Archive for June, 2018

June 17, 2018

discipline your kids

I got into a sushi restaurant and took my seat. A short moment later, I heard this sharp squealing that originated from 2 tables away that sent out shock wave throughout the restaurant, triggering scorn from every patron inside the space. I looked over, and it was this little girl of no more than 4 years of age from a Malay family. The alpha male of the family, which I assume was the dad, was sitting beside this mad little fella. The dad had a full beard on him and he looked like someone you shouldn’t mess with. But despite that, the little girl were totally oblivious to that and went on screaming for a plate of sushi that she wanted on the conveyor. The dad, with a grim expression, complied her request and kid stopped screaming. This went on again and again, except for once when the dad decided that it was enough, to which the little girl went full scale meltdown. She spat stuff and started flailing her little arms, and screamed like she was possessed by an ancient demon from Sumeria. Dad of course caved, and again, gave her what she wanted (not sure because they were attracting a lot of attention, or simply because he was piss scared of his possessed daughter). It was an excruciating scene to see.

…which prompted me to notice – why do most Malay parents spoil their kids? I don’t see them spank their kids. I see shit like this all too many times. They let their children climb all over their heads, and they’d do nothing about it. When their children screamed at them, they’d relent to their way, and give them what they wanted. And I can tell that this has gone on since the old days (not just modern parents). I have many Malay friends, a lot of them had no authorities like what we Chinese/Indian kids had back in my time. The worst of the lot was a friend called Ariza. He lived 1 floor down from my old apartment. That guy screamed at his mom like she’s a slave to him. His dad was a burly and big guy, and Ariza screamed at his dad too. Occasionally when his mom go against his will, he’d go “PUKI PUNYA MAMA!! CIBAI PUNYA MAMA!!” – and half the block could hear him yelling that. The mama would look indifferent like a camel chewing cud and the dad would continue to read his newspapers. Ariza got what he wanted most of the time and he could come and leave anytime he wanted. If it was me, I’d have died because my mom would have beaten me to death.

And it’s not just about spanking your kids really. If one is ignorant/dumb enough to reach to the state of disrespecting his/her own parents, then it’s already quite late in the game. Like a advanced stage cancer. The parents would be considered a failure already. This has to be cultivated since the early age, teaching them about respecting the authorities and what are considered cardinal sins. I have never beaten my daughter before – not because I let her climb all over my head, but because I never have to. From an early age, we taught her what was acceptable and what was not, and it’s all psychological. In that kind of household, she automatically learned herself how things goes and got the gist of it. She’s never thrown a tantrum, never wailed like that banshee kid at the sushi restaurant and never gave us troubles in the cinema – because she knew those things would only get her more troubles (she just knew it). And now, when my daughter sees a scene like this, she could immediately relate and say “what was she thinking?”

But for me, it’s more like, what are the parents doing? Fucking discipline your kids already. Raise them up to be ‘berbudi bahasa‘ and ‘bertimbang rasa‘, not some spoilt kotek who goes around wrecking stuff when he/she doesn’t get what he/she wants. Teach them to reason. Spank them to let them know how to respect the authority. Do this instead of signing petitions or holding candle light vigils or breaking beer bottles in public. It all starts in the family. It’s better than you discipline them now than them learning it the hard way in the prison.

michaelooi  | thoughts  | Comments Off
June 3, 2018

drama minggu ini

I was driving out of the apartment compound to fetch my daughter from school with my wife. I reached the apartment boom gate which I was required to scan an electronic card to lift the gate and exit. But right in front of the scanner, were these 2 old Indian farts with a small fallen palm tree from a neighbor’s compound. One of them was an holding a hooked saw, and the other was holding the fallen tree (they both looked alike, I think they’re twins or brothers or something).

Because they’re blocking the whole way and I could not pass (and they did not seem to know that I was there), I let out a short honk, to let them know that ‘I’m here’. You know, a short honk, like a friendly honk. But instead of acknowledging that positively, the guy holding the saw started to get agitated and reacted by waving the saw at me menacingly. I didn’t provoke him further so, I just waited in the car for them to finish whatever the fuck that they’re doing. Then they proceeded to talk to each other about something (still holding the tree/saw) – like there’s a family matter between them (bad alcohol debt perhaps?) and that was when my wife remarked,

“What the hell are those guys doing there talking in the middle of the road? Why can’t they just drag the tree to the side?”
“I don’t know what’s wrong with them. Typical Indians. They wanted to look important, I guess.”

(I’m not a racist, please. I’m a misanthrope. I hate every fucking one all the same. Not just one race. Believe me).

The guy holding the hooked saw, saw us talking about them (the gesture gave it away), and again, we waved his saw at us.. like it is forbidden for us to have an opinion about him. And finally, after a couple moment’s worth of delay (waiting for these 2 old farts talking to each other in the middle of the road), they finally dragged the tree to the side and let me pass. When I reached the scanner area, agitated saw guy was standing next to my passenger window and was mouthing something at us with a grim expression. I rolled down the window to hear him clearly, and he said

“Lu tak boleh tunggu ka??” (in an angry manner).
[translation: “Can’t you just wait??”]

I don’t know what the fuck was that guy’s problem so I waited for him to finish what he got to say.

“Kita potong pokok, kalau itu pokok jatuh kena kereta kamu, macam mana??” (in an angry manner)
[translation: “We’re cutting down a tree. How would you like the tree to land on your car??”]

Fucking Indian antics again, being dramatic and all. One, the tree was already cut down and on the ground. He was full of shit there. Two, I did wait in the car, didn’t I? So why was he so damn pissed off about me waiting? Three, it was a fucking small palm tree, no bigger than a motorcycle. The guy was dragging it with 1 of his puny hands, that’s how small it was. I had to yell back at him for being such a bitch:

“Apasal lu marah-marah?? Saya tak marah lu marah apa?? Ambik pokok ke tepi lah!”
[translation: “Why are you so pissed off?? I should be the one who is pissed off! Just drag the tree to the side!”]

And my wife yelled at him as well “You mia pokok sudah potong lah!”
[translation: “You’ve already cut the tree!”]

He was taken aback. He probably thought we’re the kind of couple who’d let him castigate willingly because we’re supposed to be afraid of him. He tried to yell back but I wasn’t listening. I was prepared for a confrontation if he uses the saw on my car but eventually, he took a step back and walked the fuck away.

I really do not know why people like to complicate matters. All these could have been avoided and unnecessary. I get agitated easily too, yes, but this is a whole new level of hot headedness. Maybe it was the short honk that triggered him. Maybe that was the last thing he heard in his past life as a dog when a vehicle mowed him down into pieces, I don’t know. But as a grown up old fart, the guy could’ve been handled this way more calmly (I don’t expect professionalism), and amicably.

michaelooi  | experiences  | Comments Off