November 7, 2016

ghosts

Just watched that movie The Conjuring 2. While the movie’s quite good, one thing that grinds my gear about ghosts and haunting… is the low self esteem of the antagonist (the ghosts/demons). They wanted to be evil, but for some strange reasons, they always have to do it surreptitiously. Typically, if you look at the fucking stupid ghosts in the movies, they’d do lame ass shit like flipping switches, moving objects, and hiding in shadows – just to mess with people. And only when people started to get freak out, they’d do an occasional appearance to send a stronger message or whatever the fuck they wanted. At most, they’d possess some kids/girls to turn up the tension a notch or two, but that’s about it.

If you ask me, I’d say that’s too much effort and time wasted just to scare some weak willed people and kids. In the realms of the corporate world, that’s called being passive and it’s a characteristic of weak people. And these weak people, they get culled for that. Lower distribution of the bell curve. In the grand scheme of evilness in the history of mankind, ghosts/demons are like, a bunch of kindergarten kids trying to compete in professional Mixed Martial Arts competition. Totally lame.

So, back to my question, why the low self esteem? If I were to be a ghost/demon (you guys should thank your God that I’m not one), I’m gonna be fucking good at my job of being evil. I’m not going to lurk in the closet just to scare some loser. You know what I’m going to do? I’m going to make an appearance inside the Nobel Prize Award ceremony, and possess the smartest looking person there. And then I’m going to gouge my own eyes out, and gnaw off my own arm, and cannibalize that said arm in front of live TV. And then I’m going to evil laugh, say something crazy, and do the same crazy shit to the next person while leaving the one before bleed to death. When everyone has cleared the room in pandemonium, I’m going to levitate out in the public and do it to the next person I see… until the whole city is fucking dead/deserted. That ought to send a message or two. I will be the epitome of evil and everyone will be my bitch. I’m going to lay waste to humanity like it’s my thing. There will be no doubt of what I can do, what I am and whether I fucking exist. People will recalibrate their faith and scientists will rewrite the laws of physics because of me.

And there’s absolutely nothing anyone/anything can do about it – because I’m already dead, and I’m evil. And I’m gooooooood at my job.

(again, you fuckers are so lucky I’m not a demon/ghost)

michaelooi  | thoughts  | 

The commenting function has been disabled.