May 3, 2016

the world according to… me

The world according to… me

1) If my wife eats my food, I am entitled to order another one of it. And if my wife eats my second or subsequent serving, I am entitled to order another, and so forth.

2) If I ever ogled another girl in my wife’s presence, and I remarked some negative observations/comments about that girl to my wife, I’m automatically absolved of any sins committed there & then.

3) The dad is not obliged to attend birthday parties organized by the daughter’s stupid friends.

4) Sliced bread is not considered a full meal and can be eaten any time of the day.

5) If a person starts the answer to your question with “That’s a good question…”, it means he doesn’t know shit and is telling you he is attempting to convince you otherwise.

6) The Theory of Relativity applies to relationships as well – world gets smaller between me and the people I hate, and too damn big between me and the people I like.

7) A person who has the compelling need to brag about a friend or a relative who is rich/famous to boost his/her self esteem, is pathetic and deserves to be discriminated.

8) An ugly girl with a good personality is better than a pretty girl (with big tits) with fucked up attitude. Personality goes a long way.

9) Everyone’s an asshole behind a steering wheel on the road, unless proven otherwise by walking.

10) The number of relatives you have are directly proportional to the sins you’ve committed in your past life.

michaelooi  | thoughts  | 

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