Archive for December, 2015

December 17, 2015

2015 roll up

At the end of 2014, I made a vow for to do all kinds of things. I hate to break this out but, I must be drunk at that time. I don’t even remember what I wrote until today (I was writing in 3rd person, wtf). None of those shit happened. No I didn’t fork out anything to renovate the fucking house. No I didn’t enroll myself in an MBA program. No I didn’t get a bike, or got my shit together either. I didn’t do jack shit in 2015.

2015 is not entirely fucked up but, it sure hell is boring. The pace of life at Company T has been slow as fuck as well. In my ex-Company Y, I was THE SHIT, running 8 – 9 portfolios, had 50 over reports in a week, had round the clock meetings, 10-minute lunches (with on-off food poisoning), multiple concurrent projects and I had to deal with terrorists. Time passed in warp speed. In Company T? It’s like a 900% regression of what I did at Company Y. That’s like switching from a illegal V8 street drifting race to a college USB-powered drone cum science fair. My time management skill is hardly needed and I had to deal with a lot of whiny pussies instead. Life literally is moving in slow motion for me in 2015 and I fucking hated every second of it.

That is probably the reason why I recently have gone back to gaming. It is the only way I could get my mind off on how shitty the year has been. That and tonnes of TV series I’ve been watching. I’d probably go back to more writing, but I have to see on that. I’d been planning on a long vacation somewhere in June 2016, might make it a yearly ritual. But for now, I’m going to just waste the remnants of 2015 away with more gaming and hope for a better 2016.

michaelooi  | flashbacks  | Comments Off
December 11, 2015

feminine

Company T installed some fancy ass toilet seats in the loo recently…

On the right side of the seat, rests this plastic bar with 2 knobs labeled “family” and “feminine”.

Here’s the picture of the knobs:

Looks like the control for a goddamn massage chair…

I’ve seen these from the internet before. Very popular in Japan. What those knobs essentially do is shoot a jet of water to clean your ass or something (to save the loo user the energy-sapping chore of having to use a bidet). This is a non-electronic version, but those in Japan are mostly electronic, which has better capability I guess… like maybe dispense some warm air to dry your nuts or pneumatic tampon removal…

For the clueless blokes in Company T, this novelty of a gadget seemed to have piqued their interest enough to make them inadvertently wet themselves and the floor (evidenced by the wet booths – you can actually see the water beads all in the pic above). That’s a mistake. The idea is, your ass needs to be on the seat, otherwise the water will simply shoot out of the bowl unobstructed thus wetting everything in its path.

Anyway, the curiosity got to me too. But I was smarter than them rats, I sat my bare ass down on that bowl and tested the damn knobs. So what was the difference between “family” and “feminine”? It is just the angle, boys… just the angle. The “family” rubs the rim, the “feminine” shoots higher pressure at it. I don’t know why but, I guess it must be a sexual thing. (girls like anal).

michaelooi  | experiences, work shit  | Comments Off
December 1, 2015

animals like my house

I came home to this bizarre scene yesterday…

stucked cat
Is it a fucking garbage bag? A garbage bag with furry balls?

At first I thought someone prank-hung a garbage bag on my door, but upon a closer look, I realized it was fucking cat. Here’s an up close pic of that darn intruder…
Read the rest of this entry »

michaelooi  | experiences  | Comments Off