. This went on again and again, except for once when the dad decided that it was enough, to which the little girl went full scale meltdown. She spat stuff and started flailing her little arms, and screamed like she was possessed by an ancient demon from Sumeria. Dad of course caved, and again, gave her what she wanted (not sure because they were attracting a lot of attention, or simply because he was piss scared of his possessed daughter). It was an excruciating scene to see.

…which prompted me to notice – why do most Malay parents spoil their kids? I don’t see them spank their kids. I see shit like this all too many times. They let their children climb all over their heads, and they’d do nothing about it. When their children screamed at them, they’d relent to their way, and give them what they wanted. And I can tell that this has gone on since the old days (not just modern parents). I have many Malay friends, a lot of them had no authorities like what we Chinese/Indian kids had back in my time. The worst of the lot was a friend called Ariza. He lived 1 floor down from my old apartment. That guy screamed at his mom like she’s a slave to him. His dad was a burly and big guy, and Ariza screamed at his dad too. Occasionally when his mom go against his will, he’d go “PUKI PUNYA MAMA!! CIBAI PUNYA MAMA!!” – and half the block could hear him yelling that. The mama would look indifferent like a camel chewing cud and the dad would continue to read his newspapers. Ariza got what he wanted most of the time and he could come and leave anytime he wanted. If it was me, I’d have died because my mom would have beaten me to death.

And it’s not just about spanking your kids really. If one is ignorant/dumb enough to reach to the state of disrespecting his/her own parents, then it’s already quite late in the game. Like a advanced stage cancer. The parents would be considered a failure already. This has to be cultivated since the early age, teaching them about respecting the authorities and what are considered cardinal sins. I have never beaten my daughter before – not because I let her climb all over my head, but because I never have to. From an early age, we taught her what was acceptable and what was not, and it’s all psychological. In that kind of household, she automatically learned herself how things goes and got the gist of it. She’s never thrown a tantrum, never wailed like that banshee kid at the sushi restaurant and never gave us troubles in the cinema – because she knew those things would only get her more troubles (she just knew it). And now, when my daughter sees a scene like this, she could immediately relate and say “what was she thinking?”

But for me, it’s more like, what are the parents doing? Fucking discipline your kids already. Raise them up to be ‘berbudi bahasa‘ and ‘bertimbang rasa‘, not some spoilt kotek who goes around wrecking stuff when he/she doesn’t get what he/she wants. Teach them to reason. Spank them to let them know how to respect the authority. Do this instead of signing petitions or holding candle light vigils or breaking beer bottles in public. It all starts in the family. It’s better than you discipline them now than them learning it the hard way in the prison.

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June 3, 2018

drama minggu ini

I was driving out of the apartment compound to fetch my daughter from school with my wife. I reached the apartment boom gate which I was required to scan an electronic card to lift the gate and exit. But right in front of the scanner, were these 2 old Indian farts with a small fallen palm tree from a neighbor’s compound. One of them was an holding a hooked saw, and the other was holding the fallen tree (they both looked alike, I think they’re twins or brothers or something).

Because they’re blocking the whole way and I could not pass (and they did not seem to know that I was there), I let out a short honk, to let them know that ‘I’m here’. You know, a short honk, like a friendly honk. But instead of acknowledging that positively, the guy holding the saw started to get agitated and reacted by waving the saw at me menacingly. I didn’t provoke him further so, I just waited in the car for them to finish whatever the fuck that they’re doing. Then they proceeded to talk to each other about something (still holding the tree/saw) – like there’s a family matter between them (bad alcohol debt perhaps?) and that was when my wife remarked,

“What the hell are those guys doing there talking in the middle of the road? Why can’t they just drag the tree to the side?”
“I don’t know what’s wrong with them. Typical Indians. They wanted to look important, I guess.”

(I’m not a racist, please. I’m a misanthrope. I hate every fucking one all the same. Not just one race. Believe me).

The guy holding the hooked saw, saw us talking about them (the gesture gave it away), and again, we waved his saw at us.. like it is forbidden for us to have an opinion about him. And finally, after a couple moment’s worth of delay (waiting for these 2 old farts talking to each other in the middle of the road), they finally dragged the tree to the side and let me pass. When I reached the scanner area, agitated saw guy was standing next to my passenger window and was mouthing something at us with a grim expression. I rolled down the window to hear him clearly, and he said

“Lu tak boleh tunggu ka??” (in an angry manner).
[translation: “Can’t you just wait??”]

I don’t know what the fuck was that guy’s problem so I waited for him to finish what he got to say.

“Kita potong pokok, kalau itu pokok jatuh kena kereta kamu, macam mana??” (in an angry manner)
[translation: “We’re cutting down a tree. How would you like the tree to land on your car??”]

Fucking Indian antics again, being dramatic and all. One, the tree was already cut down and on the ground. He was full of shit there. Two, I did wait in the car, didn’t I? So why was he so damn pissed off about me waiting? Three, it was a fucking small palm tree, no bigger than a motorcycle. The guy was dragging it with 1 of his puny hands, that’s how small it was. I had to yell back at him for being such a bitch:

“Apasal lu marah-marah?? Saya tak marah lu marah apa?? Ambik pokok ke tepi lah!”
[translation: “Why are you so pissed off?? I should be the one who is pissed off! Just drag the tree to the side!”]

And my wife yelled at him as well “You mia pokok sudah potong lah!”
[translation: “You’ve already cut the tree!”]

He was taken aback. He probably thought we’re the kind of couple who’d let him castigate willingly because we’re supposed to be afraid of him. He tried to yell back but I wasn’t listening. I was prepared for a confrontation if he uses the saw on my car but eventually, he took a step back and walked the fuck away.

I really do not know why people like to complicate matters. All these could have been avoided and unnecessary. I get agitated easily too, yes, but this is a whole new level of hot headedness. Maybe it was the short honk that triggered him. Maybe that was the last thing he heard in his past life as a dog when a vehicle mowed him down into pieces, I don’t know. But as a grown up old fart, the guy could’ve been handled this way more calmly (I don’t expect professionalism), and amicably.

michaelooi  | experiences  | Comments Off
May 13, 2018

Malaysian politicians are morons – 3

So now we have the new government. As expected, some in-fighting already started before they even had time to clean up the streets of those banners and posters. That’s because, like it or not, most of these people who are forming this new Malaysian government… are amateurs. Most do not have the experience to run a country so, time is needed for them to break-in. Shit’s going to get much harder.

But even before it begins, this Rafizi Ramli guy (the PKR vice president) made a press statement yesterday to bitch about PKR not ‘being consulted’ to appoint the top 3 ministerial positions in the new cabinet. That was when shit hits the fan. People were pissed off because because it was deemed ungrateful (indeed) of him to do things like that to undermine the leadership. I was pissed too, like, can’t this idiot air his discontentment internally? Why go to the press? Imagine that if you do not like the dish your mom cooked for you, first thing you do is to go to the newspaper to castigate your own mom?? Doesn’t make a lot of sense I know.

And then there’s this idiot oxygen waster called Wong Chen, who is Rafizi’s BFF of some sorts, also a big winner of Subang Jaya’s parliament seat P104, came out with this idiotic post to defend Rafizi’s action in his Facebook – which made me even more pissed. Check out what that asswipe had to write:

[Source]
The matter is simple. PKR has 47 + 1 MPs. DAP has 42. Bersatu has 13. Amanah has 11. Note also that Sarawak BN MPs are now exploring to join Pakatan. Expectations and anxieties are high that many UMNO MPs will jump to Bersatu in the coming days.

The PM and Deputy PM positions were agreed earlier by Harapan before the elections. So the announcement of the next few senior ministers was to be made today by consensus of all parties. At 4 pm, Dr.Mahathir appointed the 3 new ministers in the presence Bersatu, DAP and Amanah. These 3 posts are the most powerful in the country. Finance went to DAP. Home ministry which controls the police goes to Bersatu. Defence which controls the army for Amanah.

Nothing yet for PKR, the single largest party in Pakatan? So what did Rafizi do that is so wrong in the eyes of the public? He is telling truth to power that these appointments were made without PKR consent. Then he tells us that Dr.Mahathir will see Anwar in hospital to consult Anwar and hopefully they can discuss and rectify the issue.

Rafizi does not want to see the new govt under Dr. Mahathir to start on the wrong footing and as such he dared to tegur Dr. Mahathir’s announcement. And for this he is villified by most of you.

It is precisely this unhealthy attitude of Malaysians never to question authority, that is the main reason why we allowed Rosmah and Najib to rule us for 9 years.

Rafizi worked tirelessly for 2 years with INVOKE to bring about meaningful change. I am proud to be his friend and will continue to support Rafizi in his quest to create a two party system for Malaysia.

The sentence that ticked me off was this : “It is precisely this unhealthy attitude of Malaysians never to question authority, that is the main reason why we allowed Rosmah and Najib to rule us for 9 years.”

The gall he had for saying we were ruled by assholes because of our ‘unhealthy attitude’! What the fuck! Does he even know how democracy works, that cibai!?

FUCK YOU WONG CHEN! FUCK YOU AND RAFIZI RAMLI AND YOUR DOG!

I have to say this, that when we voted, we voted for PH, not any specific person or his creed. The reason was simple, everyone wanted the tyrannical government out – because we weren’t exactly thrilled with their shitty policies, corruption and arrogance that had put our country in the backseat in terms of reputation for decades. Had anyone put a rabid dog in place of the (then) opposition party against BN, we’d have voted for that damn dog all the same and won the election. And now this guy suddenly is so full of shit and put himself on the high ground to condemn us! FUCK!

And now it’s disheartening to learn that PH still has a long way to make this right. They already disappoint big time before assuming office. GODDAMN!

michaelooi  | rantings, snippets  | Comments Off
May 6, 2018

the teenage girl at the cinema

…is a bitch.

How so? I was watching The Avengers Infinity War at the cinema with my family, when I noticed flashing lights coming from my right. At first I thought someone was taking a goddamn selfie inside the fucking cinema when the movie was showing, but it didn’t seem so because I know a camera flash only flashes once, and it illuminates the person’s face. But this was outwards, and it gave a 3 – 4 quick flashes, just like a goddamn plane’s beacon. It was annoying as fuck.

I tried to peer over to the side to see who the fuck was doing that but, alas, I could not see shit because it was as dark as fuck. And this went on throughout the duration of the movie and I swear I was at the verge of charging over to that direction and be prepared to give the perpetrator a concussion with my knee or something (perhaps hoping at the same time that the person isn’t as big as Thanos). But almost at the 4th quarter of the movie (that was when Thanos was about to teleport to Earth and fuck things up real bad), I heard an irate guy voice bellowing “CAN YOU STOP PLAYING WITH YOUR PHONE!?”.

…It was only then I found out that it was a teenager bitch who had one of those stupid phone case that blinks like mad whenever there’s a notification or something, and the teenager bitch couldn’t stop looking at her goddamn phone and reply the messages from her retarded friends. Though that confrontation should have gone way earlier and more hostile (something like “IF YOU DON’T KEEP YOUR GODDAMN PHONE NOW I’M GOING TO SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS!”), but it did the job. The blinking stopped.

According to my wife (who sat next to the bitch’s parents), she was already told many times by her own parents to keep the phone because the blinking was too annoying. But she didn’t care until some dude yelled at her. Fucking parents couldn’t do jack shit about their daughter’s insolence. Goddamn cibai. If it’s my daughter, I’d have tossed her phone into the sea for being such a bitch.

michaelooi  | ...is a bitch  | Comments Off