December 1, 2015

animals like my house

I came home to this bizarre scene yesterday…

stucked cat
Is it a fucking garbage bag? A garbage bag with furry balls?

At first I thought someone prank-hung a garbage bag on my door, but upon a closer look, I realized it was fucking cat. Here’s an up close pic of that darn intruder…

intruder cat
Staring into the horizon, reflecting the sins that made it end up in this awkward situation…

At my eye level, I could see the cat’s pair of furry balls welcoming me back to my humble abode. I have absolutely no clue what was that fucknut doing up there near the top of my door, but it looked dazed. Maybe it’s on drugs or something.

I tried to free it from the position by pushing it out, but the cat held itself tight by wrapping its limbs around the metal grille. So I had no choice by to swing open the door, and yank it off my door with an armpit grab, and off I let it go at the corridor. But to my bewilderment, the cat dashed back to the door, and went back to the same position. Strong drugs. Had to yank it off the door for the second time, walked down to the ground floor and let it go again. This time, it made a beeline to the space under the nearest car and disappeared.

It wasn’t the first time this cat visited us. The previous time it was here, was about a year ago. I recognized it by its messy looking ‘mustache’ and the beautiful orange hue it has around its body. The last time it was here, it was at the same space between my metal door grille and the wooden door (but it didn’t climb like this time) – which startled my wife when she opened the door one morning. Like this incident, the cat returned to the door again and again after letting it go, eventually I had to grab it to the carpark. No idea why the cat was so particularly fond of going into that space between my 2 doors. I’m going to call this cat, the Gap Cat.

Here is the list of incidences of cat intrusion at my house:
– An ex-neighbor’s cat from the same floor called Skippy, came into the house twice. One of the times, my mom had to chase it around the house before it finally went out on its own. The other time, I managed to stop it at the door from intruding.
– Another neighbor’s cat from the lower floor. Not sure what’s its name, but I called it the Apple Cat (as it has an Apple logo on its abdomen). Jumped into my awning 3 times, and I rescued it 3 times. One of the times, it had to be let into the house because it had climbed up onto my air-con compressor unit and got stuck there. Had to open the window to let Apple Cat in (which was right behind the compressor unit). Here’s the pic of Apple Cat in action (note the Apple logo):
apple cat
Just made my awning its bitch

So, Gap Cat likes the space in between my doors. Skippy simply likes breaking and entering. And the Apple cat’s fucking love the awning. Goddamn cats. Here are various other intrusions by other animals:

– A bat flew into the house once. Circled around for a few minutes, then flew back out through the balcony.
– Came home to see a hamster scurrying around the same metal door one day. Asked around the neighborhood, it was from the same floor. A girl’s hamster was missing half a day ago, and it ended up at my place.
– A pigeon greeted me at the door with a vengeance in mind. Wrote about it here.
– A bird flew head on to the glass door at the balcony and got knocked out cold. Wrote about it here.
– A neighbor’s Dachshund (a dog) came to my door, looked at me for 5 minutes, and walked the fuck off.
– A praying mantis visited me once when I was taking a dump in the toilet. Had to cup it in my hands (with it clawing me madly from inside) and let it go at the balcony.
– A prepubescent bird learning how to fly stumbled into my living room and hid under my couch for some time (watching TV). Had to catch it and release at the balcony (flew off).
– Nevermind about house lizards, I’ve thrown out hundreds of them before with my bare hands.

Update Dec 2018:
Raccoon Civet cat outside my bedroom windows. Almost got in, but scurried away when my wife spotted it trying to break in.

What is it about my house that makes them animals like it so much?

michaelooi  | experiences  | 

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