May 4, 2016

Eddie the waiter

Bill, the owner of a busy restaurant, one day summoned one of his trusted waiters to his office…

Bill: “So, Eddie, how long have you been with Sticks and Bones?”

Eddie: “Close to 8 years, sir”

Bill: “8 years already? Wow! So tell me, how do you fancy for a career advancement?”

Eddie: “That’s good to hear that sir! My boys are growing up and I sure could use some of the extra cash…”

Bill: “Good… good. Before that, tell me, how do you rate yourself in terms of dishwashing?”

Eddie: “Dishwashing… sir? I… I guess it isn’t that hard to learn…”

Bill: “I like the spirit! What about cooking? You have any experience in cooking?”

Eddie: “Ermm… I don’t know about that sir… I’m not sure where this is going…”

Bill: “Ok ok, what about general cleaning and degreasing? Finance audit?”

Eddie: “W… W… What is going on, sir? Why are you asking me these questions?”

Bill: “Cost reduction initiatives, Eddie. We have to let go Arun the janitor, Lou the cook, Brad the accounts clerk and Jahangir the dishwasher. I’m retaining you because you’ve won the best employee award a year ago.”

Eddie: “But, how the hell am I able to cover all their jobs??”

Bill: “Look at the bright side, Eddie. You’ll be getting the opportunity to learn. Risk taking is our restaurant’s culture! You’ll be a veteran in no time!”

Eddie: “And you call this a career advancement??”

Bill: “If this isn’t, I don’t know what is! [megawatt smile] It comes with a raise! Seven percent! And a free movie ticket every quarter!”

And Eddie jammed a piece of paper weight into Bill’s skull, caving a big hole that spills out part of his high fat low mass brain, which in a way, making his head less aerodynamic in the airless room.

michaelooi  | imaginations  | 

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