Archive for July, 2015

July 23, 2015

proper meeting etiquette

You kids need to learn a thing or two about proper meeting etiquette… you cibai

Check your participants’ availability before you send an invite
If you’re an organizer, please fucking make an effort to check your participants’ availability before you call for an important meeting (if it’s not important, then you shouldn’t have fucking called a meeting in the first place).
In the old days sans the internet, people actually had to pick up the phone to call up every participant to do that. Now it’s just launching the goddamn calendar, and see with your eyes! Won’t take a jiffy.

Be punctual
This is a no-brainer. How would you like your coffee to be served half an hour late? Or your bluray movie only plays 25 minutes later after you’ve pressed the PLAY button? That’s exactly how everyone feels when your tardy ass comes into a meeting late and started to ask questions that had already been addressed earlier when you weren’t around. Being punctual is like watching a dog’s tail wag. It shows people how serious you are with your work and your trustworthiness. If you’re always late, you’re then likely not a dependable person and everyone should stay the fuck away from you.

Respond to a meeting invite, for fuck’s sake
Now, how hard it is to respond to a meeting invite or email electronically from your PC!? People fail to do that all the time and I don’t fucking get it why. It’s either a yes or no. But you have to be a dick about it and hold the invitation in the high Z in a conceited way (deliberate or not) and hope people will read your mind. That’s just plain reckless. If the meeting’s a fucking clown show, just grow some balls to respond a NO… otherwise, you’d be the dickwad that blocks progress.

Pay attention you fuck
And by accepting the invite through a response, you have agreed to dedicate your X minutes of work hours for that meeting. That means, no stray discussions or other activities like Facebooking or instant messaging with the office slut or whatever! Doing that is akin to being a party pooper. Know what’s a party pooper? A party pooper is like someone spreading a Christianity sermon at a rave party. Someone who regresses your progress. Someone who acts like an antimatter. Someone who sucks a donkey’s cock. Dedicate your time to get the meeting objective over with, and you’ll have less meetings to deal with later.

Hold your meeting at a proper time
Proper working hour, that is. In my book of reasoning, 30 minutes before lunch or end-of-business hour are not considered ‘proper time’. That’s because your meeting is either going to overrun your participants’ lunch hours, or the go-home hours. Either one isn’t going to be good for you because all they are going to think is not the agenda in the meeting, but food/home. That is a blatant waste of time and resources (when shit doesn’t get done). Worse it could get is to organize a meeting OFF-WORK hours. It means you’re not efficient and you’re compensating your inadequacy with your family time. Not only you’re a bad employee, but also a bad parent/spouse/partner/[insert social role]. You should be sacked.

Plan your meeting with agenda
Speaking of agenda, more often than not, I receive invitations to meetings that say “discussion…” or any moronic one worded title without an iota of information about what to be discussed et al. That’s just retarded. A meeting has to be set up with proper agenda to prep the participants what the fuck it is all about and what you plan to discuss. That’s to avoid the participants to look back at you like a deer in front of a pair of headlights and the whole discussion becoming a monologue. Just give them a background, a something. Get them prepared to take you head-on. Be a man.

Be prepared for a meeting
As a participant, if you have an agenda under your name, get your ass prepared. Just create a goddamn folder in your desktop and dump in a copy of every related shit you plan to share/show/present into it (you can delete it the fuck off once you’re done). That way, you’d always be able to find your stuff effectively and have an efficient sharing/presentation. I’ve seen some retarded chodes fumbled for 10 – 15 minutes looking for some folders or files, wasting a whole room’s worth of participants’ time.

I can go on, but these are the essentials. Will write another one when I can think of more…

michaelooi  | work shit  | Comments Off
July 13, 2015

teacher

When I was in my primary years, I had this strange ambition of wanting to be a teacher, for some twisted reasons only known to myself. A few weeks ago, I saw my 9 year old daughter, Regine, role-played as a teacher during her playtime at home. That was when I remarked to her –

Me: “So, you like to be a teacher huh? What happened to being a doctor?”

Regine: “If I can’t be a doctor, I can be a teacher.”

Me: “I know why you wanted to be a teacher.” *smile*

Regine: *smile*

Me: “I wanted to be a teacher when I was little too. And I think it’s for the same reason as you do.” *smile*

Regine: *smile*

Me: “I think you wanted to be a teacher because you get to beat the kids” *smile*

Regine: *+20,000 watt smile*

Yes, I fantasized about the power that a teacher wields – what could be more fun than beating up annoying kids without getting into trouble (this statement was still true back then)? I used to think about 101 ways to make my classmates’ lives miserable. Aren’t you guys fucking glad that I didn’t turn out to be a school teacher?

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July 3, 2015

12 years

12 years ago today, I started this blog. How long is 12 years? It is long enough to:
…wage two and a half World War I’s. WWI only took ~4.3 years
…wage two World War II’s. WWII only took 6 years.
…span more than half the career of a professional soccer player.
…have the opportunity to change the Malaysian government TWICE!
…witness at least 1 rotation of a new US president.
…conceive the Star Wars universe and complete the screening for Episode 4, 5 & 6.
…progress from accessing the WWW with a 14.4k dialup modem on a desktop PC to wifi on a notebook computer (it actually took less than 10 years).
…complete your fucking primary education.
…build the Petronas Twin Towers… 3 fucking times (it took only 4 years to build the 2 towers)
…EOL at least 8 models of iPhone (iPhone started in 2007, and it’s only iPhone 6 now).
…watch 3 World Cups and 3 Summer Olympics.
…rack up about 240,000km of mileage in your car.
…complete 85% of African-American Civil Rights movement at USA.
…reach planet Neptune with Voyager 2 space probe.
…revolutionize the display from bulky CRT to thin ass HD LCD for both the TV and monitor industry.
…transform from a young early adopter of blog reading to an old fart/hag with no life lurking in some obsoleted nonsensical blog.

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