October 2, 2016

pious Muslim bloke

A single Muslim colleague, who is from outstation, is renting an apartment in Penang. I don’t know about you guys but for me, being single and renting beckons for an interesting icebreaking conversation… which is what I was trying to do…

Me: “So… Sohaimi, I heard you’re renting. So do you have female housemates? Or all blokes?”

Sohaimi: “In Islam, it is forbidden for unmarried guys to be living in the same house with females.” *smiles*

Me: “What about when you bring home your girlfriend? Those guys have to make themselves scarce?”

Sohaimi: “I do not have a girlfriend. It’s forbidden to bring them home, even if I have one.”

He was saying as if it was forbidden for him to have a girlfriend.

Me: “And do you watch porn? or play games?”

Sohaimi: “I’m not into games and porn is ‘haram’ in Islam”

Me: “You don’t have a girlfriend, don’t have female housemates, you don’t play games. So what do you do? Watch movies at home?”

Sohaimi: “Yes, I do watch movies. I like watching movies.”

Me: “So you must have shitloads of original bluray discs at home.”

Sohaimi: “No, not blurays. Why blurays? I download my movies, via bittorrent.”

Me: “Don’t you know that downloading via bittorrent is illegal and is widely regarded as a form of larceny? I’m pretty sure stealing is ‘haram’ in Islam.”

Sohaimi: “Oh hahah that one is ok.”

*dumbfucked*

Adik-adik sekalian, if you want to be pious, go all the way lah. Illegal software / movie download is a form of theft, and if those traditional Sharia laws were to be enforced, Sohaimi should have his mouse clicking hand hacked off with a blunt machete for taking something he didn’t pay for. I really don’t understand how this kind of reasoning works on some people.

michaelooi  | dialogs  | 

The commenting function has been disabled.