August 16, 2014

some random lady at a coffee shop

…is a bitch.
It started with me walking into a coffee shop – alone – to have my breakfast. I placed my order from one of the stalls in there, and tried to look for a place to settle. There were a lot of empty tables around, so I picked one randomly. And then I kinda noticed this lady, who was standing about 30 – 40 feet away near another food stall, started to give me this stinky eye like I’ve just molested her or something. I didn’t know what was that for, so I just ignored her.

She would continue to glower at me for a good minute or so, and came to settle to another table next to mine. I continued to ignore her, thinking she must be fucking crazy. Then a waiter brought 3 mugs of Milo to my table, to which I denied ordering, and that was when the ‘angry lady’ flagged the waiter over to her table, and rudely (loudly) exclaimed in Hokkien “I had to change table because some guy took mine!”. That was only when I realized that the lady must have occupied the table I was sitting before me, and went off to order something. But I was rather pissed that she had to make it sound like I deliberately took her table like I had a fucking evil motive. For the record, the table was fucking empty, and I should be given the benefit of doubt for that. There’s no way I could have known it was occupied. Had I known it was occupied, I would have settled at another table, why the fuck would I take hers? CIBAI.

I wasn’t gonna let her take a sneak shot at me like that, so I kinda raised my voice over her remarks (in Hokkien) “So this is all about this table being yours?? You could have said so!”. That was also when my food arrived, and I told the server – rather loudly, in front of that lady – “Please put the food over there [next table]. This damn bitch here is mad at me for stealing her table!”. I was expecting her to get mad or something but instead, the bitch kinda shriveled to the size of a circumcised foreskin of a toddler. I could tell that she was freaked out (maybe she thought I was psychotic, and might give her a foot stomp mammogram on the coffee shop kerb).

See the picture on the left? You’re looking at her, and her hump – which is full of arsenic and ammonium fertilizer. I hope she gets tape worm infestation from that plate of noodles.

michaelooi  | ...is a bitch  | 

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