September 25, 2014
You know, I’ve always hated bitter gourd as a child and most of my youth. My late mother liked it a lot, and whenever she cooked this dish – ‘Braised Chicken with Bitter Gourd and fermented beans’ (BCBGFB) – I always had to pick out the chunks of bitter gourd like they’re laden with rat poison.
But that changed one day when my wife and I were thinking of doing some adventure cooking (you know adventure cooking? That’s when you attempt to cook something you’ve never done before). For some weird fucking reasons, this BCBGFB came up. With a little bit of Googling around and painful recollection of my lost tastebud memories, I managed to cook this bowl of BCBGFB :
Not actual picture of the first dish, this is like, the 4th cookout already…
It kicked so much ass, that I finished most of the bitter gourd myself, and turned into a bitter gourd believer. Amazing isn’t it? Here’s how I did it…
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September 9, 2014
…is a bitch.
The course was a 1 full day event, which started at 8am, and the bitch came lumbering in at about 9am. Waddled through some chairs, and sat right in front of me blocking the projected screen, prompted me to shift my position lest all I would learn the whole of that day was her fucking turgid head with split-end graying hairs.
As if it wasn’t bad enough to be a view blocker, she immediately asserted her position the moment she came in like an alpha male primate (albeit she is actually an anjing betina), by asking the instructor shitloads of attention seeking questions (some of which she would have known had she came on time). To top it off, she asked them all with an unmistakable fake English accent, and would look around the room at the end of each question, checking if anyone has caught her faking her intelligence. And when she’s not asking, she’d whip out her mobile phone to IM her imbecile friends or clacking away on her stupid notebook replying emails (if that’s not obvious to you, that’s like, fucking rude). Then she’d cycle back to asking another stupid question, look around for attention, back to mobile phone, repeats. Her personality screams “Oh my cunt is sho…. BIG, that it has tectonic plates and its own weather system!”. Totally fucking revolting.
Then came the lunch break, which was prepared by the class organizer. Everyone took their own (fucking pathetic) bento with a chicken, and this bitch went ahead to exclaim loudly – “Where’s my vadge-gee-tarian set?”. (she made emphasis on the ‘veg’ pronunciation, and exaggerated the silent ‘e’ vowel after the ‘g’). Like she has the compelling need to let everyone know that she doesn’t eat animals. Judging from her cellulite ridden lard ass, she must have gotten the extra unused energy from excessive protein intake through a human. I was surprised that this walking fossil hasn’t considered super-glueing some sequins, plastic beads and fake diamonds on her forehead already, since she liked attention so fucking much.
I hope she gets pesticide poisoning from the vadge-gee-tables she ate.